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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 29, 2004, at 22:14:19
Okay I was married at the tender age of 22 and that marriage lasted for only a few years with a traumatic break in the middle.
Well life did deal a "make it or break it" hand.
I was bluffing but went for broke.
I didn't fold my hand till I was spent.
I ended my thirst for love when the love of my life professed I was crazy.
Oh joy.
I exited and fled back to my husband.
He seemed to be a safe harbor.
Well now this man is dead.
I can't really make sense of this.
My memories keep going and the stories still are alive.
We had a dog, a camero, a house with a bath tub full of foul weed, we had a life that was filled with distraction. Distraction from my saddenss. I had loved and lost. My fall back was this man I had married. I am ashamed. I could have been more.
He's gone now. He's gone.
I am still here on this planet of joy, sorrow, angst and love. I am still alive.
He has gone.
Posted by mmcconathy on August 29, 2004, at 23:54:56
In reply to My husbands death.....what does this mean?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 29, 2004, at 22:14:19
I'm 17, but im trying to help even thought i have no experience in this yet.
Now im putting up all disclaimers, but do you belive in God? and know there is a heaven.
I know this may sound stupid, well maybe i am, but i always belive that souls go to heaven, and that always gives a feeling of optimism knowing that there spirit still exists even throught there psyhsical body is deterioted.
"I exited and fled back to my husband.
He seemed to be a safe harbor.
Well now this man is dead. "If i could help anymore with advice, i would but my age prevents me. I wish you the best, and pray you become strong, and not look to death as a option.
Stay Strong.
Matt
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 30, 2004, at 7:26:15
In reply to Re: My husbands death.....what does this mean?, posted by mmcconathy on August 29, 2004, at 23:54:56
Posted by Shar on September 2, 2004, at 21:19:25
In reply to My husbands death.....what does this mean?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 29, 2004, at 22:14:19
Jai,
Is his death recent?There is rarely making any 'sense' of death, IMO. I think the best we can do is honor those who have gone in the best way we know how.
In what way do you think you can honor him? If at all. Sometimes even that is hard to do.
Please talk more about this if you want.
Shar
Posted by tabitha on September 2, 2004, at 23:27:40
In reply to My husbands death.....what does this mean?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 29, 2004, at 22:14:19
You had a camaro and a bathtub full of weed? Sounds like my marriage.. we had a Ford Fairlane and a closet full of magic mushroom culture, and a few skinny dope plants under gro-lights. I was thinking about my husband yesterday. He was 19 when we met, and he'd be nearly 40 now. I can't imagine him middle-aged. We've lost touch and for all I know he could be dead.
Sounds like you still have some warm feelings towards your ex-hubby? It must be really disconcerting to know he is dead.
Posted by Jai Narayan on September 4, 2004, at 10:01:26
In reply to Re: My husbands death.....what does this mean? » Jai Narayan, posted by tabitha on September 2, 2004, at 23:27:40
I posted on writing the beginning of a story about my marriage called part one.
I got wind that there was an obit in my hometown paper in March of this year. I only heard about it in August. So I have spent hours searching the obits in the paper and can't find anything. So till I see it....well I just don't believe it.
*Shar, thanks for your kind comment and I just might have to talk about his possible departure. Thanks
*Tabitha....loved your sharing....I laughed right out loud!
The closet full of mushrooms was were I lost it. So funny.The weed we had in out tub was wet and we were drying it there because when we laid it out in the backyard on tarps in the sun....well we got a little paraniod. This weed was so horrible that we would end up with a wicked headache. Not even a dry mouth....just a dull throbbing. Bad weed.
Please read my story on writing babble, it's not perfect and needs work but I am going to try to post most of it in installments.
Feel free to comment.
ps I brought this story to a writing class and one of the people in the class commented on what a low life I was to write such a story.
Posted by Shar on September 5, 2004, at 22:15:33
In reply to Re: My husbands death.....what does this mean?, posted by Jai Narayan on September 4, 2004, at 10:01:26
lol, this is just evidence, Jai, that it takes all kinds...or different strokes for different folks, etc. Don't YOU dare feel bad about it!
Your THT friend,
Shar
> ps I brought this story to a writing class and one of the people in the class commented on what a low life I was to write such a story.
Posted by Jai Narayan on September 7, 2004, at 18:52:26
In reply to Re: My husbands death.....what does this mean? » Jai Narayan, posted by Shar on September 5, 2004, at 22:15:33
Posted by jay on September 16, 2004, at 21:07:42
In reply to My husbands death.....what does this mean?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 29, 2004, at 22:14:19
Hmm...well, I wrote a book about it (death of my two only pillars in life..earth and sun...child and wife...one f***ing year apart...sorry..)..actually, I didn't write the book, but 'tis a similar story. It's called "Ghost Rider" and it brought me through my lowest of the lows...where a bag of cocaine and a gun where 'fun' at the time. I thought at the time.."who would blame me??". OK..that's all I can write about this.
Best,
Jay
Posted by Jai Narayan on September 17, 2004, at 22:04:03
In reply to Re: My husbands death.....what does this mean? » Jai Narayan, posted by jay on September 16, 2004, at 21:07:42
I was about to post an ode to my xhusband. But I read your post and my, you are suffering. Sounds like you made it through some hard times.
Gracious. Life is hard to survive sometimes.
Please keep posting.
talk about it as best you can.
Posted by jay on September 18, 2004, at 10:30:57
In reply to jay...your story is important., posted by Jai Narayan on September 17, 2004, at 22:04:03
> I was about to post an ode to my xhusband. But I read your post and my, you are suffering. Sounds like you made it through some hard times.
> Gracious. Life is hard to survive sometimes.
> Please keep posting.
> talk about it as best you can.
>Well..thank you for the kindness. You really know where I am at..and I feel deeply sorry for all of the pain you went through. Life...ughh..I don't even know, I try so damn hard not to wallow in my own pathetic missery, as I am sure we all do. It seems so hard to even just get up at 6 am to goto work..eh? (Yes, I am Canadian, lol)You feel like you are in the body of a 150 year old person.
I really hope you can find some healing...that's what I am trying to do so hard..sometimes I get there, sometimes I don't. Two steps forward..one step back. Please share *your* thoughts and feelings too, ok?
Best to you,
Jay
Posted by Jai Narayan on September 19, 2004, at 20:28:02
In reply to Re: jay...your story is important., posted by jay on September 18, 2004, at 10:30:57
Well honestly right now I am getting used to having a good friend tell me to stop communicating with them. the piece that is confusing for me is how did we get to this place. Its funny when our communication began I keep wondering how the end would be. You know when something so wonderful starts then you just know...it's too good to be true feeling comes over you. Well I had that moment so many times. I am sad. I miss this person and their life. I am no longer privy to the ins and outs. It's like a breakup of sorts. I have been sad all day. I haven't told anyone but you.
I feel like crying. why does the absence of someone create such a hole? Like on the pale face of the moon...a big impact area.
I had felt so good about my connection with this person. It was short lived. Maybe that should be a hint. Comes on fast and wonderful and then just leaves....
I am left.
Left pondering.
wondering.
So that's whats happening to me.
Thanks for asking Jay.
I hope your day was better.
Jai
This is the end of the thread.
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