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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by verne on May 6, 2007, at 10:10:56
Anyone tried this for anxiety or insomnia? I think it's called jujube too. (haven't I seen that in shampoos?) I've probably taken it by another name and don't even know it.
Here's a link: http://www.herbalists.on.ca/resources/freeman/ZIZYPHSP.html
It has alkaloids similar to Lotus - the nelumbo variety that I found more effective than any of the other lotuses. The nelumbo (can't remember full name) lotus from Nepal even had an analgesic quality if I smoked it (water pipe) but the powder and tea didn't do much. The preferred method is soaking in wine for a week or two but that's out for a boozehound like me.
I guess this will be my next experiment when I'm up for it.
verne
Posted by Declan on May 6, 2007, at 17:59:31
In reply to Zizyphus Spinosa, posted by verne on May 6, 2007, at 10:10:56
Hello Verne
Zizyphus Spinosa is something I take regularly. It is the inner part of the seed of the sour Chinese spiney date.
The fleshy part surrounding the seed is the jujube, and it is used as a sedative as well and also as a flavouring.
The jujube is said (from memory) to be damp and therefore unsuited to such as (myself who) have damp constitutions.I take a liquid extract, mixed with a little skullcap, maybe amounting to 10g?
It is a high dose herb, and I need a decent dose for it to work.
It is without illeffect AFAIK, and is said to improve your complexion.It is found in combinations in TCM, which increase the sedative efficacy, so lower doses of zizyphus are needed to get a similar result.
The actual seedy part of zizyphus spinosa is remarkably tasty, something like toasted sunflower seeds. In TCM it is toasted to reduce dampness.
Declan
Posted by verne on May 7, 2007, at 8:23:40
In reply to Re: Zizyphus Spinosa » verne, posted by Declan on May 6, 2007, at 17:59:31
Hi Declan,
Thanks for the detailed reply. What is "TCM"? I'm only running on one cylinder lately, maybe I once knew, and can't remember.
Where do you get your supply? I don't think iherb.com has this - except, perhaps, in a formula - ingredient #36, listed right after the bat droppings. My next choice is 1stChinese Herbs, I'll check there when I'm ready to order.
I don't have the will or wherewithal to even look. Overwhelmed right now. Daughter disowned me and my son-in-law raged at me over the phone because I complained about how they kept their dog in a small cage 20 hours a day. Pet owners can be very sensitive about their prisoners. Horrible things were said, including a threat to have me arrested for harassment if I ever called again (only called once and left a message).
I've given up but I won't turn to drinking. I need to be sober to tie up loose ends - that will take months - if not over a year. By then, perhaps, I'll change my mind.
Verne
Posted by teejay on May 7, 2007, at 9:12:05
In reply to Re: Zizyphus Spinosa » Declan, posted by verne on May 7, 2007, at 8:23:40
Sorry to hear of your problems verne. I know how lousy family relationships can drag you down.
Let it be known however that keeping a pet in a tiny cage for 20 hours a day is cruel and IMO you did the right thing not keeping quiet. Dunno what country you live in, but if you really wish to do something then various animal cruelty places will give em a kick up the backside. Might cause you more heartache though so a tough decision.
TCM I think might me Traditional Chines Medicine judging by the context of its use, but not 100% sure.
Have a hug ((((((((((verne))))))))))
TJ
Posted by verne on May 7, 2007, at 10:15:55
In reply to Re: Zizyphus Spinosa, posted by teejay on May 7, 2007, at 9:12:05
Thanks for the encouragement, Teejay.
The situation for the dog will improve eventually when they finish an outside kennel with a door to the garage. But at night it will still be confined to the cage in the basement until it's housebroken and then a small room in the basement after that. It won't be allowed in the rest of the house at all.
It's a four month old Saint Bernard and can't even turn around in the cage. It really traumatized me when I saw it in what amounts to a carrying cage. I had to say something - I mean, I couldn't even sleep at night. Anyway, once it has the garage and outside kennel, I'll feel better.
But the damage to my relationship with my daughter and son-in-law seems irreparable. After years of casting me in a negative light, he has already alienated my daughter from me and I half expect her to suddenly have "recovered memories" of abuse. After my dog comments, my son-in-law said I was the most "abusive" person on earth and turned the truth upside down. I haven't done anything right *ever*. I've only seen them about a dozen times in 4 years - I guess those Christmases, where the presents I gave them buried the tree, were abusive.
My whole life was my daughter. I did everything I could to help her (and my son-in-law) and now I'm the villian who wants to "ruin" their life.
This will either make me or break me.
Verne
Posted by teejay on May 7, 2007, at 10:49:51
In reply to Dog Situation » teejay, posted by verne on May 7, 2007, at 10:15:55
I really don't know what to say verne, I really don't.
I do know what troubled families are like though. I don't speak to my mother (and probably never will) so I know about how unfair life can be at times.
Perhaps the situation you describe is mirrored in that of your son in law and daughter? Maybe she is in a 'small cage' and only allowed out when he decides? From the very small amount of description you have given, he certainly seems the controlling type. If that is the case, its hard to see matters improving while he is around, and she is obviously under his spell.
Maybe its time to start living for YOU instead of others?
TJ
Posted by Declan on May 7, 2007, at 17:05:49
In reply to Re: Dog Situation, posted by teejay on May 7, 2007, at 10:49:51
Terrible family situations....yes....it would be nice to think that they were behind you.
By the time you get to 50 you'd hope that there should have been enough of them.I'll dig up the Traditional Chinese Medicine name for that product.
Posted by tealady on May 7, 2007, at 20:47:40
In reply to Dog Situation » teejay, posted by verne on May 7, 2007, at 10:15:55
Hi Verne,
I have a couple of dogs myself, but they get run of the full yard and the house at times too:).. it does make the house hairy and dustier though.
Still I know dogs have feelings too, and I consider them a part of my family.I think that you did the right thing is calling your daughter. Maybe she misinterpreted your meaning, though it doesn't sound likely.
I believe you have to live with yourself first, so always try to follow your own values and heart,as you did. If there is a conflict anyone in doing this, then there's a conflict. It's hard, but I prefer to live with knowing I tried.
Posted by verne on May 8, 2007, at 7:22:12
In reply to Re: Dog Situation, posted by teejay on May 7, 2007, at 10:49:51
Teejay, you're right, I think, about the "controlling" bit and my daughter being under his "spell".
She explained away the replacement of two doors in their rental house before they bought their current house (from a friend of mine for 50% market value, no interest, no fees, and my friend threw in about $20,000 in appliances and extras) Yet my son-in-law raged, that I was trying to "ruin" them.
Both doors were kicked in - not normal wear and tear.
He's very controlling and what scares me is the two demolished doors and his rant at me. Never, in all my borderline days, have I heard such rage.
He's a "nice guy" but the doors and his phone call tell otherwise.
Sadly, my daughter has a kind of learning disability where she has trouble thinking for herself. She's a genius in math but can't think or comprehend what she's reading - or hearing. He fills in the gaps, constantly jabbering away. I can't talk to her on the phone without his input in the background.
He's a pathological liar. I've lost track of all the obvious lies. He claimed to be a "priest" for 3 years. He traveled the world, was in the military, and had tremedous credit. (He actually told Sarah he didn't use his credit cards for small stuff, so I ordered their latest computer on my card ($1,400).
When she talked about taking the SAT's and asked him about his scores, he said he couldn't tell her because she might feel bad. (nevermind that he's a high school drop out and they don't give SAT tests in Iowa)
He's an "expert" diver and swimmer (was on the team) yet won't go near water - now has a "phobia" about it. The BS goes on and on. I'd have to dig up old files for the more far-fetched parts.
What's scary is the way he treats the dog and the rage he displayed towards me when I complained. I've always strained at giving him the benefit of the doubt but now I'm questioning everything.
My daughter seems to be trapped and committed. I may call in a psychologist for an intervention. (not for me, but for him) My life is over. I wish I could step into a disintegration chamber.
I wish I weren't even part of the equation.
verne
Posted by Declan on May 8, 2007, at 17:40:06
In reply to Re: Dog Situation » teejay, posted by verne on May 8, 2007, at 7:22:12
The disintegration chamber we are in is just so very inneficient.
Posted by tealady on May 8, 2007, at 19:18:25
In reply to Re: Dog Situation » teejay, posted by verne on May 8, 2007, at 7:22:12
Hey Verne, {{{Hugs}}}
Your life ain't over, there's always someday on the future when things will have changed with time, even new people you meet and spend a while with and really enjoy that time.It doesn't sound like my suggestion of offering to take the dog while they get their yard fixed up is worth it?.. or offering to help out build the fences, or better yet, if rich enough that money doesny count get someone else to build the fences! etc..so the dog gets freedom earlier, sigh.
Any chance of visiting you daighter by herself occasionally.. like a lunchtime meeting near her work?.. just suggestions
Posted by verne on May 9, 2007, at 10:15:27
In reply to Re: Dog Situation, posted by tealady on May 8, 2007, at 19:18:25
A mutual friend who sold them their house has talked with my daughter and son-in-law several times since the blow-up. He was very tight-lipped but from what I could gather, reading between the lines, any contact from me would not be welcome by either of them.
In fact, the vibe from my friend was that even our relationship has been damaged. When I asked about my daughter he was coy and evasive.
Besides, I don't want to be around someone who has more contact with my daughter than I do. It's like he will always have something over on me. I'll want to ask about my daughter and son-in-law and he'll be unable to tell me anything.
This leaves me with no real-life friends and no family except for a sister in Pittsburgh. She said I can move in with her. She has a huge family but most have left the nest.
But I'm in no shape to travel or make a big move. I'm thinking May 2009 at the earliest. There's so much I can do where I'm at. I have a great house, big enclosed yard, and I'm only two blocks from the county park with miles of trails. (my daughter uses a different park to walk the dog)
I guess it might be awkward if I run into my daughter or son-in-law. I'm not holding a grudge but I don't think I should even say hello if I do encounter them.
This experience may be a blessing, an opportunity to turn my attention to spiritual interests, the Borderline Skills Manual, egoscue exercises, meditation, and journaling - to name a few.
If I quit drinking for a long time (months, years?) anything is possible.
Verne
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