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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 41 to 65 of 86. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on July 18, 2008, at 15:48:31
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2008, at 15:34:48
> Believe it or not, I used to be quite the windmill tilter. And when I donned my cape and picked up my lance, I might have skirted close to the edge of a line or two to protect the innocent and post on the side of righteousness.
Ah, windmill tilting....
> I suppose it's true that PMS and bad days could contribute to our deputizing.
Totally kidding about all of those things I listed. Totally kidding. Just a monkey brain let loose for a bit to associate.
> I hope my reflections weren't hurtful to you.
Heavens, no, not at all. I have a great deal of trust in our relationship and communication. :)
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on July 18, 2008, at 15:52:54
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 18, 2008, at 15:37:39
I'm not sure that Babble has ever completely recovered from the hacking incident. It seemed there was a noticeable slow down in posting afterward, understandably. And that never seemed to pick back up to pre-hacking levels, though I've not looked at stats to test my perception.
gg
Posted by Amigan on July 18, 2008, at 16:00:44
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? Definately » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2008, at 12:19:27
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2008, at 16:04:42
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2008, at 15:48:22
Never mind. Forgive my interjection. I didn't mean to stifle comment on the possible harm of deputy involvement.
I'm off to a nice family outing.
Posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 17:50:28
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 18, 2008, at 15:37:39
I don't understand this either or that question, many have expressed several ideas. It isn't just one or two reasons. Why are you asking this anyway?
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 18, 2008, at 17:55:19
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? » llurpsienoodle, posted by Lemonaide on July 18, 2008, at 17:50:28
I never meant to imply that diminished posting could be the result of one or two reasons. It's multi-faceted, like any decision. Sorry if I implied a dichotomy
-Ll
Posted by rskontos on July 18, 2008, at 21:35:48
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? » wishingstar, posted by obsidian on July 17, 2008, at 20:55:13
Obsidian,
I too, feel that sense of not belonging. I have a real sense of disconnectness to the world in general and lately it has filtered over to Babble. I read, but not even that as often.
I feel like what I have to say isn't worth the effort. And sometimes I feel like I am entering a conversation where I am not wanted. You know, like you are easedropping and should just stay out of. So I do.
And lately I just can't really find my voice. It isn't as moving to post lately.
rsk
Posted by obsidian on July 18, 2008, at 22:48:06
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2008, at 16:04:42
I don't think it's about deputy involvement, but more about the rules
they are pretty black and white despite being reasonable and civil
Posted by obsidian on July 18, 2008, at 22:52:00
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? » obsidian, posted by rskontos on July 18, 2008, at 21:35:48
yeah, I think I know what you mean
Posted by obsidian on July 18, 2008, at 22:54:16
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 18, 2008, at 15:37:39
from disengagement...it's a natural survival mechanism
to give up trying to engage
Posted by AbbieNormal on July 19, 2008, at 6:37:38
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? » llurpsienoodle, posted by obsidian on July 18, 2008, at 22:54:16
> from disengagement...it's a natural survival mechanism
> to give up trying to engageAgreed. I think people have backed off and disappeared over the years for emotional protection. I've been hurt, seen others hurt too many times. For me, in the end the benefits have not out wieghed the harm.
The rules put babble on the endangered species list long ago.
Abbie
Posted by Lou PIlder on July 19, 2008, at 6:55:34
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup, posted by AbbieNormal on July 19, 2008, at 6:37:38
> > from disengagement...it's a natural survival mechanism
> > to give up trying to engage
>
> Agreed. I think people have backed off and disappeared over the years for emotional protection. I've been hurt, seen others hurt too many times. For me, in the end the benefits have not out wieghed the harm.
>
> The rules put babble on the endangered species list long ago.
>
> Abbie
>
>
> Abbie,
You wrote,[...The rules...long ago...]
Could you elaborate on that? If you could, then I could respond accordingly.
Lou
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 19, 2008, at 7:31:44
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 18, 2008, at 15:37:39
I have invested enough emotional energy and certainly TIME to wish babble to continue. I understand that any community evolves over time, but I have an uneasy sense that things are slowly winding down here in babble land.
Maybe something that we could try harder at is providing newcomers with the information and support that will encourage them to return to check their replies and give us updates; perhaps they will even choose to get involved in others' threads.
Posted by sdb on July 19, 2008, at 12:55:10
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying?, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 19, 2008, at 7:31:44
hmm i didn't follow what is going on here. probably babble needs a synchronized cardioversion. the problem for me is that I see many people having much more knowledge than I have, especially concerning personal experience. My data is actually only on an experimental basis and from what I see sometimes.
that dr.bob needs a break from time to time is fully understandable for me. i guess that in real life he treats patients plus he's probably having something else.
i wish everyone well
Posted by Dena on July 19, 2008, at 13:43:34
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup, posted by AbbieNormal on July 19, 2008, at 6:37:38
[opinion alert] I totally agree with those who say that arbitrary rules (which create a Parent/Child atmosphere), have killed natural relationships and communication. It's stifling, squelching, and utterly un-authentic.
I left a long time ago -- this was my first-ever online community, and I thought this was just the way it was ('course, I was then in an uber-controlling church, so I was under many delusions at the time).
I discovered that this is NOT the way that most forums function -- where there is freedom, mutual resepct, and where each one is considered to having something of value to be shared, the sharing happens freely. Sure, there can be moderators ("deputies" sounds far too punitive to me, being associated with "sherrifs" and those who enforce the Law, by force if necessary), who can kindly and relationally remind others of the basics (like, treat others the way you want to be treated).
The more people are constrained by rules, the less free they are. When each one is responsible to self-regulate, it happens ... rather uncanny, but real.
When the general expectation is that people will operate out of good-will, folks generally rise to meet that expectation... again, uncanny, and beautiful to experience.
I only returned to help out a friend here ... it saddens me to see so many people here walking on eggshells, and only experiencing a sense of pseudo-community. How can people share from their hearts, and learn how to do so in a way that's considerate of others, if they're censored, squelched, and reprimanded during the learning process?
Sigh... controlling environments do damage. May we each find a place in which to share our hearts, be heard, be understood, be accepted, and to do the same for others -- guided by inner good-will, rather than by external restrictions.
If honest relationships are built, healthy boundaries are natural, and rules are unnecessary.
But rules will never foster honest relationships... only a hierarchy.[/end of opinion alert]
Shalom, Dena
"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
unquestioned answers.""We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West"Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
being up to something.""Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."
"While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
swallow all that we taste."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by fayeroe on July 19, 2008, at 15:28:35
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup » AbbieNormal, posted by Dena on July 19, 2008, at 13:43:34
I've been on a forum where "moderators" are helping out and I agree that "deputies" has the ring of "law enforcement" to me.
Not that I am put off by law officers but I am uncomfortable around people who monitor my thoughts and feelings and give me PBCs when sometimes I don't even know how I was "uncivil".
I've already had a mother who pretty much governed how I expressed my thoughts and feelings and it wasn't all that much fun.
Good post, Dena
Pat
Posted by Zeba on July 19, 2008, at 18:19:33
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup » AbbieNormal, posted by Dena on July 19, 2008, at 13:43:34
Very well said, Dena. I only post about meds anymore as I don't feel comfortable anymore posting about other things like therapy. I hardly looke at babble anymore, and I used to be pretty active under another name. But I have lost my incentive to post about it. It just seems too personal anymore.
Zeba
Posted by Dena on July 19, 2008, at 19:20:46
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup » Dena, posted by Zeba on July 19, 2008, at 18:19:33
Thanks, Pat & Zeba... I say it like I see it.
It's a shame, because this forum has so much potential... and I wonder, is it because many of us have had mental/emotional/psychological issues...? Are we treated as 'children' because of our struggles?
I see that everyone on the planet is wounded to various degrees. NONE of us got the unconditional love and complete acceptance we were created to need... and so we've all self-medicated in a plethora of ways.
But, we're no more damaged than anyone else -- perhaps we're even among the more blessed? I mean, some folks go through their whole lifetime, not even knowing they're living diminished lives. Those of us who had issues which loomed-large enough to get our attention are blessed -- for then we know something's amiss, and we can seek healing.
May we all find the freedom that comes from healing!
Shalom, Dena
"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
unquestioned answers.""We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West"Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
being up to something.""Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."
"While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
swallow all that we taste."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by Sigismund on July 19, 2008, at 21:36:27
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup, posted by Dena on July 19, 2008, at 19:20:46
People here have been uncommonly nice and gracious to me.
Sometimes (for whatever reason, misunderstanding being an important one) people really hurt each other.
I suppose the civility rules are there to help with that. If they are, it's a bit much to ask that rules should be able to do that. And we all get very good (maybe too good?) at reading between the lines.
Sometimes I think that everyone gets sick of each other after long enough, and we need a new batch of people who haven't yet had enough of each other.
Posted by Justherself54 on July 19, 2008, at 22:47:04
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup, posted by Sigismund on July 19, 2008, at 21:36:27
If it's not dying, it's certainly in trouble. I'm concerned about the amount of thread hijacking which turns into personal bickering. Not good for newcomers. I pretty much stay on the med board but don't participate very much anymore. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe there isn't one at this point.
Posted by Bobby on July 20, 2008, at 0:22:47
In reply to Is Babble Dying?, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 17, 2008, at 7:34:58
I can't speak for anyone else--but there a few things that have precipitated my absence. I guess that first--I should start with a positive. I am trying to break out of the box and live more-away from the screen---just because I'm able at the moment. Feel like I've lost so much time over the last 10 years. Maybe it's trying too hard to make up all at once----but I don't think that qualifies as a reason not to strive for it.
Another major factor is that it's really frustrating to invest yourself in developing relationships(I'd like to call them friendships) only to have a poster just up and change their posting names and then-under their new name/names-want to be all "buddy buddy" --as if nothing happened. they know all about you--but now you have no idea who they are --or used to be. That's one reason I have a tendancy to shy away from some "Newcomers." I suppose there's some fancy scientific name or diagnosis that explains it perfectly--but that doesn't change the bottom line.
Then--there is the polarizing of the community--you're on my side or theirs. Perhaps it's a new trend of sorts---seems the same in USA politics---the Country appears to be splitting apart over various issues in black or white. The gray areas have melted faster than any Glacier under global warming. Man! It's either the Moral Majority or the ACLU.
I'll not pollute this forum with too much venom--I'll try to get off of my Pulpit--but I must end with one last thing that I don't have the capacity to relate to like maybe I should---however--a lot of people here are so hypersensitive! "oh my God! you said the word "the" or "it"--"How dare you!" --"Can't you see that triggers me or upsets my little world!? Henceforth---they will go on a crusade to strike out any essence of free speach. "I'm telling mommy!" I'm sure that there are valid points somewhere in the maze that is babble----but I'm probably too callous to recognize them at this point--and to some of you ----I'm sorry--I don't hate anyone--but crap! If you know something will bother you --just say no! Don't read the dang post! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Babble appears to have become just another newsstation with orders from upstairs to "only report the good news." I remember when Babble was more open, spontaneous, friendly, accepting and a poster had much more freedom to speak their mind---as long as they were civil---and I mean as in nonviolent. Just check the Archives-of say--Sar. Now civil has become a synonym for "politically correct." We have been torn asunder by special interest groups.
BUT--where there is life--there is hope---and maybe a good discussion--with open dialog--can heal enough wounds to breath some life back into the community. As mentioned beforehand---that's just me and I swear no allegiance to any one party. Thank's to Lurpsie for starting this thread--I think communication is good. thanks to anyone who's finished this hogwash and Best wishes to all. the end
Posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 1:25:50
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? Just me, posted by Bobby on July 20, 2008, at 0:22:47
I've been here since 2002 and there's always talk like this. I HAVE seen a big turnover since I started posting, but maybe that's normal. Maybe people grow out of babble. Maybe there were a select few who gave babble a certain feel and now they are gone. And like someone else said, now there are many more sites like this than at the beginning, so it stands to reason things will thin out. I think its a lot of small factors that contribute to this feeling, but I don't think babble is dying. I think its just evolving.
As for the feeling of not belonging and clicks, I remember that being said many times in the past too. I also remember feeling that way when I first started posting, but that changed for me eventually. Maybe its just the normal dynamics of a chat room like this.
As for people being ridiculed, that's deplorable. It only takes a few bad apples (or sometimes even one) to make a whole lot of people feel bad. I don't like seeing people being picked on or ridiculed, and if that's going on it needs to be addressed by the deputies and/or Bob. So maybe Bob's less prominent presence does have something to do with that.
-T
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 20, 2008, at 7:28:21
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? Just me, posted by Bobby on July 20, 2008, at 0:22:47
>Thank's to Lurpsie for starting this thread--I think communication is good. thanks to anyone who's finished this hogwash and Best wishes to all. the end
Thank YOU Bobby. I have been very worried that I started a firestorm over here on admin. I was concerned that I started something that will only add fuel to the fire. Maybe that's so, but I hope it won't escalate past the point of being useful dialog.
I can't remember the last time I started a thread over here. Sadly, I lack the analytical skills and perceptiveness to dissect the real issues behind the loss of so many wonderful posters--- real people, real characters.
-Ll
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 20, 2008, at 7:35:48
In reply to Things are shifting, posted by banana on July 20, 2008, at 5:46:42
Lacking the wherewithal to comment on Dr. Bob's psychology... I only submit the following reasons why some posters cease posting.
1) boredom. Once the med or therapy questions have been answered, there seems to be little reason to "hang out". When I get bored here, I try to be a little proactive and spice things up. Of course most of my efforts are failures, but at least I tried.
2) feeling better. One of the most prominent human tendencies is to run far and fast away from pain. Once the meds kick in, the job settles down, the relationships smooth out, the therapy is progressing appropriately-- why stick around? It might only remind one of the pain of adjustment, of transition. The reason why many folks seek out babble is because they are in pain, suffering for some biopsychosocial (political?) reason. Once that issue is resolved-- then what? Oh to be a Pollyanna and to proclaim- the death of babble is due to the success of modern psychiatry/psychotherapy... Wouldn't that be a panacea?
-Ll
Posted by Quintal on July 20, 2008, at 10:57:25
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? Just me, posted by TexasChic on July 20, 2008, at 1:25:50
>As for people being ridiculed, that's deplorable. It only takes a few bad apples (or sometimes even one) to make a whole lot of people feel bad. I don't like seeing people being picked on or ridiculed, and if that's going on it needs to be addressed by the deputies and/or Bob. So maybe Bob's less prominent presence does have something to do with that.
One of the problems I've seen is that people don't stop bullying because of the civility guidelines. They either go away or learn a more subtle form of bullying that doesn't *technically* violate the civility guidelines. This has come to be known as 'flying under the radar' or 'stealth' posting, and a lot of people have got it down to an art. I find this particulalry troubling when new posters respond to a taunt with an honest, emotional outburst and get blocked. There are posts on record where an individual (who no longer posts) has admitted to doing this as a kind of sport. This might be one reason why newcomers tend not to hang around/ survive for long these days. Like fresh meat round vultures, they get picked off.
Q
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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