Posted by Dena on July 19, 2008, at 13:43:34
In reply to Re: Is Babble Dying? yup, posted by AbbieNormal on July 19, 2008, at 6:37:38
[opinion alert] I totally agree with those who say that arbitrary rules (which create a Parent/Child atmosphere), have killed natural relationships and communication. It's stifling, squelching, and utterly un-authentic.
I left a long time ago -- this was my first-ever online community, and I thought this was just the way it was ('course, I was then in an uber-controlling church, so I was under many delusions at the time).
I discovered that this is NOT the way that most forums function -- where there is freedom, mutual resepct, and where each one is considered to having something of value to be shared, the sharing happens freely. Sure, there can be moderators ("deputies" sounds far too punitive to me, being associated with "sherrifs" and those who enforce the Law, by force if necessary), who can kindly and relationally remind others of the basics (like, treat others the way you want to be treated).
The more people are constrained by rules, the less free they are. When each one is responsible to self-regulate, it happens ... rather uncanny, but real.
When the general expectation is that people will operate out of good-will, folks generally rise to meet that expectation... again, uncanny, and beautiful to experience.
I only returned to help out a friend here ... it saddens me to see so many people here walking on eggshells, and only experiencing a sense of pseudo-community. How can people share from their hearts, and learn how to do so in a way that's considerate of others, if they're censored, squelched, and reprimanded during the learning process?
Sigh... controlling environments do damage. May we each find a place in which to share our hearts, be heard, be understood, be accepted, and to do the same for others -- guided by inner good-will, rather than by external restrictions.
If honest relationships are built, healthy boundaries are natural, and rules are unnecessary.
But rules will never foster honest relationships... only a hierarchy.[/end of opinion alert]
Shalom, Dena
"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
unquestioned answers.""We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West"Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
being up to something.""Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."
"While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
swallow all that we taste."
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poster:Dena
thread:840132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080719/msgs/840788.html