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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tomatheus on August 8, 2006, at 17:05:39
In reply to Re: please be civil » kylenn » Tomatheus, posted by Dr. Bob on August 8, 2006, at 10:18:08
Dr. Bob,
I fail to see how anything I wrote was uncivil/incivil, but maybe I'm missing something. I also find it absurd that you only quoted *one* line from Kylenn's posts that appeared to put others down and then lumped it together with my so-called uncivil/incivil statement into a single PBC.
Doesn't the *number* of statements in a post that could lead others to feel put down or accused mean anything to you?
I hardly have the energy right now to get into a lengthy debate on the technicalities of civility on the Administration board.
So, go ahead and justify the way you went about giving this PBC in any way that you see fit.
I won't be writing any more responses here, though.
Tomatheus
> > in today's world, the HARDER you work, the MORE you support the lazy.
> >
> > kylenn
>
> > in all likelihood, you'll never see any of the harm that will probably result from your "lecture," much less do anything to help those who might be harmed.
> >
> > Tomatheus
>
> Please post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
>
> But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're bad people.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob
Posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 20:55:44
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Tomatheus on August 8, 2006, at 17:05:39
> I fail to see how anything I wrote was uncivil/incivil, but maybe I'm missing something.> in all likelihood, you'll never see any of the harm that will probably result from your "lecture," much less do anything to help those who might be harmed.
entails 'your lecture probably results in harm'
ouch.
entils 'you probably won't do anything to help those who might be harmed'
ouch.it can be hard to not respond to incivilities in kind. that is why... they tend to be considered 'incivil'. because they tend to result in defensiveness, lashing out, further incivility.
it is considered incivil to respond to incivilities in kind, however. why? because they tend to result in further defensiveness, lashing out, and further incivility.
so there can be an escalating cycle...
pbc's are supposed to be warnings so that everyone involved in the thread takes a deep breath and kind of regroups. if people continue in the same vein then blockings are imminent.
> I also find it absurd that you only quoted *one* line from Kylenn's posts that appeared to put others down and then lumped it together with my so-called uncivil/incivil statement into a single PBC.
economy of time. he quoted hers first and yours second. he saw that she posted hers first and yours was the response. the situation was starting to escalate and thus the both of you were warned.
> Doesn't the *number* of statements in a post that could lead others to feel put down or accused mean anything to you?if there is something particularly attacking then sometimes he will go straight in with a block (so long as the poster has a pbc somewhere in their history so their attention has been drawn to the faq). other than that... i think it is done on a post by post basis, though could be wrong.
is it that you think she deserves more punishment than you do?
i think bob might be more interested in preventing the process of escalation rather than assigning blame. people choose to post and some people choose to post incivilities. we are responsible for what we post *regardless* of what another poster has posted before.
i'm just glad nobody got blocked :-)
> I won't be writing any more responses here, though.
:-(
i'll be sorry to see you go :-(i remember... i felt really very bad and upset when i got my first pbc. really very bad. it was something of a shock. it is just a warning to be careful on that thread. and an encouragement to read the faq and try and understand *why* you got the warning.
an upside is... if someone posted what you posted and they directed it to you... they would probably be warned as well.
it is about trying to keep a supportive atmosphere.
Posted by mayzee on August 8, 2006, at 23:15:01
In reply to Re: please be civil » Tomatheus, posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 20:55:44
>
> economy of time. he quoted hers first and yours second. he saw that she posted hers first and yours was the response. the situation was starting to escalate and thus the both of you were warned.
>I was confused about that. Were both posters warned? I only saw the one warning to Tomatheus.
Posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 23:23:41
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by mayzee on August 8, 2006, at 23:15:01
> Were both posters warned? I only saw the one warning to Tomatheus.
Yeah, it was directed to both of them:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20060610/msgs/674815.html
Tomatheus... I'm sorry if my above post wasn't helpful. I was trying to be helpful, but sometimes I miss the mark... I was trying to explain the PBC genuinely... And I understand how hurtful they can be. Take what helps leave the rest is my motto. If it wasn't helpful then feel free to ignore it. It was of course my interpretation as well. I could be off...
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 9, 2006, at 0:22:16
In reply to Re: please be civil » Tomatheus, posted by Estella on August 8, 2006, at 20:55:44
Posted by Deneb on August 9, 2006, at 0:25:44
In reply to Re: thanks for explaining (nm) » Estella, posted by Dr. Bob on August 9, 2006, at 0:22:16
Dr. Bob, thanks for thanking Estella
(((((((((((Dr. Bob)))))))))))
Deneb*
Posted by 10derHeart on August 9, 2006, at 1:59:39
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by mayzee on August 8, 2006, at 23:15:01
Take another look at the subject line of the PBC. Dr. Bob includes both posters' names, meaning he is asking them both to be civil on this thread, and then gives an example to each poster of something they wrote that could lead others to feel 'accused or put down.'
Make sense? Easy to miss that :-)
Posted by mayzee on August 9, 2006, at 19:43:49
In reply to Subject line of PBCs » mayzee, posted by 10derHeart on August 9, 2006, at 1:59:39
> Take another look at the subject line of the PBC. Dr. Bob includes both posters' names, meaning he is asking them both to be civil on this thread, and then gives an example to each poster of something they wrote that could lead others to feel 'accused or put down.'
>
> Make sense? Easy to miss that :-)
Thanks. Yes it makes sense. And yes, I missed it!
Posted by Tomatheus on August 25, 2006, at 18:28:11
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Tomatheus on August 8, 2006, at 17:05:39
Babblers,
I'd like to apologize for prematurely exiting Psycho-Babble in the way that I did. It was obviously shortsighted of me to claim that nothing in my post to Kylenn was incivil, and I regret making such a claim.
The civility guidelines on this site (and what I perceive to be the sometimes inconsistent enforcement thereof) frustrate me at times. I seem to naturally have more difficulty formulating and expressing my thoughts than most people I know -- especially when I'm unmedicated or taking meds that don't help my psychiatric condition -- and I think that the civility guidelines here only add to that difficulty. Sometimes I feel like the only way I can safely respond to a post that frustrates me is by saying "I feel offended by your post," or perhaps by asking a few questions of the poster. As a result, I think I come across as being terribly offended by everything and afraid of "hard facts" when that really isn't the case at all. I'm a firm believer in the notion that ignorance is not bliss, and I think that the civility guidelines on this board perpetuate ignorance to some extent by discouraging us from posting accurate and helpful (but also potentially incivil) information.
But having said the things that I've said, I will point out that this obviously is not my site. It's Dr. Bob's site, and he's entitled to impose whatever regulations he sees fit (assuming, of course, that these "regulations" are legal). I don't agree with all of the rules here. However, I do think that some rules are necessary to keep the conversations here civil, so I understand why the rules are in place. I also understand that even though it's frustrating to Babblers like me that the board's policies aren't always enforced consistently, Dr. Bob and their deputies do have lives outside Babble (at least I think they do). As far as I know, nobody gets paid anything to moderate the messages on this board, and I appreciate the fact that others voluntarily take time out of their schedules to help keep things civil around here. I know that Dr. Bob and/or the deputies can't be expected to read every single message that gets posted on these boards (especially right after the messages are posted), so I think it's understandable that there's some inconsistency in the enforcement of the site's guidelines.
Despite the fact that I sometimes feel frustrated by the Babble civility guidelines and the way that they're sometimes enforced, I am in complete agreement with the mission of this site, which is to foster mutual support and education among individuals suffering from psychiatric illnesses and other related disturbances. As always, I'll continue to do my best to abide by the rules, but I won't let a few minor disagreements get in the way of (hopefully) helping others on this board -- and possibly receiving some help, as well.
It's time for me to get back to posting on more of a regular basis.
Tomatheus
Posted by gardenergirl on August 25, 2006, at 22:25:02
In reply to Posting again, posted by Tomatheus on August 25, 2006, at 18:28:11
Thank you.
I'm glad you're back.
gg
Posted by Tomatheus on August 25, 2006, at 22:28:08
In reply to Re: Posting again » Tomatheus, posted by gardenergirl on August 25, 2006, at 22:25:02
Posted by muffled on August 25, 2006, at 23:58:11
In reply to Posting again, posted by Tomatheus on August 25, 2006, at 18:28:11
Posted by Tomatheus on August 26, 2006, at 9:27:26
In reply to Wow. Fantastic post. (nm) » Tomatheus, posted by muffled on August 25, 2006, at 23:58:11
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 27, 2006, at 1:19:34
In reply to Posting again, posted by Tomatheus on August 25, 2006, at 18:28:11
Posted by finelinebob on August 27, 2006, at 3:55:48
In reply to Posting again, posted by Tomatheus on August 25, 2006, at 18:28:11
I was going ot say lots of stuff about why, but your post speaks for itself.
Great post =^)
This is the end of the thread.
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