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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:34:01
In reply to Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 3, 2013, at 6:14:43
I was even diagnosed hypochondriac about my mental health once. Maybe there is something to it.
Can you think of a better (or worse) idea for a hypochondriac than mental illness? There is no test for it, no certainty over wether or not it is really there.
So i can go on and have all the symptoms in the world. Nobody can look into my brain and tell.
Im kinda in despair.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:35:49
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:34:01
Sometimes belief in your illness is helpful. Sometimes, maybe in my case, belief in my sanity is more helpful. And more realistic.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:50:17
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:35:49
It is not helpful to me to believe in my insanity at all. And maybe, just maybe its a big hoax stemming from hypochondrism and failure of the Dr.
I already diagnosed myself with depression long before i met a dr about it.
Idk really. In a way i think we all are god, but not god himself.
I just want to investigate the idea.
Speaking of hypochondriac, i thought i had heart disease once.. i pushed my blood pressure up to 190 just out of anxiety i ate something wrong, which it turned out i didnt. 10 minutes in the hospital after speaking to the doc, BP was back to normal. If i can do circus like tricks with my BP, maybe i can do it with my mental health as well.
I think im fine really, just very stressed out and uptight.
I dont know but i do think its very possible.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:00:22
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:50:17
There is something about me, that just doesnt feel insane at all. I try to hold onto that as hard as i can.
How could a belief to be broken be helpful?Maybe its only partially the psychiatric systhem to blame but my hypochondrism.
That would explain alot. That would explain why i only got sicker from it. The more i researched about depression and saw myself in that, the more depressed i was. Reading on this forum didnt help that either. Maybe it was plain and simple homesickness.
So i got depressed to the point where i took Nardil. And this whole story that is well documented here started.
I never had symtoms of lunacy before that.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:02:49
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:00:22
And maybe, in my case, i can really just "snap out of it".
Im not saying i dont work with my Dr, i just keep that in the back of my head.
If this is true, the Guiness record of hypochondriac belongs to me. Lol
See i didnt loose my humour.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:07:22
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:02:49
I certainly should tell this my Dr?
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:16:21
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:07:22
Jesus christ, that would actually make sense in alot of ways.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:28:16
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:16:21
Idk whats more embarassing. Being as ill as my records suggest i am or just making most of all of this stuff up.
Id say mental health profs are probably hypochondriac magnets, just as mentally ill are psychopath magnets.
I have seen mentally ill people, i dont think im one of them, really. Thats why im so freaking angry at them, meining MH professionals. I want an illness to hide behind, i get it.
Once a nurse in the locked ward said to me, no, yelled at me: Stop hiding behind diseases that dont even exist.
She didnt mean mental illness doesnt exist, she meant that my so called mental illness doesnt exist. And all the nurses there said stuff like that to me. They didnt buy it.That would mean psychiatry is not a cult, it would just mean i have nothing to do there.. and im only harming myself because they support my hypochondrism.
Sounds about right. I am thrilled what my doctor will say. Prolly "dont admit this to anyone you mind freak" or sth. Lol
Somebody help me, i feel like an idiot.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:30:11
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:28:16
Somebody say im intelligent again. Hahaha
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:36:01
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:30:11
Should i tell him? I will certainly talk about this with family membrers first.
Posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:30:11
> Somebody say im intelligent again. Hahaha
You are intelligent again.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130730/msgs/1048151.html
You need some sort of intervention.
Tell your doctors? I think it would be in your best interests. They are not there to hurt you or take away your intelligence and creativity. You will still be able to help the world.
I really don't care if you want me to post to you or not. I find it difficult to watch you headed in the direction of psychosis without trying to make you aware of it.
It is the nature of your illness that you will be resistant to treatment. Will you tell your doctors what you are thinking and feeling? Probably not.
- Scott
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 7:57:00
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
Scott, so what are you saying? Are you saying that my posts present intelligence but still are psychotic? Are you saying there is truth to it, but its still psychotic?
Just what is psychosis then? How can i have psychosis when im saying true things? I dont really know what you think of what i have written. And what exactly it is that makes you think im psychotic.
And what makes you think im intelligent or creative. Do you even think i am?
Psychosis is bad, intelligence good. Please elaborate!
I cant even really remember what i said exactly. Something about how Psychiatrists and partially society are doing harm in the world.
I think we do not quite understand eachother here. At least im unsure what to make of some of your posts.
Please elaborate.Im scared the doctor will punish me for what i think and feel during what you call psychosis.
How can i say intelligent things during psychosis. Isnt the nature of psychosis delusional and more related to extreme stupidity? And who decides whats real? Isnt that Gods job?
I want to come off Parnate, too. I dont like whats been going on at all. Especially that i need more APs than i used to. Any effect Parnate might have for mood and motivation are killed by AP anyway.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:05:12
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
Do you think i should tell him bout my hypochondriac theory? Think i should. Also, should i tell him what exactly i thought and said on friday? Hmmm.
I called it "flight of ideas" and "thoughts going on with or without my will". Is that enough, or tell him more.
I could tell my therapist, too. She could tell him. I trust therapists more than pdocs. Idk. I dont really remembber what i said, it was pretty outrageous and it was painful to think that way over people. Was it false? Idk. Have to read again. :S
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:12:26
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:05:12
How do you tell whats psychotic when you cant say that what im saying is false?
I dont get it. I want to get off Parnate for sure. My Dr told me to take it this morning:(
Please make me understand what youre saying, scott.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:23:44
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:12:26
It feels more like a rush of truth to me, that is painful to recieve. I dont want to have it in this type of way.
But id like to know what it is exactly that i said, that leads you to believe im psychotic.
Do i think i am god? Yes and no. Not THE ultimate god for sure. Do i have "some of god" in me. I think so. Do i think im eternal? Yes. I dont think that our souls just go to nothing when we die. Do i sometimes think i am more intuitive and knowing than i am? Yes. Do i get into a rush of "truth". Yeah. Do i think too lowly of people sometimes? Yes.
Do i generalize too much sometimes and try to explain society just by my own experiences and have trouble looking at it from a neutral perspective? Yes.Whats the "psychotic" here? If you say im psychotic, id like to know what statements specifically you are refering to. Its not like i write pure BS when you say i am psychotic,
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:35:27
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
Is everyone that questions Psychiatry or his illness psychotic? You cant just say "you are psychotic". I may make psychotic assumptions or statements, but i am Julian, not psychotic.
Im interested to hear what specifically you are talking about.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:45:57
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:35:27
Interesting that you dont want to answer my questions. Maybe because you realize there is no reasonable grounds for you to call me psychotic?
Fun fact, scott. By my knowledge, you are not a doctor so you are not in a position to diagnose anything or anyone!
There is a certain human rights thing called freedom of thought, that many Psychiatrists and submissive patients like yourself dont like at all. Probably all of the people that fight and stand up for this right are psychotic as well, huh?
Dude, you just dont want to or can not receive what i say and consider the possibility that there is truth to it, because you are saturated by Psychiatric philosphy. Or should i say anti-philosophy? Anyway. Thats why you just discard what i say as psychosis.
I believe i am eternal. I believe we all are. I believe i am partially god, in the sense that we are made in the image of god and carry a "godly sparkle", that you can feel sometimes more, sometimes less. I dont really worry much about anything because i trust in God to take care of my soul. He will neither send me through needless suffering nor will he let me down. If he needs me to learn a lesson and it isnt possible without suffering, well then i have to go through that.
Another fun fact: I never had anything close to "psychosis" before i went to see the psychiatrist. I didnt have repeated thoughts that are bothering me, nothing really. I sat at the computer and used forums just like this one to find me a reason not to proceed with my life and get caught up by healing my "broken mind".
I had my diagnosis "straight" month before i saw the Psychiatrist. I self diagnosed. I tend to be a hypochondriac. I have catapulted myself into the Psychiatry world with a strong drug that i thought i needed because my friends left the USA and because reading about depression and other illnesses MADE me ill. This strong drug kicked off a rollercoaster of undesirable states of mind and outcomes.I will never know wether it is a real illness i inherently have unless i try to get away from Psychiatry and its grips.
Another fun fact: Antipsychotics have something called "discontinuation psychosis" as a side effect. Which is funny when you think they are supposed to heal you. The Psychiatrist doesnt want to give me Lorazepam because it is addicting. Of course all the other Psychiatric drugs and Psychiatric philosophy is not addicting at all. I dont need to worry about a thing right?
Only one time i tried to get off of Zyprexa i had a medically significant loss of reality. I had about 8 beers that night. It just may be that Psychiatry and its teachings have saturated my brain so much that i just hypochondriaced my way into this. Or it could well be that i had a mixture of alcohol induced Psychosis and discontinuation psychosis.With panic attacks it is said that the body doesnt produce that much adrenaline forever. When its exausted its over. Why should this not be the case with Dopamine?
Why should i have any mental illness at all? Out of nowhere? The pot that psychiatrists like to use as a scapegoat, i stopped smoking it 3 years before i took Nardil and many other drugs and subsequently got very ill.
It is ridiculous.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:53:07
In reply to You are not doctors., posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:45:57
They have discontinuation psychosis as a side effect. But they are not addicting at all. Because hey, its not a drug right?
I am the last person not to take my 300 mgs of Seroquel if i suffer too much otherwise. But i will always think that Psychiatry made me either ill or addicted enough so i have to take it.
Probably both. Thats something i want to change.But hey of course, it is part of my illness that i want to discontinue and resent treatment. Everything that Psychiatry cant explain without revealing its true face is part of all our illnesses.
Im not saying Mental illness is not real, i wouldnt know. But i seriously consider the possibility that my illness is not real. It doesnt feel real. And if thats true, why shouldnt other peoples mental problems be basically a hoax as well.
But hey, Psychiatry longs to erase critical thinking. You shall not think that way IE psychotic. Freedom of thought, bro. Psychiatry openly takes a duce on it. Malicious.
I cant only be sure i am right if i try to go off of it. If im healthy then, well then i have just exposed my whole "medical" history as a f*ck*ng hoax.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 12:00:11
In reply to You are not doctors., posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:45:57
All the people that share my views are in need of treatment as well, right?
We all need the oh so altruistic treatment that we receive here and elsewhere. My friends who basically think the same way as i do..
We all need treatment.
Even if my hypochondriac theory is not true, it will give me some leverage against unnecessary high doses of DRUGS.
Everyone that says Medication is basically a liar. Part of psychiatrys ugly disguise.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 12:16:41
In reply to Re: You are not doctors., posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 12:00:11
Im the past, psychiatry did me just as much harm as good. TRUTH.
Posted by Tomatheus on August 5, 2013, at 13:24:00
In reply to Re: Psychosis or not: heres what i think now:, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:23:55
Hello again Lamdage,
I think (and agree with you) that choosing to avoid diagnosing yourself, at least for now, might be a good thing. If I were in your position, I'd probably try to focus on conveying your symptoms to your doctor -- telling your doctor about anything that you're experiencing that seems bothersome or out of the ordinary -- and then I'd let the doctor do the diagnosing. If your thoughts and feelings about possibly experiencing hypochondria have been consuming a lot of your time and energy, then maybe it would also be a good idea to let your doctor know about such thoughts and feelings. The more information you share with your doctor about what you're thinking, feeling, and otherwise experiencing, the better informed your doctor will be about what it is you're going through. Basically, I think that you'd be best served by giving your doctor as much accurate information as possible about what you've been going through so your doctor can make a fitting diagnosis and make treatment decisions that are in line with your individual needs.
As far as the Parnate that you're taking is concerned, I would take a hard look at both the pros and cons of taking the medication and also take into account comments that others have made concerning your behavior since you started taking the medication. Right now, I think that I would follow your doctor's orders concerning antidepressant treatment unless I found the side effects of the antidepressants in question to be absolutely intolerable. But I would also be sure to let your doctor know about any new problems that might have emerged since you started taking Parnate so your doctor could also know both the pros and the cons concerning your treatment with Parnate and consequently make well informed treatment decisions.
I think what I would want if I were hospitalized right now would be not only to get out of the hospital, but also (much more importantly) to get treatment that would reduce the likelihood that I'd reenter the hospital and would also position myself to be as successful and mentally healthy as possible upon leaving the hospital. Sometimes medication regimens just need to be given time before their long-term benefits become apparent, but there are also times when medication regimens need to be tweaked or even overhauled before the patient will have the stability and mental well being to be able to both leave the hospital and to succeed once out of the hospital. And psychosocial interventions can also play a role in getting patients to where they want to be as far as their mental states are concerned, so I would take advantage of those interventions, as well.
There of course is a chance that your doctors could be wrong in the diagnoses that they reach. It is often said that to err is to be human, but I think that at the same time it is important to keep in mind that most doctors have not only the training but also the experience to help them discern the differences between what madness is and what madness isn't. There of course is a possibility that if your doctors have diagnosed you with a psychotic disorder that they can be incorrect, but if your doctors and others seem to be telling you that you're experiencing signs of psychosis, then it might be best to regard what you're being told as feedback rather than criticism. Sometimes in getting feedback from others, we're able to see things about ourselves that we might not otherwise be able to see, and this can sometimes enable us to make positive changes. I don't think that this necessarily means that we should change everything about ourselves just because others don't like it, but I do think that getting feedback from others can sometimes be vital in helping us to shape ourselves into the individuals that we want ourselves to be.
At any rate, this message is getting long, so I'm going to end it now. I hope that you've found at least a little of what I've written to be of some help, but if you've found any of what I've written to be unhelpful, then feel free to disregard it. Please take care of yourself.
T.
Posted by Tomatheus on August 5, 2013, at 13:35:03
In reply to Re: You are not doctors., posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 12:16:41
> Im the past, psychiatry did me just as much harm as good. TRUTH.
I have no reason to doubt that what you're saying is true. I think that I too have been both helped and harmed by psychiatry, and I think that a lot of patients who have received psychiatric care would probably say something along the same lines. I think that in my case, it can be hard to say whether receiving psychiatric treatment has been more beneficial or more harmful. Psychiatric treatment definitely isn't without risks.
T.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 5:39:21
In reply to Re: You are not doctors. (harm vs. good) » Lamdage22, posted by Tomatheus on August 5, 2013, at 13:35:03
It feels almost like doctors want to teach me a lesson or do not want life to be too easy for me.
The Zyprexa KILLS any slim benifits Parnate might have for me. Now this guy comes up with that Zyprexa HELPS depression. What a f*ck*ng joke.
So basically, right now.. my doctor is slowing my healing process down. Alot.
I am 100% compliant with 300 Seroquel. I would like to take Lithium Orotate as well and i would like to take Tryptophan unless it causes unwanted effects as well. I dont think it would though. Clean serotonergic agents didnt do this for me.
I dont want to take an Ssri type drug because of the side effects. I dont like how i feel on them. It feels artificial. I would expect Tryptophan to be different and to be more mild in delaying orgasm.
I think that would be a combo that best serves me.
I hope to ONE time find a Pdoc that is supportive only, not laying stones in my way.
At least i dont think my current doctor is psychopathic like my last one.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 6:36:10
In reply to Re: You are not doctors. (harm vs. good), posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 5:39:21
Tomatheus, i think the most important role in keeping me stable and comfy is that i visit some kind of school, do some kind of job..
Even if its one without payment for now.There is a company that helps folks like me that have been out of work for some time because of mental difficulties.
I can even work in a sheltered workshop. Just so i have something to do. You know what i mean?
And ontop of that. Im looking to buy a Condo in my hometown where i grew up in. Most friends are here and we can do stuff and hang out you know?
No more homesickness.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 6:43:36
In reply to Protection against rehospitalization, posted by Lamdage22 on August 6, 2013, at 6:36:10
Im making major decisions right now.. I have to.
Its just life.. life leaves room for mistakes. I will check back with friends and family members about my decisions. Also with my Dr. and Psychologist.
Its gonna be alright. I need to do something NOW. Back into good social integration.
Besides im not psychotic in any way and feel pretty okay. I have been getting better. Only thing what pissed me off is the high dose of Seroquel and then when Parnate kicked in, it pissed me off, too.
But i have been planning before this, too. And just because i dont feel perfect, doesnt mean i cant do the right things for me.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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