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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:16:43
i need some assistance.
i'm not sure what to do.
i'm not sure if its all in my mind. if there really is this connection or not.
can anyone help me sort it out.it seems as though since i started buspar that i became very tired and lethargic. this turned into a lingering depression. mild but present.
last monday i wrote a note and left it for my pdoc at his office telling him this asking what i should do. i didnt hear from him.
this last week i noticed i started thinking more negative thoughts. like plans for suicide.
i will then sort of obsess on them, thinking out the benefits and the bad. the torrid disaster i would leave behind. i also think of a clean completion. then countering with incompletion and life altering effects.
each of these stir such strong emotions and increase my anxiety.
i am not sad all the time. i am obsession about my plan figuring out if its the right thing to do or not.
even though my logical mind KNOWS its not. i cant. my childrens lives would be ruined by me if i did this.but i dont know what to do.
could it be the buspar? is it something else? is it all psychological and not chemical? my pdoc is out of town all this week.
i wrote him another note on sat when i knew he would be in. i asked the secretary to Please give it to him.
i also made an appt but not till April 2.i slept most of yesterday. i was so aggitated with everyone. i cant seem to do anything right.
i am taking it day by day and sometimes hour by hour.**************************
i dont even know how to phrase my question.
so do i stop buspar? is that the culprit.
if so how do i stop it.
what do i do to get through the week...b2
Posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:40:06
In reply to Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:16:43
currently on:
pristiq 50mg
Adderall 20mg TID
Buspar 15mg TID
Perphenazine 2mg am 4mg pm
Gabapentin PRN 900mg - 2100 mg depending on anxiety
xanax PRN
Melatonin 5mg pm
was considering going back on zyprexa but i dont want to be on three AP's.
cant talk to pdoc till next monday.
am having hard time concentrating other than ruminating thoughts on SI.
feel like failure at all i do.
hard time working.b
Posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 8:41:06
In reply to Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:16:43
Why are you taking Buspar?
Is it helping?
What dosage?
How long at that dosage?
When did the lethargy first appear?
I don't know how to counsel you. The decision making process is probably more appropriately made in conjunction with your doctor.
Now, if it were me, and I had been on the increased dosage of Buspar for two weeks, I would discontinue Buspar as an experiment to see if the lethargy disappears. Withdrawal is usually not an issue with Buspar. If the lethargy dissipates, I would have my answer.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 8:53:08
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:40:06
Right now, what are the symptoms of your condition that are still present? If depression remains prominent, I would consider dropping the melatonin, adding Wellbutrin, and increasing the dose of Pristiq to 100 mg if you can tolerate it.
> currently on:
>
> pristiq 50mg
> Adderall 20mg TID
> Buspar 15mg TID
> Perphenazine 2mg am 4mg pm
> Gabapentin PRN 900mg - 2100 mg depending on anxiety
> xanax PRN
> Melatonin 5mg pm
>
>
> was considering going back on zyprexa but i dont want to be on three AP's.
> cant talk to pdoc till next monday.
> am having hard time concentrating other than ruminating thoughts on SI.
> feel like failure at all i do.
> hard time working.You are in a bad way right now. I'm sure you know that depression can be a clever liar. Yes, you FEEL like a failure. Following your posts, I don't see failure in you. YOU are not a failure. More aptly put, you have a catastrophic brain disorder that impairs your ability to function effectively. To try and fail is still a success. You are logically and bravely doing everything you can to attain the health that will allow you to function and enjoy life. You are still alive. You are a success, indeed.
- Scott
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 26, 2012, at 9:03:31
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:40:06
Call pdoc's office and tell secretary that it is urgent that you speak with him today. Make sure to use the word urgent. Letters may me too subtle. You need to talk with him now!
My own experience is that suicidal thoughts can be very chemically related. At different points in my illness, being on certain drugs (e.g. lithium) has decreased such thoughts for me. Of the other hand, getting off other drugs (Abilify) has made them return.
I hope this gets resolved quickly for you.
Best,
EE
Posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 9:46:41
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » B2chica, posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 8:53:08
why?
started buspar because of severe anxiety.is it helping?
yes it seems to be helping mostly, not completelydosage? how long at that
15mg TID since startup i think 3 weeksk? cant remember. bad memory.
maybe only 2.5 weekswhat are symptoms?
still have some residual anxiety
lethargy, or energy in forms of anger/frustration (severe)
thoughts of failure, fedup with trying.
feelings of "i am ready"and this lingering/overhang of heavyness in my head and arms.
i want to just go to bed and cover up.
dont want to interact/speak with anyone.
*********************************i will try stopping the melatonin as of tonight.
cant add wellbutrin doesn't work anymore for me. pooped out years ago, tried it again three years ago and nothing.
most ssri's i've tried.
i heard that going up on pristiq really doesn't help? is that not true?I may not be a failure but i'm sure tired of trying.
my brain just wants to sort of go to rest.
i feel like i fight everyday of my life and it will only continue. and the thought of doing that exhausts me.Scott you are important to me. i value your words. it makes me feel better knowing i have someone like you on my side.
i think i may need to leave work for a while today just to get out of my head a bit.is just being alive really that much of a success?
-b2c.
Posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2012, at 10:18:40
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » SLS, posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 9:46:41
To answer myself yes it is a success to be alive. And as EE said get that pdoc on the phone!!! Phillipa
Posted by Beckett on March 26, 2012, at 11:49:23
In reply to Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:16:43
B2c, the following is my opinion for what it's worth.
Seeing that this is could be, in part, seen as a resurgence of the last depressive episode. That you have not fully recovered.
Maybe boost that pristiq up. Something to get you out of the depression zone. Let your pdoc know you need depression help now. I was reading pristiq being prescribed over 100 mg and being effective....
I know anxiety has been your bear, but this depression now seems to be eating you....
I agree with EE. Call and say URGENT (!).
I am not familiar with the AAP's you have on board right now, but wasn't zyprexa your go-to med?
Is now the time to pull it out if it means dropping other stuff?
SI thoughts signal an emergency situation. They are you telling yourself something critically important.
Update, okay?
Posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 12:53:14
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » B2chica, posted by Beckett on March 26, 2012, at 11:49:23
i am willing to get back on zyprexa.
better fat then dead. or fighting death every day.
i wrote that in my last note to him.
but i wonder if he even gets them.i didnt know how to get back on it since i'm on two AP already. do i wean off buspar and just wait to see if i get better? do i load up now? do i do both at same time?
i cant even decide if i should get up and go pee, let alone decide on meds...and order..
i just cant.thanks
b
Posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 14:18:30
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » Beckett, posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 12:53:14
> i am willing to get back on zyprexa.
> better fat then dead. or fighting death every day.
> i wrote that in my last note to him.
> but i wonder if he even gets them.
>
> i didnt know how to get back on it since i'm on two AP already. do i wean off buspar and just wait to see if i get better? do i load up now? do i do both at same time?
> i cant even decide if i should get up and go pee, let alone decide on meds...and order..
> i just cant.
It would be ideal if you were able to speak to your doctor about this stuff. I doubt that Buspar is making your depression worse. It might be adding to lethargy and malaise, though. If you are in crisis and unable to contact your doctor, you might consider adding the Zyprexa now and not worrying about the Buspar. I don't think Buspar can be considered a neuroleptic antipsychotic, despite its reputation for blocking DA receptors. Besides, treatment with two antipsychotics is fairly common. I doubt the doctor would be too angry with you for your attempting to save your own life.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 14:21:30
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 14:18:30
I would view your use of Zyprexa at this juncture to be palliative and to act as a temporary bridge until your treatment can be optimized. Any weight gain you experience will be equally temporary.
- Scott
Posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 14:25:41
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 14:21:30
i txt'd pdoc and hoping he will respond tonight.
if not should i stop the buspar?
or do i just add zyprexa to everything.
i'm on perphenazine as well.thanks for any help Scott.
thank you.
b
Posted by Beckett on March 26, 2012, at 14:52:29
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » Beckett, posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 12:53:14
Hey B2c,
I am not familiar with your other AAP, so I read wiki, then ran it through the online drug checker with zyprexa. It came out with a moderate caution. You can check with your pharmacist if you can't reach your doc. Here's the drug check link http://www.drugs.com/drug-interactions/trilafon-with-zyprexa-1832-4643-1744-1113.html
I guess I agree with Scott about taking palliative measures through the weekend--that is if you cannot reach your doc.
Posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 15:00:46
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » SLS, posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 14:25:41
> i txt'd pdoc and hoping he will respond tonight.
> if not should i stop the buspar?
> or do i just add zyprexa to everything.
> i'm on perphenazine as well.I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were taking perphenazine. That really doesn't change things, though. You can still keep the Buspar if you want. That is really to be a judgment call for you to make.
I would still add the Zyprexa now and worry about tweaking your treatment later.
Didn't you say that Buspar was helping with anxiety?
What exactly do you suspect Buspar is doing to you adversely?
By the way, what are your current diagnoses? Is there any bipolar stuff going on in your family?
This is a very bad time for you. You will survive it, though, and it will pass.
You have very real things to have to deal with in life. It is normal that you would be distressed over them. However, you have an illness of the brain that creates an altered state of consciousness. In this state, the negative is exaggerated and the positive is muted. Things that seem manageable in a healthy state of mind are deemed catastrophic and refractory to remedy by someone suffering from MDD or BD.
- Scott
Posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 15:16:52
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » b2chica, posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 15:00:46
i know the zyprexa helps big with anxiety so i wouldnt need the buspar if takng zyprexa.
the buspar is helping with anxiety but i think it's worsening depression. i seemed ok or at least only mildly depressed before starting buspar.my Dx changes. its been Bipolar II, psychotic depression and MDD, i say aggitated depression as my "bipolar highs'" arent euphoric. normally aggitation, anger, frustration to yelling and wanting to hurt myself.
when my depression is bad (like i think its starting to) i get some auditory and visual illusions. just about 20min ago i was out for a walk and started tocross a street and had a visual that i got hit by a bus and my mangled body was dragged and torn apart. that shocked me and i almost fell down do to that interruption.
so i know my depression is starting to get bad. i dont have any auditory illusions/halucinations yet so that's good.the only family history that i know of is my Grandmother's sister shot herself. (i only found that out a few years ago) nobody talks about anything in my family. i was suprised i even found that out. but i dont know any details.
*******************************
right now i'm doping up on gabapentin. its making me a little loopy and tired so i dont act on any impulsive thoughts.
but i keep obsessing on the torrid disaster i would leave behind and i have to keep reminding myself that it DOESN'T HAVE to be that way.
im just kinda scared and dont know who to go to.
i have my pdoc appt April 2.thanks for the kind words Scott.
b2c.
Posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 15:28:58
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 15:16:52
> the buspar is helping with anxiety but i think it's worsening depression. i seemed ok or at least only mildly depressed before starting buspar.
Okay. I believe you. Listen, you can always rechallenge yourself with the Buspar at a later date. Perhaps you should follow your instincts for now and discontinue it.
PLEASE keep posting as best as you feel that you can. There is no pressure, of course. You do what you can. It is obvious that there are people on PB who really care about you and want to know that you are okay.
- Scott
Posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 15:46:10
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » b2chica, posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 15:28:58
i think i'm just worried about being on So many meds.
i just really hope he calls me tonight. :(
Thank you Scott.
i think i'll go pick up my girls. maybe i can be a better mom tonight than i was last night.
slept for three hours yesterday and then went to bed at 8:30.
but i took 10 melatonin last night instead of 5.
i'll stop taking that tonight for sure.b2
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 26, 2012, at 18:15:31
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » SLS, posted by b2chica on March 26, 2012, at 15:46:10
Does your pdoc have an answering service? If it is after hours and you are in crisis, you can call the answering service and they will put you in touch with him. I am really worried about you just hoping that he will call. Be aggressive to get the help you need. It is hard to see you suffer.
EE
Posted by B2chica on March 27, 2012, at 16:31:55
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » b2chica, posted by SLS on March 26, 2012, at 15:28:58
heard from pdoc.
i am to taper quickly off Buspar and start zyprexa tonight.
i mentioned my april 2 appt.
b2
Posted by SLS on March 27, 2012, at 17:33:44
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » SLS, posted by B2chica on March 27, 2012, at 16:31:55
> heard from pdoc.
> i am to taper quickly off Buspar and start zyprexa tonight.
> i mentioned my april 2 appt.
>
> b2
:-)You should feel better by tomorrow.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2012, at 21:22:30
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » B2chica, posted by SLS on March 27, 2012, at 17:33:44
B2Chica so glad your doc called. Hard to believe Buspar did this to you. May you feel much better tomorrow. Love Phillipa
Posted by b2chica on March 28, 2012, at 15:00:54
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2012, at 21:22:30
i dont think its all buspar. my life has had several stressful events and i dont think i deal well with those, but also i think i was headed for this drop anyway. i just think buspar exaggerated it a bit. or at the very least added to the pot.
not feeling better today. only way more tired and a bit dumb. seems like nothings in head today. cant comprehend much, or hurts to do so. very hard to work today.
thing is cant miss much work these days.i just dont know where my life is right now. whats the point of any of this.
b2
Posted by Beckett on March 28, 2012, at 15:38:20
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by b2chica on March 28, 2012, at 15:00:54
> i dont think its all buspar. my life has had several stressful events and i dont think i deal well with those, but also i think i was headed for this drop anyway. i just think buspar exaggerated it a bit. or at the very least added to the pot.
I sometimes find it helpful to see my episodes within a narrative context. That would be that this is a downtime and to expect myself to be cognitively, physically, and in all ways slower, etc. I would try and retry patience with self, and I would do so by reminding myself by my place in the narrative (depressive episode).
>
> not feeling better today. only way more tired and a bit dumb. seems like nothings in head today. cant comprehend much, or hurts to do so. very hard to work today.
> thing is cant miss much work these days.Maybe give the zyprexa some days to work. It takes time to recover from a major depressive episode. This is what it sounds like, to me, you are dealing with. I am so sorry because it really bites.
>
> i just dont know where my life is right now. whats the point of any of this.I have never found much point to anything besides trying to endure life with dignity and being kind. You seem to be managing that. Try to be kind to yourself. My therapist told me last week I was as precious as my son. I was alarmed. I started to cry. After the session, I went out to my car and had an anxiety attack. How nuts is that? So I can't quite practice what I say, but I know you love your girls. If you can hold onto that love for them as an example for yourself.... At least that's what my therapist is angling at.
B.
>
> b2
Posted by b2chica on March 29, 2012, at 7:47:08
In reply to Re: Buspar...depressive SI please help. » b2chica, posted by Beckett on March 28, 2012, at 15:38:20
that sounds just like something my old T would have said. wise. and probably true but like you said. hard to believe.
and ps. something like that would have given me the exact same physical reaction.b2c.
Posted by phidippus on April 3, 2012, at 19:12:44
In reply to Buspar...depressive SI please help., posted by B2chica on March 26, 2012, at 8:16:43
I would stop it.
Eric
This is the end of the thread.
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