![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
My name is rjlockhart and I have been off stimulants now for 2 years. My doctor won't even put me on wellbutrin or strattera. She's a villan, evil. I never had a doctor that had this strict personality she does. She reminds me of someone who knows someone is miserable and doesnt do anything about it. I have been so miserable and she tells me I look great. It's like an insult. She gets really angry with me because she accuses me of diagosing myself with ADD and will refuse to treat me.
I commited myself into an insitiution and all they did was strip me off antidepressants and put me on heavy antipsychotic medication. I am have lost everything with medication benefits. She just gives me the sh*t that she gives me and doesnt do anything. The reason I commited my self into a mental hospital because this arrogant woman would not treat me. It's so difficult to see other people who take medication fine with their doctor and my situation is hell.
You know I see all these people online taking medications and enjoying them. And you know im very sure there are people who are going to be skeptical of my posts thinking im only wanting stimulants but the truth is I just need something to feel better than this rotten miserable state I live in. I hate my life with a passion. I hate alcohol. I smoke. There really isnt much to say more. I just cry. I cry inside. I eat too much because the comfort of food soothes me, but I am a little overwieght now and I can never take a presciption stimulant again in my life because of my mother. I despise everything I've done. I wasted everything I had and ended up in this dirt and I shouldnt really complain but that's what I think about all the time is strattera and something to help with focus at work. She refuses everything I tell her and only uses evidence from these tests I took witch say I have a low processing speed and Schioid personality disorder. She doesnt understand how to treat me with this disorder and then just does nothing. I really am going to have to BEG my mom to get another doctor because nothing is going to happen with this situation only to be more miserable. That's what she is. She's in buisness to keep me miserble. That's all. When I go in I call her the misery doctor.
Listen I'm not here to make your life more miserable reading all my hardaches of life. I just absolutely want to not be here, I pray alot that I will not be sent to hell. I want to have relief. Not suicidal relief but just someting to help me feel better.
What should ... i mean I take over the counter stimulants like caffine and Zantrex 3 but they don't come close to stimualnts that are amphetmaines. I am an amphetamine addict but the reason was I was irresponsible with them and that was why they where taken away.
Please write to me. Tell me someting thats good. I need to be grateful for the things that I do have but I keep thinking of things I don't have, perferably stimualnts. Don't send anything to my babblemail because I have to change it.
I love you who ever you are reading this. I mean that.Logging out...
Matt
Posted by sigismund on May 30, 2011, at 0:32:11
In reply to Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
Matt, is it possible for you to work toward getting well so you can support yourself so you can get away from your mother so you can see the doctors of your choice and live life how you wish to?
Posted by zonked on May 30, 2011, at 1:06:41
In reply to Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
How is it that you're under your Mom's care?
Are you 18 yet? (Assuming you're in the US, and that you're not, OR: )
Is she your conservator? (If so, that makes things really difficult.)
What kind of health coverage do you have? Is it conceivable you could see someone and get treated without your mother knowing? Do you know what your copays are? Maybe you could use a different pharmacy.
The doctor sounds like a NIGHTMARE! I feel for you dude. Hang in there. Sounds like Mom might be a control freak too... is there *any* way you could get out from under her control and get an objective evaluation and still get your scripts covered? Maybe stay with a friend for awhile?
-z
Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 1:12:37
In reply to Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
It's so difficult to see other people who take medication fine with their doctor and my situation is hell.
>
> You know I see all these people online taking medications and enjoying them.Matt, your honesty is beautiful and touching.
And you know im very sure there are people who are going to be skeptical of my posts thinking im only wanting stimulants but the truth is I just need something to feel better than this rotten
miserable state I live in.I think people here believe you. Who here would hold the past against you?
I hate my life with a passion. I hate alcohol. I smoke. There really isnt much to say more. I just cry. I cry inside. I eat too much because the comfort of food soothes me, but I am a little overwieght now and I can never take a presciption
stimulant again in my life because of my mother. I despise everything I've done. I wasted everything I had and ended up in this dirt and I shouldnt really complain but that's what I think about all the time is strattera and something to help with focus at work. She refuses everything I
tell her and only uses evidence from these tests I took witch say I have a low processing speed and Schioid personality disorder. She doesnt understand how to treat me with this disorder and then just does nothing. I really am going to have to BEG my mom to get another doctor
because nothing is going to happen with this situation only to be more miserable. That's what she is. She's in buisness to keep me miserble. That's all. When I go in I call her the misery doctor.
>Some doctors are very cold. I'm sorry you don't have your choice right now.
> Listen I'm not here to make your life more miserable reading all my hardaches of life. I just absolutely want
to not be here, I pray alot that I will not be sent to hell. I want to have relief. Not suicidal relief but just someting to help me feel better.I don't mind reading along. I feel for you and I'm glad to be reading this right before bed. I will pray for you in my agnostic way.
>
> What should ... i mean I take over the
counter stimulants like caffine and Zantrex 3 but they don't come close to stimualnts that are amphetmaines. I am an amphetamine addict but the reason was I was irresponsible with them and that was why they where taken away.
>
> Please write to me. Tell me someting thats good. I need to be grateful for the things that I do have but I keep thinking of things I don't have, perferably
stimualnts. Don't send anything to my babblemail because I have to change it.
> I love you who ever you are reading
this. I mean that.
>
> Logging out...
>
> MattMatt, you're good. You are beautiful. You can still love and you are still holding on. Though you are suffering so, You sound more lucid. Do you journal write for yourself? Something between yourself and beauty. Get yourself well enough to live more freely. Even a
residential housrPeople here care for you. Anyone who would judge You does so out of their own ignorance.
fb
Posted by sigismund on May 30, 2011, at 1:59:57
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by sigismund on May 30, 2011, at 0:32:11
Why are you on so much (20mg) Zyprexa? It can't be doing you any good when you seem to have no great need for it (in the sense that you are not psychotic).
I forget your Prozac dose. Was that a lot too?
One way of looking at this is that you need to get as well as you can to be strong enough to escape your mother's control.
I guess the problem is money/employment.Do you think of it like that? Does that make sense? It would be a long term project.
Posted by jms600 on May 30, 2011, at 6:54:14
In reply to Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
I know what you mean. There are some doctors out there who have no right to be practising medicine in my opinion. They have no bedside manner at all. Disgraceful.
I don't know what other meds you've tried/on but have you considered Parnate? Might be worth a go with it's stimulant properties.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 10:07:57
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by jms600 on May 30, 2011, at 6:54:14
Jms, that's an idea . Emsam, too.
Write when you can, Matt.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 11:06:08
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by sigismund on May 30, 2011, at 0:32:11
I am working on that right now. It's just I have to find a job that's going to pay and I havent found one yet. I really hate sharing the same thing overagain because there are good people here that want to help and I just ... don't listen and that could be why I havent gotten anywhere. BUT thank you for posting. I have to vent and I hope it doesnt make other people miserable to see my posts that im in misery. Anyways right now im doing fine. I just keep thinking that this doctor will not cooperate with me and won't prescibe me wellbutrin or stratttrea. We'll have to see how it goes.
Thanks
Matt
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 11:09:07
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read » rjlockhart04-08, posted by zonked on May 30, 2011, at 1:06:41
I am still under her care and she doesnt seem to be moving out of the way anytime soon. I am 24 and I still have to deal with control issues. I hate posting my frustations and not listening to advice from other people. I've got to get a new doctor. This doctor is in buisness to keep me miserable. I'm being a bit saracastic about that but its true. She doesnt ever ask if im happy or happy with meds. She's a villian.
That's all. THANK YOU FOR POSTING!!
Matt
Posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2011, at 11:21:17
In reply to zonked, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 11:09:07
Hi Matt didn't you get a job with a new company a while back? Love Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 23:25:10
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read » rjlockhart04-08, posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 1:12:37
Thank you for your encouraging words. I really appricaite it.
Matt
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 23:29:02
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by sigismund on May 30, 2011, at 1:59:57
I take 60mg of Prozac and it occationally gets me out of depression. It really has lost its effect on me nad my doctor will not do anything like usally. She in BUISNESS to keep me miserable. That's why she smiles when I ask her something she's not going to do. She's a villian.
Yes, this long term project is really overwhelming to me. I don't know waht is going to happen. I really am sad I have such little skills in moving out. I don't know but im glad I have babble.
Matt
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 23:37:14
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by jms600 on May 30, 2011, at 6:54:14
I already asked her about Parnate. She just smiled with a grim meaning it was no. I swear I hate this doctor. She's so stubborn and arrogant and won't try any treatments execpt the one that I've already been thought. She's a villian in my terms because she doesnt help. I have really had it with her. I've got so much to do and my medicines are not working.
Thank you for your post.
Matt
Posted by Solstice on May 31, 2011, at 20:37:23
In reply to Semi- Urgent. Please read, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
Matt -
I have some thoughts that might be in conflict with what you'd like to hear... in that my notion of something 'good to hear' might be different than your idea about what's good to hear.
I think it is courageous of you and a big plus for your recovery that you readily acknowlege that the trouble you're having getting the amphetimine prescription you want is because of your own amphetamine addiction history. I hear how angry you are that your psychiatrist refuses to prescribe amphetamines for you. It sounds like you want her to trust you. Trouble is, that addictions of any kind are extremely difficult to overcome and it would be irresponsible of her, as a physician, to prescribe amphetamines to an amphetamine addict. If she did, and you 'fell off the wagon' and did something harmful to yourself or others with them, then she might get in trouble since your addition is of record.
I doubt you will be able to get amphetamines from anyone. I'm not so sure it's the lack of amphetamines that is making you so miserable. It might be the intensity of your anger toward the doctor that's causing the biggest problem for you. It might help reduce those feelings if you ask the doctor if there is anything you can do to regain her trust where that she would prescribe amphetamines. If there is, then you will know what you have to do and can get started. If she says "no way - ever," then you can figure out how to just let it go.
I'm pretty sure that hating her and thinking of her as a villan is not going to get you anywhere. Next time you see her, I would discuss the whole issue with her. Tell her that you want to try wellbutrin, or strattera or whatever else that is not considered addictive, and if/when she says 'no,' find out exactly why. You've told us she won't let you take wellbutrin, but I would want to know why not? And why not Strattera? If you know why, then you can figure out what is in your way.
Solstice
Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2011, at 21:56:54
In reply to Re: Semi- Urgent. Please read » rjlockhart04-08, posted by Solstice on May 31, 2011, at 20:37:23
Matt don't you attend groups? Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.