Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on May 30, 2011, at 0:23:43
My name is rjlockhart and I have been off stimulants now for 2 years. My doctor won't even put me on wellbutrin or strattera. She's a villan, evil. I never had a doctor that had this strict personality she does. She reminds me of someone who knows someone is miserable and doesnt do anything about it. I have been so miserable and she tells me I look great. It's like an insult. She gets really angry with me because she accuses me of diagosing myself with ADD and will refuse to treat me.
I commited myself into an insitiution and all they did was strip me off antidepressants and put me on heavy antipsychotic medication. I am have lost everything with medication benefits. She just gives me the sh*t that she gives me and doesnt do anything. The reason I commited my self into a mental hospital because this arrogant woman would not treat me. It's so difficult to see other people who take medication fine with their doctor and my situation is hell.
You know I see all these people online taking medications and enjoying them. And you know im very sure there are people who are going to be skeptical of my posts thinking im only wanting stimulants but the truth is I just need something to feel better than this rotten miserable state I live in. I hate my life with a passion. I hate alcohol. I smoke. There really isnt much to say more. I just cry. I cry inside. I eat too much because the comfort of food soothes me, but I am a little overwieght now and I can never take a presciption stimulant again in my life because of my mother. I despise everything I've done. I wasted everything I had and ended up in this dirt and I shouldnt really complain but that's what I think about all the time is strattera and something to help with focus at work. She refuses everything I tell her and only uses evidence from these tests I took witch say I have a low processing speed and Schioid personality disorder. She doesnt understand how to treat me with this disorder and then just does nothing. I really am going to have to BEG my mom to get another doctor because nothing is going to happen with this situation only to be more miserable. That's what she is. She's in buisness to keep me miserble. That's all. When I go in I call her the misery doctor.
Listen I'm not here to make your life more miserable reading all my hardaches of life. I just absolutely want to not be here, I pray alot that I will not be sent to hell. I want to have relief. Not suicidal relief but just someting to help me feel better.
What should ... i mean I take over the counter stimulants like caffine and Zantrex 3 but they don't come close to stimualnts that are amphetmaines. I am an amphetamine addict but the reason was I was irresponsible with them and that was why they where taken away.
Please write to me. Tell me someting thats good. I need to be grateful for the things that I do have but I keep thinking of things I don't have, perferably stimualnts. Don't send anything to my babblemail because I have to change it.
I love you who ever you are reading this. I mean that.Logging out...
Matt
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:986605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110529/msgs/986605.html