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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by sigismund on February 21, 2011, at 19:31:02
In reply to mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2011, at 15:01:17
April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Posted by Phillipa on February 21, 2011, at 20:32:15
In reply to Spring came much too early this year, posted by sigismund on February 21, 2011, at 19:31:02
Sigi seriously you are so poetic!!!
Posted by Iansf on February 21, 2011, at 23:24:20
In reply to mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2011, at 15:01:17
I know this is going to sound silly to a lot of people, but were you aware there were three earthquakes of 6.3 magnitude today (the well publicized one in New Zealand plus a second on the Kamchatka Peninsula and a third off the coast of Japan), as well as a major volcanic eruption (in the Phililppines)? Perhaps in some way you're picking up on geologic disruption. It may seem far-fetched, but given the overall intensity of the disturbance to the earth, I wouldn't find it difficult to believe that some especially sensitive individuals located far away from the actual events might be affected by them without realizing it. Perhaps you've been feeling the vibration at some level, or perhaps some external force yet unrecognized by science triggered the quakes and similarly triggered activity along your own neural pathways.
> I don't really know whats going on right now. I've been having rage attacks, which is not typical for me.
>
> There is so much noise in my head. I always get into this state this time of year.
>
> I find spring and summer very hard to manage.
>
>
> I find winter easy. Its very easy to be calm and reflective. Spring and summer are very hard since my brain does not want to reflect any longer.
>
> My life seems so confusing yet meaningless. I want something to provide real happiness. Yet I don't know what that is.
>
>
> Linkadge
>
Posted by morgan miller on February 21, 2011, at 23:38:08
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well » linkadge, posted by Iansf on February 21, 2011, at 23:24:20
Linkage, sorry you are not feeling well.
Could this be a good time to add a little lithium to the mix? Just a very small amount, maybe 150 mg? Or, buy some lithium orotate?
How about the friendships in your life? Are you able to go out and enjoy time with friends?
Are you running,exercising, and/or weight training?
What are your interests and hobbies? What stimulates you in a good way?
I find spring and summer lately to be unsettling because it is a time of year when we are supposed to be getting out and connecting even more with the world around us. We are supposed to become more active in outdoor activities-cook outs, hiking, biking, tennis, eating lunch and dinner on restaurant patios with co-workers/friends, etc. Because I have not been well in several ways the past few years, I am even more distressed over my life in the spring and summer. Do you think the state you are is at all a result of something similar to how I have been feeling about spring and summer?
Morgan
Posted by linkadge on February 22, 2011, at 9:20:37
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well » linkadge, posted by Iansf on February 21, 2011, at 23:24:20
Thats interesting, but I've been having problems for about 2 weeks yesterday.
I've been doing some darkness therapy which seems to be helping.
Linkadge
Posted by linkadge on February 22, 2011, at 9:25:54
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by morgan miller on February 21, 2011, at 23:38:08
>How about the friendships in your life? Are you >able to go out and enjoy time with friends?
I have been in my room. Every though leads to an painful dead end.
>Are you running,exercising, and/or weight >training?
No
>Do you think the state you are is at all a >result of something similar to how I have been >feeling about spring and summer?
I don't know. It hurts to think. Every thought is painful.
I have been hiding away in my room in complete darkness for long stretches. This seems to help.
Linkadge
Posted by morgan miller on February 22, 2011, at 14:57:47
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 22, 2011, at 9:25:54
Damn, Sorry Linkage.
Posted by sigismund on February 22, 2011, at 15:04:50
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 22, 2011, at 9:25:54
>It hurts to think. Every thought is painful.
It is interesting how it can be like that, whereas in other blessed states (too few, of course) the opposite is true, where consciousness is blissful and every thought is a delight.
I don't understand why this is so.
Posted by alchemy on February 22, 2011, at 20:18:17
In reply to mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2011, at 15:01:17
Sorry linkage. It sounds like the season change has never been this bad before. I don't think I've had that level of rage, but when I do feel rage, my life's situation fuels it. When I don't feel so terrible, the perspective of my life isn't as negative (or I forget temporarily).
Has anything ever helped your agitation? Would a benzo help?
Posted by polarbear206 on February 22, 2011, at 20:55:43
In reply to mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2011, at 15:01:17
Unfortunatley, it's the nature of the beast and can be a sign of "kindling". Consistant medication management can help to keep these exacerbations at bay. Your young, so nab it in the butt before it gets worse.
Posted by morgan miller on February 22, 2011, at 23:08:43
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by polarbear206 on February 22, 2011, at 20:55:43
> Unfortunatley, it's the nature of the beast and can be a sign of "kindling". Consistant medication management can help to keep these exacerbations at bay. Your young, so nab it in the butt before it gets worse.
I agree, being on a medication that makes life more manageable and reactions to stress less severe may prevent a condition from worsening and hopefully restore quality to life. I know you've been on a very long, difficult and thorough search for the right medication. Maybe it's time to start fresh with a new doctor? Or at least have a conversation with your current doctor about the reasons why you might want to try low doses of medications you had such strong negative feelings about and opinions of in the past, but now believe they might help you? Of course I'm speaking of lexapro or Celexa and lithium.
Posted by floatingbridge on February 24, 2011, at 15:05:00
In reply to mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2011, at 15:01:17
I'm sorry to hear this Link. Thanks for checking in. I think more than a few of us were concerned.
Dark therapy. I'm sorry. You do sound like you are in high pain.
Are you in Canada? North?
I always disliked very early spring. Too raw.
Posted by linkadge on February 25, 2011, at 20:54:06
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well » linkadge, posted by floatingbridge on February 24, 2011, at 15:05:00
I'm doing a little better now I guess. Interestingly a 200mg ibuprofen seemed to help more than anything else. Seemed to slow the noise a bit.
I also took some left over epival which helped. I need to see a doctor, but I don't know how to explain things. Seems by the time I see the doctor, I'm always feeling a bit better. It never seems like the doctor gets the whole picture.
Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2011, at 21:07:57
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 25, 2011, at 20:54:06
Link 400-600mg of same makes me feel good. Dentist had had me take it 600mg for 24 hours for inflammation but it seemed to effect my head more. Inflammation must somehow be implicated with mental issure. Phillipa
Posted by polarbear206 on February 26, 2011, at 9:48:33
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 25, 2011, at 20:54:06
> I'm doing a little better now I guess. Interestingly a 200mg ibuprofen seemed to help more than anything else. Seemed to slow the noise a bit.
>
> I also took some left over epival which helped. I need to see a doctor, but I don't know how to explain things. Seems by the time I see the doctor, I'm always feeling a bit better. It never seems like the doctor gets the whole picture.
>
> Linkadge
He should get the picture. Do you keep a mood journal? Perhaps you could explain things better if you write it down.
Posted by floatingbridge on February 26, 2011, at 13:03:33
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 25, 2011, at 20:54:06
Hi Link, I'm glad you posted. I know the feeling (but for, probably, different reasons) of accurately presenting at a doc's.
PBear's suggestion is a good one. And if you have difficulties getting a doc to understand you, then (argh) you might need to doc shop.
Posted by morgan miller on February 27, 2011, at 0:34:59
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well, posted by linkadge on February 25, 2011, at 20:54:06
> I'm doing a little better now I guess. Interestingly a 200mg ibuprofen seemed to help more than anything else. Seemed to slow the noise a bit.
>
> I also took some left over epival which helped. I need to see a doctor, but I don't know how to explain things. Seems by the time I see the doctor, I'm always feeling a bit better. It never seems like the doctor gets the whole picture.
>
> LinkadgeI understand what your saying. I'm sure though that if you go through all of your states and medication history great in detail, a good doctor will be able to get a fairly accurate picture of what's going on with you. Hopefully at least it will be enough for him/her to be able to help you get on track to figuring out what treatment may be most helpful.
Good luck Linkage,
Morgan
Posted by Abby Cunningham on February 28, 2011, at 16:27:42
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year » sigismund, posted by Phillipa on February 21, 2011, at 20:32:15
> Sigi seriously you are so poetic!!!
Actually Phillipa, credit for this poem goes to T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land".
I always remember it because I have had spells of depression in April.
Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2011, at 21:04:50
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year, posted by Abby Cunningham on February 28, 2011, at 16:27:42
Abby April here in the states? Why do you feel this is? I know I look at when things happened in my life and April is when my Mother died. So this one I know. Good with literature. Thanks Abby!!! Phillipa
Posted by morgan miller on February 28, 2011, at 22:07:41
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year, posted by Abby Cunningham on February 28, 2011, at 16:27:42
Spring definitely came waaaaaay tooo early. Signs of global warming caused by man? Who knows. Whatever it is, it's not normal and I don't like it. I love winter and need it, just like spring and summer.
Posted by Elanor Roosevelt on March 2, 2011, at 22:26:48
In reply to Re: mixed states - not doing well » Iansf, posted by linkadge on February 22, 2011, at 9:20:37
> I've been doing some darkness therapy which seems to be helping.This is what I was wondering. Do you have sufficient coverage on your windows to keep out the increasing daylight. If you are a late night person you have to be able to sleep mornings.
Of course, the problem with a cozy dark room is that you have to leave it sometimes too-- a difficult task at times.
Posted by sigismund on March 5, 2011, at 15:13:39
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year » Abby Cunningham, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2011, at 21:04:50
I think the idea is that hope and life and new birth are seriously painful.
Posted by linkadge on March 6, 2011, at 7:06:38
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year, posted by sigismund on March 5, 2011, at 15:13:39
>I think the idea is that hope and life and new >birth are seriously painful.
Yeah, cause they are often simply a reminder of death! :)
I also think there is a tendancy for spring to produce an akathesia of sorts. A harsh, in your face, reanalysis of where your life is and what are you doing to improve. (Maybe this process is exaggerated in bipolar).
In winter, your brain lets you off the hook for being stagnant - nothing is growing so why should I.
In spring, there seems to be a push for emotional and/or physical growth that is mirrored in nature. For some people that push just leaves them in more confusion and pain (pain not unlike that experienced by a really horney but exceedingly ugly individual).
Linkadge
Posted by sigismund on March 6, 2011, at 13:29:11
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year » sigismund, posted by linkadge on March 6, 2011, at 7:06:38
You may have had enough of mindfulness?
I imagined Canadians getting depressed in winter and needing lightboxes.
Here there is so much light it gives you cancer.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on March 6, 2011, at 16:21:10
In reply to Re: Spring came much too early this year » sigismund, posted by linkadge on March 6, 2011, at 7:06:38
>pain... not unlike that experienced by a really horny but exceedingly ugly individual
Not heard that one before :) Very vivid.
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