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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 19:52:19
My mood has been so down. I am ready to OD, but I don't plan on doing anything tonight. I just know that eventually, that will be the way I go.
I don't know why I am feeling this way. I just want to die.
Posted by emmanuel98 on January 28, 2010, at 21:35:23
In reply to Ready to OD, posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 19:52:19
I am so sorry you feel this way. So is the parnate not holding you?
Posted by Sigismund on January 28, 2010, at 22:24:38
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by emmanuel98 on January 28, 2010, at 21:35:23
You had a good response for a bit and then....??
Is this to do with Parnate not working?
Posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 23:29:51
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by emmanuel98 on January 28, 2010, at 21:35:23
I don't know what the problem is. Without the Parnate I would probably be flat on my back. I had a close online friend take her own life last weeks and it's really affecting me.
Posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 23:30:55
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by Sigismund on January 28, 2010, at 22:24:38
I think the Parnate is working but I think that life's circumstances are bigger than the Parnate. :(
I just want to die.
Posted by inanimate peanut on January 28, 2010, at 23:51:42
In reply to Re: Ready to OD » Sigismund, posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 23:30:55
I understand how life's circumstances can make it seem like the only way out. I think that's how I'll go too. Please, though, before you do, make sure that you've considered all of your options, considering all of the support you have here. We love you and would hate to lose you. I'm sure your loved ones would never forgive you either. Take those barriers in life one at a time and start trying to get through them alive as hard as that sounds. That's what I'm trying to do right now when an OD would be so, so much easier. We have to keep trying for those we love-- they would never be the same without us. We love you!
Posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 23:57:47
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by inanimate peanut on January 28, 2010, at 23:51:42
Thank you. :) It wouldn't be the same without you either. Let's both try and stick around.
xoxoxo
Posted by janejane on January 29, 2010, at 4:27:03
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by inanimate peanut on January 28, 2010, at 23:51:42
(((Maxime)))
I'm so sorry you're feeling this bad. I've been having a tough time too but tell myself I have to go on for the sake of my loved ones. Have you talked to your doc about what the next step should be?
Posted by Phillipa on January 29, 2010, at 10:59:25
In reply to Re: Ready to OD » inanimate peanut, posted by janejane on January 29, 2010, at 4:27:03
Maxie just up I do understand what you mean about the online friend as I've had the same happen. Since the Parnate is still working. Like I tell myself try to get out. Easier said than done. Do you still have a psychologist or someone to talk to. You and I have know each other a long time. I have always missed you when your're not around on babble. Are you sleeping? I do care. Love Phillipa
Posted by SLS on January 29, 2010, at 11:10:46
In reply to Ready to OD, posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 19:52:19
> My mood has been so down. I am ready to OD, but I don't plan on doing anything tonight. I just know that eventually, that will be the way I go.
>
> I don't know why I am feeling this way. I just want to die.I'm sure you know that this will pass.
It might help to look at your current mental state as an object to be studied. As you work through it and later look back upon it objectively, you will hopefully come to understand it in a way that will help you better cope with it should it arise again in the future.
You'll be okay.
- Scott
Posted by Maxime on January 29, 2010, at 14:41:39
In reply to Re: Ready to OD » Maxime, posted by SLS on January 29, 2010, at 11:10:46
The thoughts are so strong.:( I just want to escape my world.
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 29, 2010, at 15:29:05
In reply to Re: Ready to OD » SLS, posted by Maxime on January 29, 2010, at 14:41:39
> The thoughts are so strong.:( I just want to escape my world.
maxime,
You wrote,[...escape my world...].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. Is the world that you are in the real world?
B. If not, could you consider that there could be a real world unbeknownst to you?
C. If there was another world other than your world, would you consider to go to it?
D. If you are wanting to escape the world that you are in, what is stopping you from being free?
E. If you want to be free, and I could help you go to free from the world that you are in, could you take a chance on me?
Lou
Posted by Maxime on January 29, 2010, at 22:55:47
In reply to Lou's response-taighkahchaz » Maxime, posted by Lou Pilder on January 29, 2010, at 15:29:05
> > The thoughts are so strong.:( I just want to escape my world.
>
> maxime,
> You wrote,[...escape my world...].
> I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
> A. Is the world that you are in the real world? I believe it is the real world because it's my reality.
> B. If not, could you consider that there could be a real world unbeknownst to you? I have considered that as well and I do believe in the existance of other world.s
> C. If there was another world other than your world, would you consider to go to it? I would consider going to it if was a world where depression and eating disorders don't exist.
> D. If you are wanting to escape the world that you are in, what is stopping you from being free? My family is stopping me. My mum has alzheimers and I have to look after her.
> E. If you want to be free, and I could help you go to free from the world that you are in, could you take a chance on me? Yes.
> Lou
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 30, 2010, at 9:31:34
In reply to Re: Lou's response-taighkahchaz » Lou Pilder, posted by Maxime on January 29, 2010, at 22:55:47
> > > The thoughts are so strong.:( I just want to escape my world.
> >
> > maxime,
> > You wrote,[...escape my world...].
> > I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
> > A. Is the world that you are in the real world? I believe it is the real world because it's my reality.
> > B. If not, could you consider that there could be a real world unbeknownst to you? I have considered that as well and I do believe in the existance of other world.s
> > C. If there was another world other than your world, would you consider to go to it? I would consider going to it if was a world where depression and eating disorders don't exist.
> > D. If you are wanting to escape the world that you are in, what is stopping you from being free? My family is stopping me. My mum has alzheimers and I have to look after her.
> > E. If you want to be free, and I could help you go to free from the world that you are in, could you take a chance on me? Yes.
> > Lou> Maxi,
> What's it all about, Maxi? Is it just for the moment we live?
You wrote,[...(another world)...I would go to it if it were a world where depression does not exist...].
There was once a world, accordinng to the scriptures that the Jews use, where man had fellowship with their God and there was no pain of any sort including depression.
The book called Genesis describes the first man that lived in a garden and could live forever. The book describes what happened in that garden and that man was changed and expelled from the garden into a different life that we live in now.
Going back to the original life that the first man experianced is possible according to what the Jews believe. In a book called the Psalms, the 16th one, the 11th verse has a promise to man to be able to go back in the Paradise of God and the Tree of Life. It reads;
[...You will show me the path of life: in your presence is the fullness of joy: at your right hand there are pleasures for evermore....].
Lou
Posted by Maxime on January 30, 2010, at 12:10:20
In reply to Lou's reply-bktugd » Maxime, posted by Lou Pilder on January 30, 2010, at 9:31:34
I will read the passages you gave me. Perhaps they will help me. Thanks Lou!
Posted by bulldog2 on January 30, 2010, at 12:54:37
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-bktugd, posted by Maxime on January 30, 2010, at 12:10:20
> I will read the passages you gave me. Perhaps they will help me. Thanks Lou!
Jesus was actually a mystic and possibly other jewish prophets were mystics to. This has been lost in the way the bible is presented to children. Actually the lost paadises are really in your mind. I don't believe its a physical place. That's why Jesus said paradise is here. We have to let go of the other crap to get there.
Posted by Sigismund on January 30, 2010, at 13:14:38
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-bktugd, posted by bulldog2 on January 30, 2010, at 12:54:37
>Actually the lost paadises are really in your mind. I don't believe its a physical place. That's why Jesus said paradise is here.
So it's here now, is it?
I'm caught between feeling that and wishing the moment would end.
Posted by bulldog2 on January 30, 2010, at 13:28:00
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-bktugd, posted by Sigismund on January 30, 2010, at 13:14:38
> >Actually the lost paadises are really in your mind. I don't believe its a physical place. That's why Jesus said paradise is here.
>
> So it's here now, is it?
>
> I'm caught between feeling that and wishing the moment would end.Yes it is here. Our super egos run our minds for the most part. Think of animals and how they perceive the earth. No super egos to get in their ways. If you were a dog for a moment it would be like your high. That's why people took lsd to liberate their spirit. The part of us that survives the death of our bodies. If you can quiet yur mind enough through meditation you can expereience this.
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 30, 2010, at 15:23:50
In reply to Re: Lou's reply-bktugd, posted by Maxime on January 30, 2010, at 12:10:20
> I will read the passages you gave me. Perhaps they will help me. Thanks Lou!
Maxi,
You wrote,[...will read the passages...perhaps they will help...].
You wrote of a world that you are in that you wanted to be free from. The passages could lead you to be free from that world and be in a new world.
Here is another passage that may help you to be free from that world. It is from a Psalm, the 40th, verses 2 and 3:
[...He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
And he has put a new song in my mouth...]
Lou
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 31, 2010, at 21:55:46
In reply to Re: Ready to OD » SLS, posted by Maxime on January 29, 2010, at 14:41:39
> The thoughts are so strong.:( I just want to escape my world.
Maxime:
I know you have been tried on a few different antipsychotics. I also know you are not a very big fan of them, and completely understand why. Have you ever tried a combination of two antipsychotics? You know I am not saying this is 'the' answer...
Jay
Posted by Maxime on February 1, 2010, at 7:41:58
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 31, 2010, at 21:55:46
I've never been on two at a time, no. I don't know if my pdoc would go for that. He really wants me on the least amount of meds as possible. I see him this Friday and will see what he proposes. My guess is that he won't want to add anything or take anything away.
Posted by sam K on February 1, 2010, at 10:57:26
In reply to Ready to OD, posted by Maxime on January 28, 2010, at 19:52:19
you sound like you're bipolar to me. Have you tried any bipolar medications besides antipsychotics. < i couldnt tolerate any of those and felt worse and maybe even more suicidal.
You're just feeling some of the most uncomfortable pain you will feel in your entire life and I guarentee if you stick it out itll be so worth it. If you trully and genuinly want to get better you will.
Have you tried any med that was really really good but you couldnt tolerate? or are all of them just ineffective? And if you havnt been on lithium, depakote, or lamictal I suggest all of those.
Posted by Maxime on February 1, 2010, at 15:36:03
In reply to Re: Ready to OD, posted by sam K on February 1, 2010, at 10:57:26
Yes, my diagnosis is bipolar type 2. I have been on Depakote and I was allergic to it. I've tried lithium but I was always toxic on it. I respond well to trileptal, maybe I should go back on that. All I know is that I can't handle these suicidal thoughts much longer.
Posted by Cherry Carver on February 7, 2010, at 9:32:29
In reply to Re: Ready to OD » sam K, posted by Maxime on February 1, 2010, at 15:36:03
Depakote is awful stuff. Lithium (at least in the tiny doses I was given when hospitalized) only made me want to take more of it until I felt nothing. Trileptal is an anti-seizure med. I read that it's like Tegretol but "with an oxygen stuck on it" <www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/trileptal.htm>. I've taken Tegretol and it drained nearly every ounce of fluid from my body in one night, leaving me so dehydrated I could barely move.
I say that only so you'll know I've tried these things, and many other meds as well. I don't know what bipolar type 2 is; I have always suspected that I am manic-depressive, but was never diagnosed as such because I have extreme panic disorder, for which I take Klonopin (currently 2 mgs; I have been down as low as 1 mg and as high as 3 mgs).
I suffer from suicidal thoughts too, and I have attempted suicide several times (the first time I was clinically dead, brought back and then put in the looney bin for awhile). I don't want to be put away again, so I have learned to ignore the impulse to kill myself, though the thought is always there.
So I know how you feel. And I don't know what to do about it. You have my complete sympathy, and it's helpful to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this. It's the worst feeling in the world. It must be an insidious extension of my panic disorder. Klonopin controls it most of the time, but there are days when the fear is bigger than any drug can control.
All I can tell you is, DON'T TRY SUICIDE. More than likely, you will wind up hospitalized, not dead. Most emergency room personnel have NO CLUE how to treat attempted suicide victims except as criminals. I have been tied down to a table in leather restraints for as long as nine hours following a suicide attempt. The staff doesn't care how miserable or hurt you feel. They don't understand. They just want you to lie there and hold still.
You are better off alive, getting up every day in your own house and going to sleep in your own bed. If you have never been institutionalized, believe me when I tell you, it isn't a fun-house starring Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. Death is going to come soon enough. Don't hurry it along.
(((hugs)))
> Yes, my diagnosis is bipolar type 2. I have been on Depakote and I was allergic to it. I've tried lithium but I was always toxic on it. I respond well to trileptal, maybe I should go back on that. All I know is that I can't handle these suicidal thoughts much longer.
This is the end of the thread.
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