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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
Hey everyone. I haven't been around much I know. But - things aren't going well for me and I don't see them ever getting any better than this. I wish I was one of those people who responds great to an antidepressant and has complet remission of symptoms. But I'm not. I've been chuggin along now for 15 years in incredible pain - lost all my friends. I think it's time to say goodbye. There just isn't any more hope left and I think I've just played my last hand.
Thanks to all of you on here who I've met and known throughout the past 10 years or so - you all have been a great support system.
A friend wrote to me the other day - and I think she was trying to be nice - but it just kind made me more depressed when she said that people don't repsond - they have their own lives to worry about, etc. So I took that as a sign that I've pretty much got no one in my life who cares about me anymore.
I don't think I'll ever find anyone to love either.
No - I don't have a plan. But - I dunno. I'm not gonna last much longer. I've still got a little gas to keep my engine running - a few more days. However, when it runs out - that's it.
thanks everyone....
goodbye
Posted by flip_flop on August 25, 2006, at 6:03:07
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
Posted by willyee on August 25, 2006, at 6:10:48
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
> Hey everyone. I haven't been around much I know. But - things aren't going well for me and I don't see them ever getting any better than this. I wish I was one of those people who responds great to an antidepressant and has complet remission of symptoms. But I'm not. I've been chuggin along now for 15 years in incredible pain - lost all my friends. I think it's time to say goodbye. There just isn't any more hope left and I think I've just played my last hand.
>
> Thanks to all of you on here who I've met and known throughout the past 10 years or so - you all have been a great support system.
>
> A friend wrote to me the other day - and I think she was trying to be nice - but it just kind made me more depressed when she said that people don't repsond - they have their own lives to worry about, etc. So I took that as a sign that I've pretty much got no one in my life who cares about me anymore.
>
> I don't think I'll ever find anyone to love either.
>
> No - I don't have a plan. But - I dunno. I'm not gonna last much longer. I've still got a little gas to keep my engine running - a few more days. However, when it runs out - that's it.
>
> thanks everyone....
>
> goodbye
>I dont know your story,and your situation is a great one your honestly gonna have to come to terms with the best way u know how,BUT i will tell u people do care,i think about fellow sufferers,its one of the things that helps me keep going is to know im not the only one,and there are people as myself who wish i could help every single one of us including myself,i am 27,and with modesty am a good looking guy work out since 16,told all the time how "good i look" yet i am totaly alone,theres no way i can land a woman to accept the up and downs,so i too am extremly lonly and have been single a long time,when i worked in computers and xmas time came i had to help couples,and watch them cuddle picking out all types of things,with myhelp,hugging the whole time,when i knew i was going home to an empty room.
The point is u have a lot of understanding,and i know people may see me a certain way here but anyone who has ever emailed me personaly knows im always open to talk this is sort of a battle fieled since opinions are debated,but when someone emails with just looking for someone to talk to,well i invite that to anyone cause i myself rely on a circle of people i have.Anyway i wish u luck and hope u have more responses from people who know u a lil better.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 25, 2006, at 9:25:40
In reply to Re: Time to say goodbye?, posted by willyee on August 25, 2006, at 6:10:48
Hiya Jerry,
Yeah I know only too well exactly what you mean. But you have babble! I know its not the same as IRL, but hey. We can really sympathize with how you're feeling! A problem shared is a problem halved.
I know this sounds rather corny, but have you thought about getting a pet - something like a cat or a dog? I have a cat, and honestly, I would be lost without her fur to cry into when I'm lonely and depressed. You know, she's *just for me* - she doesn't like anyone else at all, and she only curls up in *my* lap. Its a great comfort to be honest, because I know she loves me for who I am, and the relationship is very simple and uncomplicated!!
I'm kinda running out of steam too. I know how you feel.
The thing is, I've realised, is that even through you may be totally feeling like sh*t now, there's always the chance that it will get better at some point. Now, I know that it doesn't *feel* that way, but statisically, I feel confident in saying that you can feel better than you do now, at some point in the future.
I'm rather glad that when I was at my lowest I didn't do myself in. Coz now things aren't great, but they are better. I know you can't see your future when you're at rock bottom, but I can!!!
Please babblemail be anytime. Well I for one would like to get to know you more! :O)
Kin regards
Meri
Posted by Phillipa on August 25, 2006, at 11:13:37
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
Jerry what about pharmacy school. Maybe you'll be the one to discover the magic bullet? Love you Phillipa
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on August 25, 2006, at 12:50:33
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
Have you tried every type of med out there? Even the MAOIS? How about the new ENSAM? I will promise you there is a med out there that works for you, it is just a matter of trial and error, which is unfortunate for all of us but they are getting better with meds all the times, and news one come out here and there. You've got to hold on to that hope.
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on August 25, 2006, at 12:59:35
In reply to Re: Time to say goodbye?, posted by willyee on August 25, 2006, at 6:10:48
Willyee, oh man, I can relate to that so well. You meet a significant other and then beat yourself up about "I don't want to be a burden to her. I don't think she is going to like me still when she find out the truth about me." What I have come to realize is that this is the GREAT LIE that the devil puts in our minds. Because the TRUTH is everyone (and I mean everyone put on this Earth) has issues they are dealing with. Hers may not be depression or anxiety, but it could be a lack of self esteem, or being a workaholic, or fear of intimacy, or thinking she is not attractive, I dont know, something. There is always something, no one is perfect. To me, and I'm sure you feel the same way, TRUE LOVE is finding somone to accept you how you are, "warts and all."
> > i think about fellow sufferers,its one of the things that helps me keep going is to know im not the only one,and there are people as myself who wish i could help every single one of us including myself,i am 27,and with modesty am a good looking guy work out since 16,told all the time how "good i look" yet i am totaly alone,theres no way i can land a woman to accept the up and downs,so i too am extremly lonly and have been single a long time <<
Posted by Racer on August 25, 2006, at 13:09:44
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
> But - things aren't going well for me and I don't see them ever getting any better than this.
Sorry, Jerry -- you've been here before, and you've gotten out of it. Back then, you would have said the same thing: there's no hope, nothing will ever be any different, no one cares about me, etc. You've been here before, you've written the same words here before.
And they weren't true then.
Therefore, it's not such a risky bet that they won't be true now, either. Capiche?
I'm terribly sorry that you're not doing well right now. Goodness knows I empathize with you, and I go into my own morass of morosity -- but that doesn't mean that it's always going to be this way. The only reason you believe that right now is that you're depressed! That's what depression is -- hopeless-colored glasses. Right now, you're wearing them. Next week, though, maybe you won't be. I know it doesn't feel as though there's any chance of that, but it didn't feel as though there was any chance LAST time you were in this space.
But in between, you made some pretty amazing changes in your life, and you felt pretty hopeful. I know your Beast is telling you that the hope was a lie, but the Beast is the liar.
Poor Jerry. I hope things turn around quickly for you this time. What are you doing to try to make that happen? Do you have an appointment set up yet with your pdoc, to discuss options?
I hope you'll take care of yourself, maybe give yourself some sort of treat every day? I like Hershey's Kisses -- maybe something like that would at least remind you that you're worthy of chocolate?
Good luck, and best wishes.
Posted by UgottaHaveHOPE on August 25, 2006, at 16:36:18
In reply to Tough Love? » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Racer on August 25, 2006, at 13:09:44
we care man
Posted by finelinebob on August 25, 2006, at 20:22:04
In reply to Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK????, posted by UgottaHaveHOPE on August 25, 2006, at 16:36:18
What irks me so much at times is that people think their virtual life is somehow less real than their "real" life. Lots of people say it, and not just here. But quite frankly, I have a number of virtual friends who have been truer to me than some real life "friends". Not that you've said that, Jerry, but...
Jerry, you have friends here. No one, not any of us, can understand what you are going through, can feel what you feel, but we're travelled down different paths to the same locations and that can bond us more than any "normal" person IRL can.
You have friends here. You have people who care about you here. And we'll never turn our backs on you or dismiss you. You'll find a way to turn the Hunter into the Hunted, and one day you'll be supporting others with your strength.
I know this to be true. I have faith in you.
Posted by redbeach on August 26, 2006, at 19:52:35
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
Jerry
I hope and pray that your still ok. Please dont lose all hope and check out. I know how you feel ive struggled with anxiety and depression for 16 years. Also like you ive had little help with standard SSRI drugs, tricyclics etc. However I understand my condition and understand what most of chemical problems are. I now have now have a whole army of vitamins and herbs that keeps my problems in check. Half the time i cant be bothered to take them but when I feel things getting bad I do take them and they do help. I wont bore you with my chemical problems but i do understand why normal antidepresents dont work very well. the whole point of this is that your depression might be a rare sort with a biochemical basis. Give me your medical history and conditions and maybee i can help.
Cheers Redbeach
NB Recently I read a posting from another forum, it was from a lady who suffers from a rare condition called sub-epileptic seizure. This condition causes major panic attacks and depression. However since taking anti seizure medicine she is 100% cured. The strange thing about about sub-epileptic seizures is that you can have this condition and not be aware of it. Its not a surprise that SSRI were of no use to this person. Im not saying that you have this condition however
you might have another medical condition that causes your depression.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 3, 2006, at 21:34:04
In reply to Time to say goodbye?, posted by JerryPharmStudent on August 25, 2006, at 3:03:53
> So I took that as a sign that I've pretty much got no one in my life who cares about me anymore.
>
> I don't think I'll ever find anyone to love either.
>Jerry, That's the depression talking above. When you're feeling a bit better, I'm sure you'll see that.
I hope you're taking care of yourself and things are improving. Let us know what we can do to help.
gg
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on September 26, 2006, at 2:01:04
In reply to Tough Love? » JerryPharmStudent, posted by Racer on August 25, 2006, at 13:09:44
> > But - things aren't going well for me and I don't see them ever getting any better than this.
>
> Sorry, Jerry -- you've been here before, and you've gotten out of it. Back then, you would have said the same thing: there's no hope, nothing will ever be any different, no one cares about me, etc. You've been here before, you've written the same words here before.
>
> And they weren't true then.
>
> Therefore, it's not such a risky bet that they won't be true now, either. Capiche?
>
> I'm terribly sorry that you're not doing well right now. Goodness knows I empathize with you, and I go into my own morass of morosity -- but that doesn't mean that it's always going to be this way. The only reason you believe that right now is that you're depressed! That's what depression is -- hopeless-colored glasses. Right now, you're wearing them. Next week, though, maybe you won't be. I know it doesn't feel as though there's any chance of that, but it didn't feel as though there was any chance LAST time you were in this space.
>
> But in between, you made some pretty amazing changes in your life, and you felt pretty hopeful. I know your Beast is telling you that the hope was a lie, but the Beast is the liar.
>
> Poor Jerry. I hope things turn around quickly for you this time. What are you doing to try to make that happen? Do you have an appointment set up yet with your pdoc, to discuss options?
>
> I hope you'll take care of yourself, maybe give yourself some sort of treat every day? I like Hershey's Kisses -- maybe something like that would at least remind you that you're worthy of chocolate?
>
> Good luck, and best wishes.I hate tough love and am not a big proponent of it - but the points you made were/are correct. I've lived through the worst of the worst - and I'm still alive. I just wish I didn't have these ongoing boughts. I'm going to talk to my doc about trying Lamictal to help stabilize.
thanks Racer
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on September 26, 2006, at 2:04:54
In reply to Re: Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK????, posted by finelinebob on August 25, 2006, at 20:22:04
> What irks me so much at times is that people think their virtual life is somehow less real than their "real" life. Lots of people say it, and not just here. But quite frankly, I have a number of virtual friends who have been truer to me than some real life "friends". Not that you've said that, Jerry, but...
>
> Jerry, you have friends here. No one, not any of us, can understand what you are going through, can feel what you feel, but we're travelled down different paths to the same locations and that can bond us more than any "normal" person IRL can.
>
> You have friends here. You have people who care about you here. And we'll never turn our backs on you or dismiss you. You'll find a way to turn the Hunter into the Hunted, and one day you'll be supporting others with your strength.
>
> I know this to be true. I have faith in you.great words. You're so right - our virtual friends can be just as good and reall - or veen better than our "real" friends. I have been a member of this board since the early 90's and have always gotten unconditional support. I wish I could thank everyone with all my heart. The support here is better than many of my supposed supportive friends who live near me. Funny how they can't return an email.
I lov eyou all
Posted by gardenergirl on September 26, 2006, at 8:29:56
In reply to Re: Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK???? » finelinebob, posted by JerryPharmStudent on September 26, 2006, at 2:04:54
You sound more hopeful. That's good.
I added Lamictal to Nardil some time ago. I'm on a fairly low dose. I just raised it, though, and after a rough time with irritability, it seems to be helping. I hope that whatever you try, you find some significant relief.
Take care,
gg
Posted by ed_uk on September 26, 2006, at 14:41:40
In reply to Re: Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK???? » finelinebob, posted by JerryPharmStudent on September 26, 2006, at 2:04:54
Dear Jerry
I'm so glad you posted. Hope to see you on MSN some time :)
Ed x
Posted by SLS on September 26, 2006, at 16:34:53
In reply to Re: Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK???? » JerryPharmStudent, posted by ed_uk on September 26, 2006, at 14:41:40
> Dear Jerry
>
> I'm so glad you posted. Hope to see you on MSN some time :)What's MSN?
Hi Jerry!
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on September 26, 2006, at 22:21:56
In reply to Re: Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK, posted by SLS on September 26, 2006, at 16:34:53
I chat to a few people on MSN. Google it you have to register. Love Jan
Posted by JerryPharmStudent on September 28, 2006, at 3:55:49
In reply to Re: Jerry, let us hear from you to know you are OK, posted by SLS on September 26, 2006, at 16:34:53
> > Dear Jerry
> >
> > I'm so glad you posted. Hope to see you on MSN some time :)
>
> What's MSN?
>
> Hi Jerry!
>
>
> - ScottMSN Messenger. It's like AIM or Yahoo Messenger.
This is the end of the thread.
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