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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 35 to 59 of 59. Go back in thread:
Posted by Mildred on June 23, 2005, at 17:29:26
In reply to Re: Down and out » Mildred, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 16:34:09
Maxime -
> (((Mildred))) You are so sweet! I would love to meet you in person!
I would love to meet you, too, Maxime! The closest I am to Canada is that I have a friend who is visitng Montreal right now . . . she is actually from there, but lives here now - I'm way down in Florida.
>
> No doubt about it's a good thing. But I am worried about my meds and not having a pdoc or even a regular doctor for several months. I guess I can go to a clinic or the ER if I have to.
I certainly understand that you are scared. I never had the guts to take any risks in my life, and, consequently, I have been kind of limited. Not that I have a bad life . . . I just often wish I had been a little daring. Perhaps things might be a bit more exciting.>
> Plus it's going to be a stressful job. I hope it doesn't through my body chemistry off too much and affect my meds. So I am scared from that perspective.
There is nothing wrong with being scared - as long as it's not keeping you from taking action. I think it is great that you have identified your fears and know how you will address them if a problem should arise. Now, the trick is to let go of them - a lot easier said than done, right?Do you have enough medication to keep you going until you actually do see a new doc? I know you are not secure with your meds at this point - can your current pdoc make some contacts for you in your new province - so that you might be able to have continuous access to a doctor should you need it?
Such an exciting (and scary!) time -
Warmly (literally - well, actually, it's only in the high 70's right now - a cold front!),
Mildred
Posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 17:34:25
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on June 22, 2005, at 23:03:15
Thank you Phillipa. I am not feeling good. However I am a high functioning depressive. My pdoc even said so. At one point he wanted to do a case study on me. So now the challenge is to keep up the act under stressful conditions. I've done it before. I know it's not healthy ... but what other choice do I have?
Nope, my mom will be staying behind. Actually, it's going to help me a lot to be away from her. That might help depression somewhat. We get along better when are miles between us! LOL! Sadly, I am leaving my dog. This is going to be hard. But there are reasons for this decisions. Still, she is my therapist and I am going to miss her terribly.
I'm still crashing from the Dexedrine so I am looking forward to Tuesday when I can try the Provigil. The dexedrine makes things better during day but worse at night. I have even been self injuring (ashamed).
Maxime
> Congratulations Maxie! I knew you would get the job. And you kept telling me that you really didn't feel good. Well, you must put on a pretty good act! I know what you mean about moving and getting new docs and all. Right now Greg and I are looking at doing the same thing. There are no jobs here. What about your Mother? Will she go with you? Congratulations to you Congratulations to you! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Mildred on June 23, 2005, at 17:38:40
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 17:34:25
How soon will you be moving? Do you have plenty of time to get done what you need to? Lots to do!
Mildred
Posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 17:41:15
In reply to Re: Down and out, posted by Declan on June 23, 2005, at 16:25:27
> My dr described it as butterflies in the stomach, so that could be seen as nausea, especially if severe. I'd call it agitation.
> Perhaps I can take enough to get some useful AD effect but not enough to get that.
> DeclanFor me butterflies in my stomach is when I am nervous. But nausea is "I want to throw up or I am going to throw up". I have a fear of throwing up so nausea is bad for me. When I tried Stattera the nausea was bad. That is one the reason why I stopped taking it.
I hope the med works out for Declan :-) Keep us posted. Not many people use the med so your feedback will be really helpful on psycho-babble.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 17:53:01
In reply to Re: Down and out » Maxime, posted by Mildred on June 23, 2005, at 17:29:26
Hi again Mildred!
I don't know if my doctor has any contacts. I am moving to a small town. Well compared to where I am now!
For 3 months I have to use the medicare card from my Province. I pay into a medication plan through my Province. So there is a price cap on what all my meds cost for the month (of course I am paying for this "insurance"). So for three months I am going to call the pharmacy for my refills and my mom is going to ship them off to me. There will be one month where I will have to pay out of pocket (ouch!) because my benefits at work don't kick for 4 months! It's going to be so expensive because I have asthma and the inhalers are expensive. Plus the mood stabiliser alone is over $100 and the AD is about that as well. I will have to shell out about $400! Not sure how I am going to afford it.
I guess I just have to trust that everything will work out. I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET SICK! I'll lose everything.
Hugs,
Maxime> Maxime -
>
> > (((Mildred))) You are so sweet! I would love to meet you in person!
>
> I would love to meet you, too, Maxime! The closest I am to Canada is that I have a friend who is visitng Montreal right now . . . she is actually from there, but lives here now - I'm way down in Florida.
>
> >
> > No doubt about it's a good thing. But I am worried about my meds and not having a pdoc or even a regular doctor for several months. I guess I can go to a clinic or the ER if I have to.
>
>
> I certainly understand that you are scared. I never had the guts to take any risks in my life, and, consequently, I have been kind of limited. Not that I have a bad life . . . I just often wish I had been a little daring. Perhaps things might be a bit more exciting.
>
> >
> > Plus it's going to be a stressful job. I hope it doesn't through my body chemistry off too much and affect my meds. So I am scared from that perspective.
>
>
> There is nothing wrong with being scared - as long as it's not keeping you from taking action. I think it is great that you have identified your fears and know how you will address them if a problem should arise. Now, the trick is to let go of them - a lot easier said than done, right?
>
> Do you have enough medication to keep you going until you actually do see a new doc? I know you are not secure with your meds at this point - can your current pdoc make some contacts for you in your new province - so that you might be able to have continuous access to a doctor should you need it?
>
> Such an exciting (and scary!) time -
>
> Warmly (literally - well, actually, it's only in the high 70's right now - a cold front!),
>
> Mildred
>
Posted by Phillipa on June 23, 2005, at 17:54:47
In reply to Re: Down and out » Declan, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 17:41:15
Maxime, I see your Babblemail is off. Is this just until the move is complete? Oh I almost forgot I have your E-mail. Unless you are changing it. So sorry you have to leave your dog. What kind is he/she/it? Is your Mother able to care for herself? 300 applicants! Wow! That's really something. But only a week to move? How will you do it? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on June 23, 2005, at 17:58:04
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 17:34:25
Sorry when I scrolled down the message board I thought your Babblemail was off. Now after checking I see it isn't. I wouldn't think you would shut it off when so many people want to congratulate you. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on June 23, 2005, at 22:18:09
In reply to Re: Down and out » 4WD, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 16:30:50
> Hi Marsha. I can't believe your doctor prescribed Zyprexa! Is he crazy? All the hard work you have been doing to recover and Zyprexa would undo it ALL.
>
> My BMI is in normal range ... which is FAT to me. I'm short so every pound shows. And I am pear shape. FAT PIG! At one point I had a BM1 of 12.
>
> I won't be seeing this pdoc again since I am moving. But I am going to ask him if I can call him if I need to talk. I don't know if he will agree or not, but I need something until I can set up support where I am going. I'm scared.
>
> Maxime
>
>
>
>
> >Maxime,
I am so happy for you about the new job. What do you do? And while having to move to a different province (especially in such a short time!) is definitely overwhelming-making, I think it's going to be great for you. Like someone posted above, new doctor, new ideas.
It seems to me like your current pdoc ought to be able to refer you to a new doc where you are going. Can't he do that? It just doesn't seem right that you have to start all over and wait months again. Can you ask him to give you a referral?
Yeah, the Zyprexa was awful. I had been in recovery for about two months, tried the Zyprexa for a week and was binging everyday again by the third day on it. After going off it, I was back in recovery within 3 or 4 days. "Let's just see about that depression, honey, and then you go on home and worry about your eating disorder on your own time." Jacka**es.
Marsha
Posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 22:53:03
In reply to Re: Down and out, posted by Phillipa on June 23, 2005, at 17:54:47
> Maxime, I see your Babblemail is off. Is this just until the move is complete? Oh I almost forgot I have your E-mail. Unless you are changing it. So sorry you have to leave your dog. What kind is he/she/it? Is your Mother able to care for herself? 300 applicants! Wow! That's really something. But only a week to move? How will you do it? Fondly, Phillipa
I'll babble mail you next week about it. I am actually going away until Sunday (so I will have 5 days to pack). I don't want Dr. Bob to throw this thread into social.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 23:00:20
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on June 23, 2005, at 13:48:39
> Hi Maxi :-)
>
> That's great news :-)
>
> >There were over 300 applicants for it!
>
> You're the BEST! What did I tell you :-D
>
> >So that means finding a new pdoc where I will be living.
>
> New pdoc = new ideas = hope for the future :-)
>
> Lots of love,
> Ed xxxThanks Ed. :-)
If only I didn't have to wait so long to get a pdoc. First I am going to have to wait to find GP.
I'm worried about it. I don't know if a doctor's prescription can be used in another province. I don't think it can. So I don't know how I will get my meds etc. It's going to be a bit of a nightmare.I can't wait until Tuesday to try the Provigil! I pray it won't make me crash like the dexedrine.
xxxxxx
Maxie
Posted by ed_uk on June 24, 2005, at 10:35:38
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » ed_uk, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 23:00:20
Hi Maxie!
>If only I didn't have to wait so long to get a pdoc. First I am going to have to wait to find GP.
Do you think you could get high-dose Manerix from a GP?
>I pray it won't make me crash like the dexedrine.
Me too :-D
Love,
Ed xxxx
Posted by TamaraJ on June 24, 2005, at 16:03:14
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » ed_uk, posted by Maxime on June 23, 2005, at 23:00:20
Maxime,
First, I want to offer you my congratulations on your new job. That is great news, although I can understand why it would be overwhelming at this time.
I also wanted to tell you that, in Ontario at least, there is a website for the College of Physicians and Surgeons (http://www.cpso.on.ca/ ), where you can do a search for doctors who are accepting new patients. I don't know what province you are moving to, but I would imagine that other provinces have a similar resource. Anyway, being able to make a few calls before moving may be useful as a starting point. And, if there is anything I can do to help you with research, I will be happy to do so.
Anyway, I am very happy for you. I hope everything starts working out for you.
All the best,
Tamara
Posted by Maxime on June 26, 2005, at 19:22:31
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » Maxime, posted by TamaraJ on June 24, 2005, at 16:03:14
Thanks Tamara, as usual you are a wealth of information and kindness.
Hugs,
Maxime
> Maxime,
>
> First, I want to offer you my congratulations on your new job. That is great news, although I can understand why it would be overwhelming at this time.
>
> I also wanted to tell you that, in Ontario at least, there is a website for the College of Physicians and Surgeons (http://www.cpso.on.ca/ ), where you can do a search for doctors who are accepting new patients. I don't know what province you are moving to, but I would imagine that other provinces have a similar resource. Anyway, being able to make a few calls before moving may be useful as a starting point. And, if there is anything I can do to help you with research, I will be happy to do so.
>
> Anyway, I am very happy for you. I hope everything starts working out for you.
>
> All the best,
>
> Tamara
>
Posted by Maxime on June 26, 2005, at 19:37:00
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on June 24, 2005, at 10:35:38
I think I would have trouble having a PDOC prescribe a dosage of Manerix ANYWHERE. My current pdoc is very open to my ideas. I have him to talk to my new pdoc if I ever get in to see one. Who knows, I might not make through the probation period. You never know. You know never know what life will throw at you. If I get an MS episode ... bye, bye job. But it will be bye, bye Maxie as well. That much as I know is true.
Maxime
> Hi Maxie!
>
> >If only I didn't have to wait so long to get a pdoc. First I am going to have to wait to find GP.
>
> Do you think you could get high-dose Manerix from a GP?
>
> >I pray it won't make me crash like the dexedrine.
>
> Me too :-D
>
> Love,
> Ed xxxx
Posted by ed_uk on June 26, 2005, at 20:04:41
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » ed_uk, posted by Maxime on June 26, 2005, at 19:37:00
Hi Maxie,
I sent you an email :-)
Ed xxx
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 26, 2005, at 23:15:18
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » ed_uk, posted by Maxime on June 26, 2005, at 19:37:00
Maxime,
You will make it through the probation period. You will do FINE. Don't borrow trouble that isn't there. That's my (sorry mind went blank no good word).
Live each day to the fullest. You can do this, I know you can!
MB
Posted by Mildred on June 26, 2005, at 23:26:47
In reply to Re: Down and out ... Now just overwhelmed » Maxime, posted by MidnightBlue on June 26, 2005, at 23:15:18
...Positively!
> Maxime,
>
> You will make it through the probation period. You will do FINE. Don't borrow trouble that isn't there. That's my (sorry mind went blank no good word).
>
> Live each day to the fullest. You can do this, I know you can!
>
> MB
Posted by Maxime on June 27, 2005, at 14:29:37
In reply to Absolutely . . . » MidnightBlue, posted by Mildred on June 26, 2005, at 23:26:47
Dear MB and Mildred.
It's very hard for me to positive when I have a mother who says things like "I hope you can handle it" ... "I hope you don't get sick" .... "You better work fast because you can be a slow worker" (I have no idea where that one came from) and whole host of other things. She has always been that way. Not much faith in me. If only she knew the things I have done.
So that's where the negativity comes from. I grew up with it. My dad was the one who believed in me. But he passed away a few years ago.
It's hard. But I will try.
Maxime
> ...Positively!
>
> > Maxime,
> >
> > You will make it through the probation period. You will do FINE. Don't borrow trouble that isn't there. That's my (sorry mind went blank no good word).
> >
> > Live each day to the fullest. You can do this, I know you can!
> >
> > MB
>
>
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 27, 2005, at 15:42:51
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . ., posted by Maxime on June 27, 2005, at 14:29:37
Maxime,
Sorry my dear, but you don't have an exclusive on mothers like that. You are fortunate your dad believed in you. If mine did, he didn't (doesn't) tell me. My grandfather was the one who encouraged me when I was growing up, and he is long gone. My husband has taken up his (can't come up with a word again!). I hate it that my mind won't work! Place? not the right word. I hate struggling for words.
But I don't believe him anymore, because it is no longer true.
When you move, write down all the little things your dad used to say to you and post them in the kitchen, on your bathroom mirror, etc. Then you will have a positive voice to listen to.
Hugs,
MB
Posted by 4WD on June 27, 2005, at 22:33:14
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . ., posted by Maxime on June 27, 2005, at 14:29:37
> Dear MB and Mildred.
>
> It's very hard for me to positive when I have a mother who says things like "I hope you can handle it" ... "I hope you don't get sick" .... "You better work fast because you can be a slow worker" (I have no idea where that one came from) and whole host of other things. She has always been that way. Not much faith in me. If only she knew the things I have done.
>
> So that's where the negativity comes from. I grew up with it. My dad was the one who believed in me. But he passed away a few years ago.
>
> It's hard. But I will try.
>
> Maxime
>
>
Maxime,My mom once told me (when I was in the middle of a deep depression) that she just didn't know what was going to become of me, that I must just be "sorry" (as in no account). She was wanting me to get a job and I could barely get my teeth brushed. I think I was about 23 at the time.
We just have to be here, all of us, for each other.
You've already proved how strong you are. How else could you have made it so long with all you'e had to deal with?
Marsha
Posted by Maxime on June 28, 2005, at 19:21:15
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . . » Maxime, posted by 4WD on June 27, 2005, at 22:33:14
> >
> Maxime,
>
> My mom once told me (when I was in the middle of a deep depression) that she just didn't know what was going to become of me, that I must just be "sorry" (as in no account). She was wanting me to get a job and I could barely get my teeth brushed. I think I was about 23 at the time.
>
> We just have to be here, all of us, for each other.
>
> You've already proved how strong you are. How else could you have made it so long with all you'e had to deal with?
>
> Marsha
>I know. I wish she did know about everything I have been through. When I was living in the U.S. I lost my job without notice (along with 20-25 %) of the staff (non profit). I didn't want to go back home. I felt like a failure and I just couldn't go on. I had already packed everything because I was moving and I thought well if I kill myself, at least everything will be packed and my family won't have to deal with it. The attempt didn't work. I spent days in ICU AND NO ONE CAME FROM HOME TO SEE ME! I finally got out of the hospital, depressed as anything, finished packing, hired movers, sat for 20 hours on a train because I couldn't afford a the place and arrived home. My stuff arrived a couple days later. I unpacked what I could and stored the rest. I did all this BY MYSELF. I should have been in the hospital. So I am not weak like she tells me I am.
And then the same as you I was going through a depression and she wanted me to work and I could barely move. I was in a catatonic state!! She doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand. I embarrass her I think. I don't know ....
Sigh parents. They don't mean to hurt us, but they can sometimes.
Maxime
Posted by 4WD on June 28, 2005, at 23:06:13
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . . » 4WD, posted by Maxime on June 28, 2005, at 19:21:15
>
> I know. I wish she did know about everything I have been through. When I was living in the U.S. I lost my job without notice (along with 20-25 %) of the staff (non profit). I didn't want to go back home. I felt like a failure and I just couldn't go on. I had already packed everything because I was moving and I thought well if I kill myself, at least everything will be packed and my family won't have to deal with it. The attempt didn't work. I spent days in ICU AND NO ONE CAME FROM HOME TO SEE ME! I finally got out of the hospital, depressed as anything, finished packing, hired movers, sat for 20 hours on a train because I couldn't afford a the place and arrived home. My stuff arrived a couple days later. I unpacked what I could and stored the rest. I did all this BY MYSELF. I should have been in the hospital. So I am not weak like she tells me I am.
>
> And then the same as you I was going through a depression and she wanted me to work and I could barely move. I was in a catatonic state!! She doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand. I embarrass her I think. I don't know ....
>
> Sigh parents. They don't mean to hurt us, but they can sometimes.
>
> Maxime
>
>
Yeah, I think my Mom was ashamed of me. Admittedly I was a mess. My room was a mess, I spent my time eating and watching TV. Stayed up all night and slept all day. And yet, I couldn't have done anything differently. I couldn't have done anything.And now she has Alzheimer's disease and it's my job to make sure her bills are paid and she has what she needs and to sell her house and use the money for her care and go visit her and cheer her up and buy her clothes. Ironic, isn't it?
I guess I sound angry but I don't really feel angry (though I expect it's lurking there somehwere). She's very sweet and it's very sad to see her so ruined. I just wish she could have recognized my disease and tried to help with as much compassion as I show her. But maybe she did the best she could. I asked her once why she told me I was "sorry" when I was obviously depressed and she said she was trying to help -- to get me to "snap out of it."
Non depressed people will never, ever understand.
Marsha
Posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2005, at 0:27:20
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . . » Maxime, posted by 4WD on June 28, 2005, at 23:06:13
Think back. That was the old way. Before people even knew there was such a thing as "real" depression. People just thought you should get over it. I think of my poor Mother who died at 48 when I was l7. No one knew the bad side effects of cortisone. She had a skin disease. I have grown children and I remember in nursing school one of my psych classes delt with children and what behavior of the parent had on their children. I thought "what have I done to my children?" Everything goes full circle. Your Mom did the best that she could with the knowledge that was available at the time. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2005, at 0:29:35
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . . » Maxime, posted by 4WD on June 28, 2005, at 23:06:13
It's sad that we have to come to PBabble to get the support we need. In my case it's my kids that didn't visit me in the hospital or come and help me. They just forget you. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on June 29, 2005, at 21:18:03
In reply to Re: Absolutely . . .Maxime, posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2005, at 0:29:35
> It's sad that we have to come to PBabble to get the support we need. In my case it's my kids that didn't visit me in the hospital or come and help me. They just forget you. Fondly, Phillipa
Yeah, it is sad. My husband just told me that sometimes it seems like all we talk about is how I'm feeling and how depressed/anxious/scared I am that day. I know he gets sick of it but not as sick as I do. I did ask him how he felt about my being depressed and anxious so much. I guess if you ask, you should be prepared for the answer.
Marsha
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