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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 17:08:02
In reply to Sitting here crying ..., posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 16:33:40
Dear Maxi,
Perhaps the L-tryptophan would help. Larry (who also lives in Canada) has posted some cheap sources on the alternative page. Do you think you will buy some?
Lots of love,
Ed xxx
Posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2005, at 17:09:58
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 17:08:02
It's just not a good day. And you will find a job. I know it! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 17:15:20
In reply to Sitting here crying ..., posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 16:33:40
>>SLS said: I found Zyprexa to be a good drug for my own psychiatric emergencies.
Have you got any chlorpromazine left Maxi? You could take 25mg. It will help you relax and treat your nausea.
Love Ed xx
Posted by rubenstein on May 30, 2005, at 17:24:27
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by SLS on May 30, 2005, at 16:57:04
I don't know you, but have been in a similiar place before. I think you are so strong for hanging on. Don't give that up. I would miss you around here, I love your insight on posts and the like. You can get through this.
take care
rubenstein
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:41:28
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by 4WD on May 30, 2005, at 16:53:06
Thanks Marsha. I've tried nardil before and I had a bad reaction. The reaction could have been from several things, but I am scared to take it again. And the weight gain SCARES me to death. It will worsen my eating disoder and cause a new set of problems. Even with the dexedrine I take now, it doesn't curb my appetite.
Maxime
> > I just don't know what to do. I am overwhelmed and my stress level is high. I just want to feel well and not have to take tons of pills or gain weight from them. I'm tired of living like this. I am anxious about getting a job. I feel like I am going to going throw up all the time.
> >
> > I want out of this hell. I've just had enough of everything and everyone. And there is no answer ... there isn't.
> >
> > Maxime
>
> Maxime,
>
> I know what you mean. I've felt that way so often in the last few months.
>
> Do you think you might at least try Nardil? Could you think of it as an emergency treatment for depression, acknowledge that you might gain some weight *temporarily* but you would lose it later when you went off? Or are you afraid it would worsen your eating disorder? Maybe your doc would prescribe something to keep that from happening. Did you say you take Dexedrine? Wouldn't that help allay any increased hunger effect you might get from Nardil?
>
> I figure you've probably been racing all the possibilites around in your head for ages and I probably haven't suggested anything you haven't already thought of and discarded. But know that I am thinking of you and wishing I could help.
>
> Please hang on.
>
> Marsha
>
>
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:46:33
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by SLS on May 30, 2005, at 17:06:42
You are right Scott. I just feel like I am running out of time. My employment insurance ends soon and then I will have no income at all.
I think in order to do any of the things you mentioned, I would have to take some of my Klonopin to calm me down enough to do these things. I try to distract myself by reading or writing or going for a walk, but the whole time I am thinking about my problems. Even if I go out with friends it's the same thing.
Thanks.
Maxime
> > Maxime
>
>
> Maxime, you MUST find a way to reduce your level of anxiety. Take a temporary vacation from the thoughts that plague you by doing something you enjoy or at least provides a distraction. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Read a book or magazine. Take a bubble-bath. If sufficiently distracted, your anxiety level will abate, and you will be able to think more clearly and perhaps reduce the size of the catastrophy that you feel overwhelmed by.
>
> If you have medication that can reduce anxiety temporarily, give that a try. For me, I found Zyprexa to be a good drug for my own psychiatric emergencies. I have never been in the hospital for depression or suicidality, even though I have been experiencing nothing but for years. I have found that anxiety is the killer, not the vegetative anergia of depression.
>
> Treat the anxiety now and leave the rest for later.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:48:22
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 17:08:02
> Dear Maxi,
>
> Perhaps the L-tryptophan would help. Larry (who also lives in Canada) has posted some cheap sources on the alternative page. Do you think you will buy some?
>
> Lots of love,
> Ed xxxI have had trypotophan prescribed to me. Would there be any advantage to using l-tryptophan or are they the exact same thing?
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:50:48
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 17:15:20
> >>SLS said: I found Zyprexa to be a good drug for my own psychiatric emergencies.
>
> Have you got any chlorpromazine left Maxi? You could take 25mg. It will help you relax and treat your nausea.
>
> Love Ed xxYes, I have some. But I really want to stay away from it so I can have my prolactin levels tested. If worse comes to worse I will take it. But maybe some clonazapam first. I'm typing and shaking right now.
xxxxx
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:51:59
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by rubenstein on May 30, 2005, at 17:24:27
> I don't know you, but have been in a similiar place before. I think you are so strong for hanging on. Don't give that up. I would miss you around here, I love your insight on posts and the like. You can get through this.
> take care
> rubenstein((( Rubenstein))) Thank you! That means so much to me.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:54:46
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2005, at 17:09:58
> It's just not a good day. And you will find a job. I know it! Fondly, Phillipa
No. Many of my days have been like this. I just didn't want to admit that I was starting to have problems with anxiety. I was trying to be positive about being able to restart the Parnate.
As for getting a job? Who knows ... all I do is send out resumes and make cold calls. Sigh. It's really discouraging.
Hugs,
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:56:17
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by Slinky on May 30, 2005, at 16:49:52
> > I just don't know what to do. I am overwhelmed and my stress level is high. I just want to feel well and not have to take tons of pills or gain weight from them. I'm tired of living like this. I am anxious about getting a job. I feel like I am going to going throw up all the time.
> >
> > I want out of this hell. I've just had enough of everything and everyone. And there is no answer ... there isn't.
>
> I'm in a similar hell : (
> Where is the hope.
>
> SlinkyI'm sorry to hear that Slinky. The thought of others feeling like this makes me feel even worse. I wish I could cure everyone.
Maxime
Posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 18:24:54
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » ed_uk, posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:48:22
Hi Maxi,
>Would there be any advantage to using l-tryptophan or are they the exact same thing?
Same thing :-)
Ed xxx
Posted by Declan on May 30, 2005, at 18:39:19
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 18:24:54
So is it like if you get an AD response to the Parnate your anxiety goes up? (swapping depression for anxiety?)
Posted by Slinky on May 30, 2005, at 18:49:54
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Slinky, posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:56:17
>
> I'm sorry to hear that Slinky. The thought of others feeling like this makes me feel even worse. I wish I could cure everyone.I'm so sorry Maxime ..I just can't help give positive feedback.
I'm taking a break until I can be of help.
Just saying you're not alone with your pain.Things do get better.
Slinky
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 19:29:12
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by Declan on May 30, 2005, at 18:39:19
No, the anxiety has been bad for a few months now. But it's getting worse as I come closer to the time when employment insurance runs out. I also worry about handling a job. I've only felt better depression wise for 2 and a half weeks now.I am worried that I might crumble under the stress of a job. But I want to work and I want it to be challenging.
Maxime
> So is it like if you get an AD response to the Parnate your anxiety goes up? (swapping depression for anxiety?)
Posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 19:30:57
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by ed_uk on May 30, 2005, at 18:24:54
I thought so, but I always wondering why people bought it from health food stores rather than by prescription.
Maxime
> Hi Maxi,
>
> >Would there be any advantage to using l-tryptophan or are they the exact same thing?
>
> Same thing :-)
>
> Ed xxx
>
>
Posted by willyee on May 30, 2005, at 19:33:24
In reply to Sitting here crying ..., posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 16:33:40
> I just don't know what to do. I am overwhelmed and my stress level is high. I just want to feel well and not have to take tons of pills or gain weight from them. I'm tired of living like this. I am anxious about getting a job. I feel like I am going to going throw up all the time.
>
> I want out of this hell. I've just had enough of everything and everyone. And there is no answer ... there isn't.
>
> MaximeDude im not gonna try to sugar coat things,your feelings are real,i personaly sometimes take comfort in knowing there might not be an answer but instead a shorter goal,to have my good days out number my bad,ive been there and know its possable,if you ever wanna wanna talk email me or yahoo messagner,the more people like u and i and others on the job the better we can have an aresnal to fight,you have been offering insight dont cheat us out of that.
Posted by 4WD on May 30, 2005, at 21:27:51
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » SLS, posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 17:46:33
> You are right Scott. I just feel like I am running out of time. My employment insurance ends soon and then I will have no income at all.
>
> I think in order to do any of the things you mentioned, I would have to take some of my Klonopin to calm me down enough to do these things. I try to distract myself by reading or writing or going for a walk, but the whole time I am thinking about my problems. Even if I go out with friends it's the same thing.
>
> Thanks.
>
> Maxime
>
>Maxime,
I understand. When you are tormented with anxiety and go for a walk then you turn into walking anxiety instead of sitting anxiety. But can you make the effort to find something to focus on? If you can see a bird and wonder what kind it is or listen to it, or see a flower and *make* yourself notice itclosely, the anxiety will lessen momemtarily. Maybe not much but at least enough to continue on to find something else to notice.
A big issue is that you get so tired of fighting it. Whole days are spent doing nothing except trying not to be anxious. And then the next day is just more of the same. I just want you to know I understand.
I promise you if you go to the gym and spend 35-40 minutes on the treadmill you will feel better. For me the anti anxiety effect from that lasts at least a couple of hours and sometimes all day. I know that's the last thing you feel like doing but can you make yourself try it?
Marsha
>
> > > Maxime
> >
> >
> > Maxime, you MUST find a way to reduce your level of anxiety. Take a temporary vacation from the thoughts that plague you by doing something you enjoy or at least provides a distraction. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Read a book or magazine. Take a bubble-bath. If sufficiently distracted, your anxiety level will abate, and you will be able to think more clearly and perhaps reduce the size of the catastrophy that you feel overwhelmed by.
> >
> > If you have medication that can reduce anxiety temporarily, give that a try. For me, I found Zyprexa to be a good drug for my own psychiatric emergencies. I have never been in the hospital for depression or suicidality, even though I have been experiencing nothing but for years. I have found that anxiety is the killer, not the vegetative anergia of depression.
> >
> > Treat the anxiety now and leave the rest for later.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2005, at 22:02:06
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by 4WD on May 30, 2005, at 21:27:51
I used to jog and it worked wonders. Now my back is too sore to jog. I've tried. And I hate the treadmill and eliptical. I think concentrating on a bird it what is known as being in the moment. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by MidnightBlue on May 30, 2005, at 22:43:33
In reply to Sitting here crying ..., posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 16:33:40
Maxime,
I'm sitting here crying with you.........
Hugs,
MB
Posted by gardenergirl on May 31, 2005, at 2:46:58
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by MidnightBlue on May 30, 2005, at 22:43:33
I wish I could be there to offer you tissues and a shoulder to cry on. I know you've been frustrated at each turn. You've got tremendous resilience, whether you can feel it or not. I have faith in you.
Anxiety can be so debilitating and it's such a drain on the body. Others have made good suggestions for distraction and exercise. Can you do something about your worry? Some people find that writing it out helps to decrease the thoughts, kind of like a "brain dump." Some do well by scheduling "worry time". When the time comes, you sit and worry for the allotted time, whether you currently have worry on your mind or not. And then later, if worry creeps back in, you remind yourself that you have to save it for the allotted time. Meditation is good, too. It takes practice, and the goal is not to "think nothing" but rather to become skilled at refocusing when you become distracted. There are phsyiological benefits to meditation as well. Your blood pressure, respiration, and heart rate can all lower, allowing the body time to rest and heal. In additon, there is evidence that it can lower blood cortisol levels over time. My guess is that your pump is primed with cortisol if anxiety has been present for months.
And then there's therapy. I don't remember you posting anything about therapy. Forgive me if I missed it. Do you have the opportunity for this or are you already in therapy? I know this has helped me, perhaps more than Nardil, in dealing with my own fears.
Sending you calming energy...
Hang in there.
gg
Posted by Nickengland on May 31, 2005, at 4:12:53
In reply to Sitting here crying ..., posted by Maxime on May 30, 2005, at 16:33:40
Maxine,
Have you thought that maybe you taking anti-depressants is not such a good idea as you continue to cycle up and down all the time?
There is the theory that anti-depressants make bipolar worse, by the sounds of things this could be happening to you?
I found this was the case for me, they give you a false happiness or hope then it crashes - up down, up down, up down etc etc. Now I dont touch them thats one problem I dont have to deal with anymore.
Remember theres no overnight "fix" for this. It takes time...I would definately consider stopping anti-depressants.
Kind regards
Nick
Posted by Maxime on May 31, 2005, at 10:06:24
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ..., posted by 4WD on May 30, 2005, at 21:27:51
I plan to go out on my bike today for an hour. The weather is finally nice. And I just got two job interviews!
Maxime
> Maxime,
>
> I understand. When you are tormented with anxiety and go for a walk then you turn into walking anxiety instead of sitting anxiety. But can you make the effort to find something to focus on? If you can see a bird and wonder what kind it is or listen to it, or see a flower and *make* yourself notice itclosely, the anxiety will lessen momemtarily. Maybe not much but at least enough to continue on to find something else to notice.
>
> A big issue is that you get so tired of fighting it. Whole days are spent doing nothing except trying not to be anxious. And then the next day is just more of the same. I just want you to know I understand.
>
> I promise you if you go to the gym and spend 35-40 minutes on the treadmill you will feel better. For me the anti anxiety effect from that lasts at least a couple of hours and sometimes all day. I know that's the last thing you feel like doing but can you make yourself try it?
>
> Marsha
>
>
>
>
>
> >
> > > > Maxime
> > >
> > >
> > > Maxime, you MUST find a way to reduce your level of anxiety. Take a temporary vacation from the thoughts that plague you by doing something you enjoy or at least provides a distraction. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Read a book or magazine. Take a bubble-bath. If sufficiently distracted, your anxiety level will abate, and you will be able to think more clearly and perhaps reduce the size of the catastrophy that you feel overwhelmed by.
> > >
> > > If you have medication that can reduce anxiety temporarily, give that a try. For me, I found Zyprexa to be a good drug for my own psychiatric emergencies. I have never been in the hospital for depression or suicidality, even though I have been experiencing nothing but for years. I have found that anxiety is the killer, not the vegetative anergia of depression.
> > >
> > > Treat the anxiety now and leave the rest for later.
> > >
> > >
> > > - Scott
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Maxime on May 31, 2005, at 10:08:32
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » 4WD, posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2005, at 22:02:06
> I used to jog and it worked wonders. Now my back is too sore to jog. I've tried. And I hate the treadmill and eliptical. I think concentrating on a bird it what is known as being in the moment. Fondly, Phillipa
I used to run and jog as well but I was a compulsive exerciser. Now it's much harder to get out and make myself do these things. My doctor keeps telling to as well. And I know I should also take up yoga.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on May 31, 2005, at 10:09:41
In reply to Re: Sitting here crying ... » Maxime, posted by MidnightBlue on May 30, 2005, at 22:43:33
> Maxime,
>
> I'm sitting here crying with you.........
>
>
> Hugs,
> MB((( MB ))) Everything is hard, I know.
Maxime
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