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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Eljakeo25 on October 28, 2004, at 18:02:37
After having that impulsive episode I described the other day, my mood is not and I feel like a worthless student with no hope a good future. I may need an anti convulsant in replace of the Risperdal to control impulsivity. My adderall tolerance has increased to 90mg a day. Not because I am dependent or crave it, I am using it to fight off the impulsive thougts and depressive tendencies that the other medications are suppossed to be for. I would only take 15-30mg of adderall at a time, but I am sick of my behavior and I am fighting it. But it's wining (btw, no side effects with the adderall at that dose, good blood pressure, and fall asleep fast. But I think the hospital would be a good place to go to trial an anti convusant. I look around on campus, and I seem like other people have it made mentally, focused, happy, in love, and euphoric ALL WITHOUT MEDS. And there a lot further than me in their studies, why does god bless them and god seems to torture me. Sorry I am feeling low right now.
Posted by linkadge on October 28, 2004, at 18:20:50
In reply to Hospitalization, posted by Eljakeo25 on October 28, 2004, at 18:02:37
I was in your exact situation 2 months ago. I did go to the hospital and I did get better.
I too am in school, and was feeling impulsive and suicidal (not a good combination). Anyhow doing a little bit better.
Certtainly go to the hospital if you feel it necessary. Regular medication and monitoring, and nutritious meals was exactly what I needed.
Linkadge
Posted by Peddidle on October 28, 2004, at 18:55:11
In reply to Re: Hospitalization, posted by linkadge on October 28, 2004, at 18:20:50
I know how you feel.
I am a college student as well. I had been on 200mg of zoloft for about 5yrs, but I wasn't seeing a psychiatrist, my dad is a doctor and he had been prescribing the pills for me. I finally decided it was time to see an actual psychiatrist. I have, and recently I have been weaning down the zoloft-- 150mg for a week, 100mg for about 3 weeks, and today is my second day on 50mg. My doctor also gave me straterra yesterday. I am really happy about that because I am so frustrated with everything because I can't concentrate or focus. Every time I try to sit down and study or write a paper, nothing gets done. I am failing all my classes as of now. I was suspended after last semester, but I got a "retroactive" health leave, so my F's were turned into W's (withrawals) and I was allowed to return this semester. I have decidedd that if I get suspended again, I'm just not going to come back. It was so hard over the summer when I thought I was suspended....for a few days, I almost didn't survive it....
Unfortunately, the straterra won't start working until I reach a higher dose in like 3-6 weeks.....If I am suspended, telling my parents will be the hardest thing in the world.Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your post, but my advice to you is this: Every college has a type of counseling center where you can go for free to talk to a therapist and/or psychiatrist. I have been going there recently. It is really helpful. At the very least, it gives you a non-judgemental environment where you can cry, or cmplain, or just VENT. I haven't been going for very long, but I am hoping it will help, and I would recommend it to anyone.
Again, sorry for hijacking your post, I really didn't mean to.
Best of luck to you!
Posted by Eljakeo25 on October 28, 2004, at 21:55:26
In reply to Re: Hospitalization, posted by Peddidle on October 28, 2004, at 18:55:11
You did no you did not hijack my post. It is nice to know that I am not the only college student struggling academically when we are smart and academic passionate just like the graduate students who seem to be Euphoric 100% of the time and not have to take ANY medication. Again it seems like I would have to take 90mg of adderall all at once (which I don't) to feel briefly what they feel normally every day without meds. And yet we all take these meds to try to feel what they feel normally without meds and they probably have 10 times more neurotransmitters in their brains than medications will ever give us. Thats why it seems like some of them are able to follow there dreams and always live a happy life with success. If you are depressed, wouldn't make sense that the feeling normal would be a Euphoric experience? Why can't they develop medications that release huge amounts of serotonin, NE, and Dopamine to really make us not depressed? Just like the people who aren't depressed and feel normal have going on in their brains. Just my theory, not offending others where anti depressants really helped them. But why arn't there more powerful antidpressants. For example. As strong as XTC (never tried it) but that is non addictive, and does not damage your brain cells.
Posted by Peddidle on October 28, 2004, at 22:03:40
In reply to Re: Hospitalization, posted by Eljakeo25 on October 28, 2004, at 21:55:26
OMG it's like you're reading my mind! It's not fair...I wish I had the right (amount) brain chemicals...
It's sooo good to know I'm not alone. I have always felt like I was it only one. It's kind of refreshing to know that there are other people who have the same problems I do.
Posted by linkadge on October 29, 2004, at 8:40:19
In reply to Re: Hospitalization, posted by Peddidle on October 28, 2004, at 22:03:40
Some of the smartest people suffer mental illness too. I think the intellegence and sucess of a person is independant of their emotional state.
Some propose that intellegence is derived from the complexity of the connections between neurons in the brain. Smart people probably have thick and dense connections throughout the brain. It is probably unrelated to the level of neurotransmitters. I think the most sucessful people simply don't care about sucess. Kind of like the people who live the longest are the ones who aren't really worried about dying.
Life is unfair, and sometimes it is difficult to find who or what to blame.
Just random babbling.
Linkadge
Posted by lostforwards on October 29, 2004, at 8:59:28
In reply to Hospitalization, posted by Eljakeo25 on October 28, 2004, at 18:02:37
in my case because god is "THE MAN" and he comes to screw up people with meds... ( long story ) ... I used to be a euphoric bipolar... now I've been screwed by a high dose of Risperdal, a low dose of phenothiazine, and fucked up sleeping patterns. I think the doctor did it on purpose because I WASN'T taking my meds before and was trying to find other ways to stabilize my mood. This was to ensure that I don't go too euphoric even if I'm off them.
Is that possible? I think it is, and I think it was done to me.
Posted by SLS on October 29, 2004, at 9:53:49
In reply to smart people don't really have more neurotransmitt, posted by linkadge on October 29, 2004, at 8:40:19
But they might have more glial cells.
- Scott
Posted by linkadge on October 29, 2004, at 10:35:32
In reply to Re: smart people don't really have more neurotransmitt, posted by SLS on October 29, 2004, at 9:53:49
You are probably right.
I think it was suggested that BDNF and intellegence was linked together. BDNF injections had antidepressant and memory/intellegence inhancing effects.
I think that intellegent people's brain's are more plastic than depressed and/or cognativly impaired brains.
Linkadge
Posted by denise1904 on October 31, 2004, at 10:11:57
In reply to Re: Hospitalization, posted by Eljakeo25 on October 28, 2004, at 21:55:26
But what makes you think that happy people just have lots more of the neurotransmitter Serotonin, Dopamine etc, what makes you think it's that simple??
I think really the problem is not about coming up with more powerful drugs it's about the scientific world coming up with a better understanding of what the biological/physiological causes really are. I'm no longer content just to keep substituting stronger pills when the previous ones stop working without wanting to know what the fundamental problems are.
Like having a car with a faulty engine, you don't just keep topping the oil to compensate you find out what's wrong with the engine itself and fix that and I think there needs to be a lot more research on this.
To be honest I'm scared, I'm almost 40 and two years ago, I felt like I was ready to die (without an obvious reason why) and I'm scared what I'll be like when I'm 60 but hopefully I'll just no longer be here.
Denise
Posted by Eljakeo25 on October 31, 2004, at 16:49:20
In reply to Re: To Eljakeo25, posted by denise1904 on October 31, 2004, at 10:11:57
You have a good point!. When I started this thread I was having continued irrational perceptions about my peers. But now that I am feeling better, I can see it in the more rational way you put it. It is so hard not to compare yourself to others, exspecially in a college community where it always "seems" your like the only one with mental illness and "it seems" like no one else has to take drugs and are always "happy go lucky" You have seen some of my disorder in progress throughout this thread, and fortunately I did not need hospitalization this time because I was not a true threat to myself or others. I guess it is easy for other college students to put up a "front" to make it look like they have all the dopamine in the world flowing through their brains, when they could be as miserable or worse than me, despite whether their succeeding or not. My disorder does not allow me to put up a front and I display my anger in an impulsive way, similar to Borderline Personality, but not quite (more like ADHD). I may enroll in an intense DBT like therapy along with continued response to my medications. Thanks Denise for reminding me the rational way =)
This is the end of the thread.
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