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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by underthecs on September 5, 2004, at 17:39:44
anyone know
Posted by Racer on September 5, 2004, at 18:29:21
In reply to lethal dosage of ativan, posted by underthecs on September 5, 2004, at 17:39:44
If there is one, you won't be able to get your hands on it. The LD_50 of these drugs is so high that not only will no doctor come close to prescribing enough, even if you could get your hands on it you couldn't swallow enough to do it.
That said, the policy of this site says that, even if there is a lethal dose of a medication, we can't tell you. That's part of the contract we all have here -- we won't help anyone sign off. (Or, in my own view, if I have to be this miserable, so do you. :^) Sorry.)
My advice for you, since you're asking this question, is to find a source of safety for yourself until you no longer want to ask this question. Whether that means calling a family member, a friend, a priest, or checking into a hospital depends on your situation. Please choose the best course to ensure your safety, and act on it.
Best wishes.
Posted by zeugma on September 5, 2004, at 19:54:58
In reply to No can do » underthecs, posted by Racer on September 5, 2004, at 18:29:21
That said, the policy of this site says that, even if there is a lethal dose of a medication, we can't tell you. That's part of the contract we all have here -- we won't help anyone sign off. (Or, in my own view, if I have to be this miserable, so do you. :^) Sorry.)>
racer, thanks for the incisive phrasing, now that chemist is taking an unpaid vacation we don't get enough of that around here
:)
-z
Posted by underthecs on September 5, 2004, at 22:21:16
In reply to No can do » underthecs, posted by Racer on September 5, 2004, at 18:29:21
but alcohol will considerably lower the necessary amount, right?
Posted by 4WD on September 5, 2004, at 22:42:29
In reply to Re: No can do » Racer, posted by underthecs on September 5, 2004, at 22:21:16
> but alcohol will considerably lower the necessary amount, right?
There is no way to calculate this for sure. You could just end up with severe neurological deficits.Please, call someone. There has got to be some reason you can find to wait. I know that having the option in the back of my mind has helped me get through some tough times. So, can you just decide to wait for now, reserve the option, but for right now, get some help. You can always decide later, right?
Marsha
Posted by crazychickuk on September 6, 2004, at 6:17:10
In reply to Re: No can do » underthecs, posted by 4WD on September 5, 2004, at 22:42:29
You can end up brain dead...
Posted by Piquet on September 6, 2004, at 7:19:17
In reply to No can do » underthecs, posted by Racer on September 5, 2004, at 18:29:21
> If there is one, you won't be able to get your hands on it. The LD_50 of these drugs is so high that not only will no doctor come close to prescribing enough, even if you could get your hands on it you couldn't swallow enough to do it.
>
> That said, the policy of this site says that, even if there is a lethal dose of a medication, we can't tell you. That's part of the contract we all have here -- we won't help anyone sign off. (Or, in my own view, if I have to be this miserable, so do you. :^) Sorry.)
>
> My advice for you, since you're asking this question, is to find a source of safety for yourself until you no longer want to ask this question. Whether that means calling a family member, a friend, a priest, or checking into a hospital depends on your situation. Please choose the best course to ensure your safety, and act on it.
>
> Best wishes.Underthecs, Racer has put the position perfectly, and I thank him for that. You aren't alone in having major problems, and there are workable solutions for many of us. Sure, it takes time and effort, but isn't it worth checking out the possibilities as a last resort? Personally, I'm no stranger to suicidal ideation, but, paradoxically, I always wanted to live. Stay with us and check things out. There are folks here who have a much deeper understanding of psychology and/or pharmacology than I do, and they are more than happy to talk to you about possibilities. I wish you well.
Piquet.
Posted by underthecs on September 6, 2004, at 7:45:54
In reply to Re: No can do, posted by Piquet on September 6, 2004, at 7:19:17
i'm not new to this either. i have been dealing with depression and suicidal ideations for 20 years and am just tired of living. but now i'm reading that benzos aren't the way to go. that's good information. i will have to research something else.
Posted by linkadge on September 6, 2004, at 8:18:20
In reply to Re: No can do » Piquet, posted by underthecs on September 6, 2004, at 7:45:54
How about researching more powerfull and effective treatments. This site is the site, if you want to find out the *killer - big gun therapies*
Bet you havn't tried:
1) ECT followed by all famous lithium-
nortryptaline combo2) ECT followed by nardil/parnate augmented with
inositol and omega 33) cymbalta augemnted with mirapex, and trazedone.
4) Calefornia rocket fuel - effexor/remeron combo.
5) ECT followed by mifesteprone and BDNF
injections - still waiting for that one:)6) Celexa/Wellbutrin augmeted with tyrosine and
5-htp7) deprenyl with phenylalanine.
And the list goes on. Stick around and get ideas to take back to your doctor.
Linkadge
Posted by underthecs on September 6, 2004, at 9:24:19
In reply to Re: No can do, posted by linkadge on September 6, 2004, at 8:18:20
> How about researching more powerfull and effective treatments. This site is the site, if you want to find out the *killer - big gun therapies*
nope, just really want to be DEAD, but thanks
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 6, 2004, at 10:29:47
In reply to No can do » underthecs, posted by Racer on September 5, 2004, at 18:29:21
Posted by nicolas on September 6, 2004, at 19:29:27
In reply to Re: No can do » linkadge, posted by underthecs on September 6, 2004, at 9:24:19
Hello,
I've known despair these last few years but it is my belief that faith and attention to the world around us can revive the spirit. Why not write poems, hop trains, read Anna Karenina, voulenteer at a homeless shelter, walk in the mountains or visit the beach? If you stay in motion you will be inspired. Please don't give up hope. Despair is stubborn and there's nothing to say to it ... if you insist on hiding behind despair it will be hard if not impossible to live ... a life in despair is probably more lifeless than death is ... but thankfully you can still chose to walk out into the light and be creative. Don't give up! There's a whole world out there.
Posted by iris2 on September 7, 2004, at 9:11:23
In reply to Re: No can do » linkadge, posted by underthecs on September 6, 2004, at 9:24:19
> > nope, just really want to be DEAD, but thanks
Feel the same way most of the time. Thing is several times after failed tries I was mad at first then very determined to find a better place and even if it was just a bit better it made a huge difference. Then I am looking forward instead of down and glad to be able to do it. Just my own personal experience and the perspective I have gotten from it.A lot of people with failed attempts are glad of their failures at some further point in time. Shame would be if you do not fail and do not have that opportunity. So I thought I would share mine with you so that you might not feel the need so desperately to try this for yourself.
Our lives are relatively short. No matter how terrible yours is it can only get better! Given the short duration to suffer through it and have the possibility that it might become better why not? I know it does not seem worth it right now but you really have little to loose.
Forget how miserable you are and make it your entire purpose to make it better for you or for others.
I have gone through this on and off for 30 years. A lot of the time it seems like why go through all this for perhaps a moment or two of being just okay. But as I stated, in my better times I figure why not?
Hope I did not bore you too much. I just went through an episode a few weeks ago so this is very fresh in my mind.
irene
Posted by underthecs on September 8, 2004, at 20:27:50
In reply to Re: No can do » underthecs, posted by iris2 on September 7, 2004, at 9:11:23
JUST KILL ME PLEASE. NOTHING MAKES IT BETTER. I AM AN EMPTY SHELL OF A PERSON. I AM TOO AFRAID TO KILL MYSELF. BUT I WANT TO. I WANT TO A LOT AND TOO OFTEN.
Posted by iris2 on September 8, 2004, at 21:45:55
In reply to AAARGGHHHH, posted by underthecs on September 8, 2004, at 20:27:50
I feel responsible since you responded to me. Well I put a lot of people through hell so I guess it is my turn:)
> NOTHING MAKES IT BETTER.
Makes what better? How can I answer you if you are not communicating?
>I AM AN EMPTY SHELL OF A PERSON.
So am I. Really I am not joking. You've got a starting point anyway:\
> JUST KILL ME PLEASE.
>I AM TOO AFRAID TO KILL MYSELF. BUT I WANT TO. I WANT TO A LOT AND TOO OFTEN.
Okay you want to be dead. What if you don't want to be dead tomorrow or next week?
Honestly most of the time I would prefer not to be around but once in a while I am glad for a moment or an hour that I am.You are not communicating much about what exactly is actually making you feel this way. What is? Who is? Why?
Are you talking to anyone in more specific terms? Even if it is just to vent? It is easier just to block it all out and wish for a way out I know. It is not easy to try but it might be worth it at least for a moment here and there. None of us here have it easy.>My advice for you, since you're asking this question, is to find a source of safety for yourself until you no longer want to ask this question. Whether that means calling a family member, a friend, a priest, or checking into a hospital depends on your situation. Please choose the best course to ensure your safety, and act on it.>>
I hope you do this. Nothing is so important in any life to feel this way. Give yourself a break.
Posted by 4WD on September 8, 2004, at 22:46:18
In reply to AAARGGHHHH, posted by underthecs on September 8, 2004, at 20:27:50
> JUST KILL ME PLEASE. NOTHING MAKES IT BETTER. I AM AN EMPTY SHELL OF A PERSON. I AM TOO AFRAID TO KILL MYSELF. BUT I WANT TO. I WANT TO A LOT AND TOO OFTEN.
I know. I understand. I'm scared to death to kill myself but sometimes I really just get so tired of trying. I go on because I have hope it will get better. I want to just have the pain end.
Are you on meds? What are you on? Do you have a doctor? Can you change meds? Can you go to a hospital or ER and ask for help? Irene is right. In a year, you might not want to be dead. You can come here for help. Talk to us. Tell us more what you are feeling and why.
Marsha
Posted by iris2 on September 11, 2004, at 0:16:25
In reply to AAARGGHHHH, posted by underthecs on September 8, 2004, at 20:27:50
It's 1:15am september 11th. Where are you? Hope you are doing better.
irene
Posted by rearview111 on September 12, 2007, at 23:39:27
In reply to Re: No can do, posted by linkadge on September 6, 2004, at 8:18:20
it never ends. never, ever ends. i've tried almost all meds. but when your husband cheats and then makes your life not worth living. he turns your children against you, he turns the financial mess he made into your problem, he only lies when he opens his mouth, after 2 years of separation he is still fighting the divorce <must be due to his guilt trip, his brain injury, his hatred of me>. i'm tired of being scared. i found someone, we had been together for seven months and then last night he doesn't come home, he is sleeping with his old ex-wife. i am afraid of my ex. he puts nails in my tires. he turns my children against me. after 17 years of marriage all he wants to do is to destroy me. i am so very very tired. no more. i went back to school but with the problems that keep slapping me in the face, i see no hope. why live? why live when, if it is a good year, i might be lucky and have 20 out of 365 days that could be called good or to clarify it even more...the 20 days are not necessarily good but they wouldn't be considered bad. i have no family that cares. i have no family within 500 miles. i have a few friends but they can't make the problems go away. like being overbilled by my attorney by $2000, like my home will be reposseed for back taxes due to my ex, my credit is ruined due to the ex racking up over 70K in debt in under a year. i was a stay at home soccer mom, a meals on wheels volunteer, a school volunteer, a t-ball coach. i gave and gave and gave. And now there is nothing left. i am all alone, i can't tell people, i am a student and it would prevent me from getting into my specialized program that is if I make it. I have a health problem, it needs a biopsy. why bother? just let me go away. go away, where there is no more pain. my time is over, i've done my job, now let me go Lord. Please. NO MORE Pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please take me away. please. i have no more strength left. i've been trying...the old saying-fake it until you make it. well, i have been faking it but the smile never reaches inside of me. there is no hope. no way out. no one who loves me no one who cares. please let me die
Posted by Kat26 on September 16, 2007, at 10:26:53
In reply to Re: No can do, posted by rearview111 on September 12, 2007, at 23:39:27
Dear Rearview, you have soooooo much on your plate. And then the person you love not coming home to you, that probably was the straw that broke the camels back? It sounds like you are barely holding on. Please do keep holding on though. Try to let go of the scary thoughts, all the mess... try to live JUST NOW. You can always make it through another minute. Right where you are right now (sitting in front of a computer, reading this?) you can be at peace. Right at this moment.
> it never ends. never, ever ends.
That is not true. Is absloutely really not true.
But: It can FEEL like this.
That is why depression can be so dangerous!!> he turns your children against you, he turns
> the financial mess he made into your problem,
> he only lies when he opens his mouth, after 2
> years of separation he is still fighting the
> divorceThat is sad. And difficult. Too much to even think about all at once. really, too much on your plate. Need to put some back for now so you can digest things slowly. And some of these things - well, it sounds like most of these things!! - are all about him, not you.
> i went back to school but with the problems
> that keep slapping me in the face, i see no
> hope.There IS hope. Hope cannot die. It can hide, yes, but not die.
It sounds like going back to school was something you really wanted to do for yourself. Something to put some goals/purpose/structure into your life. Try to stick with it (but without stressing yourself out. And, of course, since I don't know you at all, this is only assuming that it is something that is good for you!!)> why live? why live when, if it is a good year, > i might be lucky and have 20 out of 365 days
> that could be called good:-( That is not much. But you are talking frome xperience of the past, and the past DOES NOT predict the future.
> i have a few friends but they can't make the
> problems go away.No. But I am very glad you have them.
> i was a stay at home soccer mom, a meals on
> wheels volunteer, a school volunteer, a t-ball > coach. i gave and gave and gave.(((((((HUGS)))))) You must eb a wonderful person.
> And now there is nothing left.
YOU are left. And all the good memories - they don't get erased by what happened after. And all the good you did for other people. Just think about it. You mayy have changed lives that you aren't aware of!! :-)
> I have a health problem, it needs a biopsy.
> why bother?Because you are important!!!
> my time is over, i've done my job, now let me > go Lord. Please.
We never know when our time has come.
There are times in life when it feels like we would rather not go on, but mostly that is because the pain is just so strong... the lowest points of ourlives... the curve of our lives going down down down... reaching the lowest point... but then it will go up again. I wrote a poem once that had the verse in it: "If only you could have lived to see this, if only you could have waited a little longer."
Light may be just around the corner.> i have no more strength left.
You need to rest. Be really easy on yourself. Strength is not something that can't come back.
Please hold on.
(((((HUGS))))))) and sending a prayer your way...Kat
This is the end of the thread.
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