Posted by rearview111 on September 12, 2007, at 23:39:27
In reply to Re: No can do, posted by linkadge on September 6, 2004, at 8:18:20
it never ends. never, ever ends. i've tried almost all meds. but when your husband cheats and then makes your life not worth living. he turns your children against you, he turns the financial mess he made into your problem, he only lies when he opens his mouth, after 2 years of separation he is still fighting the divorce <must be due to his guilt trip, his brain injury, his hatred of me>. i'm tired of being scared. i found someone, we had been together for seven months and then last night he doesn't come home, he is sleeping with his old ex-wife. i am afraid of my ex. he puts nails in my tires. he turns my children against me. after 17 years of marriage all he wants to do is to destroy me. i am so very very tired. no more. i went back to school but with the problems that keep slapping me in the face, i see no hope. why live? why live when, if it is a good year, i might be lucky and have 20 out of 365 days that could be called good or to clarify it even more...the 20 days are not necessarily good but they wouldn't be considered bad. i have no family that cares. i have no family within 500 miles. i have a few friends but they can't make the problems go away. like being overbilled by my attorney by $2000, like my home will be reposseed for back taxes due to my ex, my credit is ruined due to the ex racking up over 70K in debt in under a year. i was a stay at home soccer mom, a meals on wheels volunteer, a school volunteer, a t-ball coach. i gave and gave and gave. And now there is nothing left. i am all alone, i can't tell people, i am a student and it would prevent me from getting into my specialized program that is if I make it. I have a health problem, it needs a biopsy. why bother? just let me go away. go away, where there is no more pain. my time is over, i've done my job, now let me go Lord. Please. NO MORE Pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please take me away. please. i have no more strength left. i've been trying...the old saying-fake it until you make it. well, i have been faking it but the smile never reaches inside of me. there is no hope. no way out. no one who loves me no one who cares. please let me die
poster:rearview111
thread:386816
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070911/msgs/782584.html