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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by octiigon on November 13, 2003, at 6:18:56
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » Flipsactown, posted by katia on November 13, 2003, at 0:37:10
I don't know if I'd really consider taking meds right off the bat... especially with your age you never know what it could be messing with. You may feel embarrassed... but there is absolutely nothing wrong with opening and wanting to see a therapist. In my opinion, if everyone saw a therapist everything would be alot better. Not to mention you'll suffer for years and years if you don't seek help.... and eventually feel like your completely at the end of your rope.
The sooner you seek help... the easier it'll be to "fix" the problems. Just try the therapy first.... sometimes that's enough to blow away those nasty dark clouds that plague your mind.
Posted by LynneDa on November 13, 2003, at 9:10:54
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 12, 2003, at 15:28:37
Hi! Glad you're still posting. This is going to be less supportive and more instructive than most posts. Hope that's okay. Let me see if I can summarize some things for you, maybe it will help.
It sounds like you have 3 basic issues (that are all VERY normal feelings by the way!!):
1. You're unhappy & Depressed - beyond normal sadness.
2. You're scared to talk to anyone about it due to fear of embarrassment and rejection.
3. You're sad that you don't have the love & understanding about your condition that you deserve and that you're getting from total strangers on this board!You know what you're options are:
1. Call the hotline number and see what free, confidential resources there are in your area
2. Start the difficult process of talking to those around you and risk embarrassment in order to see how they'll react
3. Call your own doctor and see what he/she can do for you, confidentially.Your immediate problem right now seems to be getting over the "stigma" of feeling this way and needing help. If you reach out to others near you, it will be hard at first, I can't deny that fact! It may take time for them to come around. In your current frame of mind, I know the energy that may take seems overwhelming. That is why you may need to get strong first in order to have the courage to reach out for the help that will give you long-term peace.
So, keep writing to us, keep talking to the one friend you've confided in. I remember what it's like to be your age and it is hard, no matter where you are mentally! I really think you should send a note, or a copy of your posts, to your school counselor. Unless you are exhibiting signs of substance abuse or are at risk for suicide, or in any other physical danger, they may not have to talk to your parents til you're ready. In your note, ask about confidentiality. They love it when students come to them for help - why do you think they spent all those years in college, because they truly care about kids! :-)
I don't know if this is allowed, but if you want me to call your counselor or doctor and find out about confidentiality, I will. You can send me the information at LDavis@cmsstl.com, if you like. Take care of yourself!
~Lynne
Posted by katia on November 13, 2003, at 13:03:12
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » octiigon, posted by katia on November 13, 2003, at 13:00:20
> I don't know if I'd really consider taking meds right off the bat... especially with your age you never know what it could be messing with. You may feel embarrassed... but there is absolutely nothing wrong with opening and wanting to see a therapist. In my opinion, if everyone saw a therapist everything would be alot better. Not to mention you'll suffer for years and years if you don't seek help.... and eventually feel like your completely at the end of your rope.
>
> The sooner you seek help... the easier it'll be to "fix" the problems. Just try the therapy first.... sometimes that's enough to blow away those nasty dark clouds that plague your mind.**Hi again,
And again DITTO! Just because you seek out help doesn't necessarily mean the medication is going to be necessary. And it might be. AND you wouldn't haven't to necessarily tell your parents. Sometimes depression can be worked out in "talk therapy". And believe me the eariler you start, the less unhealthy patterns of unconscious concrete you have to chip away at later to start to heal yourself after years of dysfunction and pain. Not to mention the vicious spiralling effect of depression. For me at least, it brought on life crisis which in turn fueled the depression. The life crisis' for me came about simply out of poor judgment due to the depression (and manic side of bipolar); which in turn spiralled to life crisis and then depression. I lived in an unaware vicious cycle for well over a decade. If you bring some self-awareness and healing into your life now - you are one step ahead of the game. And you'll live a more fulfilling life by knowing yourself better and how you work in the world, especially in relation to family dynamics.
anyway, if I don't make sense then it's probably because I started therapy too late! :-) just kidding.
good luck sweetie.
Katia
Posted by geri122 on November 14, 2003, at 16:57:31
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by Flipsactown on November 12, 2003, at 23:35:17
yeah.. well i have some current up dates on my life. Not really good ones though. Well.. Monday night, a really close friend called. He is one of the people i trust my life. He and his girlfriend are having trouble, and the only way he could think to make it better is to stop talking to all of his girl friends; i am one of them. So he is telling me he can't talk to me and all of this stuff. as i was sitting on the phone with him, i couldn't do much but cry, i didn't understand, he always told me he would be there for me. The thing is, the very next day i was planing on telling im about my situation, it was a very big smack in the face. That made me feel alone again. I got to school and all i could do was cry, i didn't want to be there, and the sadest thing was i saw him there. It was really hard.
Yeah well today i was called down to the principles office... apparently he and several other teachers are worried about me. He asked if everything was ok, and i wanted to tell him, but i knew he would tell my parents, that is something i definatly don't want. I can't hide the fact that im not happy anymore.. and i don't know how much longer i can prentend!
Posted by LynneDa on November 14, 2003, at 17:13:51
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 14, 2003, at 16:57:31
I'm sorry to hear about your guy friend's decision. That had to hurt. I am very happy to hear you felt ready to open up to him, though. Obviously he's in pain now and probably isn't the best person to talk to anyway, but maybe in a few days his mood will change.
That is great that your teachers noticed your unhappiness and want to help. PLEASE talk to the principal! PLEASE see them as willing and caring partners for you in getting some help. PLEASE tell him you are not ready to discuss this with your parents, but maybe talking to the school counselor first would help - that you just need someone understanding to vent to, who can help you figure out what's making you so sad. You don't have to make it sound like you are truly depressed to him. Just sad enough that you need the counselor, but don't need your parents involved just yet. Maybe taking a middle of the road approach will help . . . just a thought!
This might sound terrible, but sometimes you have to hit bottom before you can bounce back up. I know from experience. I wouldn't consider meds til I was a raving maniac and becoming pretty dysfunctional at work! Showing such obvious evidence of unhappiness at school means you don't care as much who knows and that, my dear, is actually progress toward being open to help - as odd as that may sound!
Make choices that are good for you in the long run. I know this sounds really parent-ish, but the decisions you make right now about your self-care will make such a difference in the quality of the rest of your life!! You are learning one of the hardest lessons life has to offer at an early age - in the end there is only you to look out for you. Parents and friends are great, but you know yourself best. Hang in there honey, we're all pulling for you!
~ Lynne
Posted by katia on November 14, 2003, at 17:17:19
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 14, 2003, at 16:57:31
One, start with the school counselor - not the principal since you don't feel comfortable with him/her.
two, maybe you're parents need to know. it's not like you're doing drugs or something. You're in pain and need help honey.
I'm sorry about your friend. The timing was bad. But sounds like he's going through his own stuff and maybe wouldn't really be able to hear or support you like you need right now anyway. It could be a good thing that you haven't told him because telling someone who doesn't listen or hear you is even worse than keeping it to yourself. you just need to confide in the right people.
I wish you luck.
katia
Posted by octiigon on November 14, 2003, at 18:04:27
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by LynneDa on November 14, 2003, at 17:13:51
Yes... Unfortunately we have to learn that while people "can" and sometimes do help you, your the only one to stick up for you, ultimately. I also agree with hitting rock bottom first to truly recover- it's better than sitting in transit your whole life.
It took me years of suffering in "limbo" to reach an all time low- consisting of self-mutilation, insomnia, huge mood swings, and the worst panic attacks you can get. I had to basically force myself into the counciling center- and what a mess I was back then.
Just talk to someone! It helps so much more than you realize, instead of bottling up those emotions so they backfire on your self.
I finally started getting better after seeing a councilor and not caring what anyone else thought.
I think it was better that you didn't tell your friend. From the sounds of it he's having issues, and taking it out on every girl.....
You have to stick up for you and get to the point that your so sick of feeling the way you do that it doesn't matter anymore what your parent's or anyone else thinks for that matter- YOU should be the most important thing to YOU.
I know that sounds egotistical... but all in all when you are the most important thing to you- it affects everything around you in a positive way.
Posted by katia on November 15, 2003, at 14:03:13
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by octiigon on November 14, 2003, at 18:04:27
> Yes... Unfortunately we have to learn that while people "can" and sometimes do help you, your the only one to stick up for you, ultimately. I also agree with hitting rock bottom first to truly recover- it's better than sitting in transit your whole life.
>
> It took me years of suffering in "limbo" to reach an all time low- consisting of self-mutilation, insomnia, huge mood swings, and the worst panic attacks you can get. I had to basically force myself into the counciling center- and what a mess I was back then.
>
> Just talk to someone! It helps so much more than you realize, instead of bottling up those emotions so they backfire on your self.
>
> I finally started getting better after seeing a councilor and not caring what anyone else thought.
>
> I think it was better that you didn't tell your friend. From the sounds of it he's having issues, and taking it out on every girl.....
>
> You have to stick up for you and get to the point that your so sick of feeling the way you do that it doesn't matter anymore what your parent's or anyone else thinks for that matter- YOU should be the most important thing to YOU.
>
> I know that sounds egotistical... but all in all when you are the most important thing to you- it affects everything around you in a positive way.I agree with the rock bottom theory. That's what it took to get me to seek help last year at the age of 32! I'd been suffering since I was in grade school!
It wasn't fun at the time, but I'm glad I hit that all time low and crisis period b/c I was FORCED to address the fact that something was wrong with me and has been for years (that in itself took a LOT!) and to address that I could be helped with medication/treatment. Mind you, I'd been in therapy for years, not really doing TOO much. But it probably did enough to make me aware of myself finally and get help!
Everyone has their own timing. And as wierd as it sounds, people need to suffer long enough, like you said, that they refuse to be like this anymore. and come hell or high water, I don't give a *amn what people think - I AIN'T SUFFERING NO MORE!
let's hope the time comes for you Geri sooner rather than later.
warmly,
katia
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 15, 2003, at 15:09:38
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by octiigon on November 14, 2003, at 18:04:27
> It took me years of suffering in "limbo" to reach an all time low- consisting of self-mutilation, insomnia, huge mood swings, and the worst panic attacks you can get. I had to basically force myself into the counciling center- and what a mess I was back then.
It's nice to see so much support here, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding counseling to Psychological Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/280039.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by katia on November 15, 2003, at 15:24:24
In reply to Redirect: counseling, posted by Dr. Bob on November 15, 2003, at 15:09:38
See you guys over there!
katia
Posted by biogurl on November 16, 2003, at 23:29:42
In reply to Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 2, 2003, at 17:17:56
geril22: Maybe you could call your doctor and make an appointment without telling your parents and discuss your feelings with your doc (or write them down and give the note to the doc)and then allow him/her to discuss these things with your parents. I know how hard it can be to verbalize your feelings, I'm a 23 year old college student and have been depressed since about 15 and I still have trouble discussing my problems even with the people that I know and trust the most. If you see a doctor they can help (really). But actually taking that step to see the doctor is sometimes the hardest part. I've been in your shoes, you have to take that step to begin feeling better.
As far as not wanting your parents to know: I know you don't want to hear this but you kinda gotta let them know even if it is told to them by your doc. Your parents will understand better when your doc explains to them that depression is an illness just like any other chronic illness and it doesn't mean you're "crazy." Good Luck
Posted by geri122 on November 19, 2003, at 18:37:41
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by LynneDa on November 14, 2003, at 17:13:51
I have a medical question.. lately i have not been able to catcg mny breathe and i feel light headed. its really scary, i feel like i can;t control it
Posted by biogurl on November 19, 2003, at 20:33:31
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 19, 2003, at 18:37:41
geril22: It sounds like you may be having a panic attack aka anxiety attack. How has your appetite been? How about your sleeping habits? Have either changed since you've been feeling depressed?
Posted by LynneDa on November 20, 2003, at 8:59:41
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 19, 2003, at 18:37:41
Geri - It does sound like an anxiety attack. I have those occasionally. This is a physical symptom which does need to be evaluated by your physician. Please tell your parents or make an appointment with your doctor yourself if you can, ok? In the meantime, take a deep breath, take a drink of water slowly, sit down. How is your appetite, are you eating? Not eating or eating improperly can make you light-headed as well.
Let us know what you decide to do. Listen to your body . . . it is trying to tell you something!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on November 20, 2003, at 17:40:05
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » geri122, posted by LynneDa on November 20, 2003, at 8:59:41
yeah listen to my body.. i don't think it likes me very well but hey what can you do. lol. I will keep you guys posted i promice. Thanks for all your help. i will think about it all.
Posted by biogurl on November 20, 2003, at 23:16:59
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 20, 2003, at 17:40:05
> yeah listen to my body.. i don't think it likes me very well but hey what can you do. lol. I will keep you guys posted i promice. Thanks for all your help. i will think about it all.
Hey geril22: I am a senior biology student,hence the name "biogurl." I'm no expert but I do know quite a bit about how we operate. I have had anxiety attacks before and my doctor prescribed a blood pressure pill. I hardly ever take it but, when I'm anxious, I take it and it lowers my B.P. making me feel very calm but not drugged. I know it's hard to realize when you're 16, that what you're going through is fairly common. In fact, there are probably quite a few students at your school that are depressed. I was very depressed at 16, my parents kinda figured it out because my mom's sister has it and my mom kinda knew the symptoms and stuff. I'm 23 and I'm still really depressed. I'm feeling worse recently since I've had to stop taking my antidepressants and seeing my counselor. When I turned 23 (in May), my health insurance got cancelled regardless of the fact that I was still a student. I applied for my own benefits and no-one will insure me because I have a history of depression and I smoked for 2 years (stupid, I know). So here I am depressed with no doctor or counselor to talk to and no antidepressants to take. Take advantage of the fact that you have health insurance through your parent(s) still. Trust me, I was so much like you only a few years ago. People can really help you and they will teach your parents about depression, so they WILL understand. Take care
Posted by geri122 on November 21, 2003, at 15:08:20
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by biogurl on November 20, 2003, at 23:16:59
i know i know and i am trying so hard to get there. I mean these little baby steps are getting me there, slowly but surely. To be truthful ( something i haven;t been to many people)im scared really scared. I know that is normal, but its not for me. i was always the strong one, or at least able to act it, now i can;t even do that. Im trying i really am, but things in my life just seem to be crashing, and im really scared.
Posted by geri122 on November 21, 2003, at 15:09:45
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by biogurl on November 19, 2003, at 20:33:31
my appite. well its ok i guess. i don't eat a lot anymore, im never really hungry
Posted by cj249 on November 24, 2003, at 22:34:08
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 21, 2003, at 15:09:45
I've been in your place, afraid to tell anyone, afraid to go to school, I've even pretended to be sick just so I wouldn't have to go there. I only agreed to see doctor once I hit rock bottom, and couldn't stop crying. I would go home and cry and think about death. That was five years ago and now, I go out and have fun, my grades in college have gone back up and generally feeling great. I was afraid to tell my mom, because my mom and I were fighting all the time and we couldn't be in the same room without angry words at each other. Now when my mom and I talk about it, she knew there was something wrong, but didn't know what to do. One of my friends who had depression, came to me and talked to me when I drove her home from school one day. I got to the point when I couldn't see where I was going and had to pull over cause I was crying so badly. It was the first time that I broke down infront of someone and I was to tired to care anymore. I went home and imediatly went to my room and cried for about half and hour. My mom came to my room to tell me to do something and I tried to stop crying but couldn't, it was the worst feeling in my life to lose all controll in front of my mother, who previously I couldn't do anything but be angry at. She just held be and I cried like a baby, when I finally gained enough self control to mumble some words out about depression. Afterward we went to the internet and both looked up about depression and we found a checklist of the symptoms and we printed it out and I checked the ones I had. I took it with me to my doctor's visit on the next monday, it was a friday when I broke down. Then I started to get treated. That one day turned my life upside down for the better. A was also scared to talk honestly with the doctor, afraid of what she might think, so I didn't tell her the whole truth, which I can say was probably one of the more stupidier ideas of my life. When you go in for treatment be that tomorrow, a month from now or a year from now, tell the doctor everything, do not hold back, it only makes it worse in the end, well more time consuming at least. Another thing that I can say is that there are a lot more people out there with depression than you might think, right there in your very school. Once I got comfortable enough to talk about the depression and started asking around people would open up and tell me that they went through the same thing, these were people who I had thought had the perfect lives and never cried at home or were depressed. I had to go through many different medicines and therapy, but the greatest trick to my recovery has been talking about depression and to be able to tell people, hey I have depression, I'm dealing with it and it's not the center of my life, I am. I know that your really afraid to let your parents know or to let the people at school know, I was there and even when I stood up infront of the entire class and told them that I had depression, nobody thought I was a freak, no one made fun, although mine was a pretty small class compared to some about a hundred people. That by accepting myself, I forced them to accept me.
Posted by LynneDa on November 25, 2003, at 8:55:06
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » geri122, posted by cj249 on November 24, 2003, at 22:34:08
All I can say is "Wow!" and "Bravo!". That's a great story from someone so young. Congratulations on being brave enough to take the right steps and open up. What medication are you on? I hope your example is inspiration for our Geri!
~ Lynne
Posted by LynneDa on November 25, 2003, at 9:26:02
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 21, 2003, at 15:08:20
I know you're scared and that is normal when people are depressed and overwhelmed by their emotions. I really think you're getting there, though. Posting here will hopefully help you refine your thinking and make a decision about asking for help! Please know that you absolutely don't have to feel this way anymore. I know it seems like you're in a dark tunnel or a big black hole, but I will bet that when you reach out to a counselor or your doctor, you will start to feel relieved. When I started talking to my parents as a teen, I did it as logically and calmly as I could. I wrote in a journal and I let them read some of it. Starting that process was scary, but such a relief once it began.
Hang in there and think about your next step, okay? You deserve to find a little peace so you can become the person you are meant to be!!!
~ Lynne
Posted by cj249 on November 25, 2003, at 13:30:54
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » cj249, posted by LynneDa on November 25, 2003, at 8:55:06
Right now I'm on effexor xr and trazodone, but that was after going through several others, some with nasty side effects. My effexor is a pretty large dose at 225 mg and recently I've been able to lower my dose of trazodone down to 50 mg instead of 100. Also in the spring my doctor is going to try and lower my effexor to see if I can safely come off it. The one thing that does scare me is the withdraw symptoms of effexor. I always know when I miss a dose, cause I get sick. Even though it scares me I'm pretty excited to be getting to a point that I can lower meds enough that I might be able to come off it.
Posted by LynneDa on November 25, 2003, at 13:40:26
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » LynneDa, posted by cj249 on November 25, 2003, at 13:30:54
That's great that you're able to consider going off meds!! I know what you mean about being scared. I missed a dose once and was so sick! From all I've read here, if you go down in dosage slowly, it's not so bad. My p-doc said he'll look at going off in 12 - 18 months. I've only been on Lexapro for about 6 weeks, but the change has been wonderful so far. Good luck to you!
~ Lynne
Posted by geri122 on November 26, 2003, at 14:59:26
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed » geri122, posted by cj249 on November 24, 2003, at 22:34:08
accept myself... accept the truth! I know that there are people out there, heck people within my school. But ihave been the strong one, now what, tell them im not. I know that i come here and just vent.. i know that to people it may seem like im not doing anything about it.. but i am.. im trying.
I went to a site and also printed a check list... half of my list is checked. The more think about the more i want to tell. All the stories that you guys have told about recovery makes me jelous, but it also makes me think, That can be ME! I have to get there, i have to be better. I have to be happy. Its a long road till the end, and even tho i don't even want to get up in the morning i do. I get up and that means something.
Im not just a kid trying to get reconized. Im a kid seeking help!
Posted by katia on November 26, 2003, at 15:06:39
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 26, 2003, at 14:59:26
Hi Geri,
I think everyone on this board, myself included, don't think you're a kid trying to get recognized, but one who is in great pain seeking help. In my opinion, it takes strength to tell the truth at the risk of exposing your suffering to get help. Depression is not a weakness. In fact, people who suffer from it are in fact very strong because they are able to keep surviving in the face of it. It's not easy to live like this, as you know. Strength is NOT about putting on a face and fooling everyone into thinking that you're happy. This is my opinion.You are seeking support here. And that's probably enough for you now. You ARE on the road to recovery.
take good care,
Katia
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