Posted by cj249 on November 24, 2003, at 22:34:08
In reply to Re: Im i deppressed, posted by geri122 on November 21, 2003, at 15:09:45
I've been in your place, afraid to tell anyone, afraid to go to school, I've even pretended to be sick just so I wouldn't have to go there. I only agreed to see doctor once I hit rock bottom, and couldn't stop crying. I would go home and cry and think about death. That was five years ago and now, I go out and have fun, my grades in college have gone back up and generally feeling great. I was afraid to tell my mom, because my mom and I were fighting all the time and we couldn't be in the same room without angry words at each other. Now when my mom and I talk about it, she knew there was something wrong, but didn't know what to do. One of my friends who had depression, came to me and talked to me when I drove her home from school one day. I got to the point when I couldn't see where I was going and had to pull over cause I was crying so badly. It was the first time that I broke down infront of someone and I was to tired to care anymore. I went home and imediatly went to my room and cried for about half and hour. My mom came to my room to tell me to do something and I tried to stop crying but couldn't, it was the worst feeling in my life to lose all controll in front of my mother, who previously I couldn't do anything but be angry at. She just held be and I cried like a baby, when I finally gained enough self control to mumble some words out about depression. Afterward we went to the internet and both looked up about depression and we found a checklist of the symptoms and we printed it out and I checked the ones I had. I took it with me to my doctor's visit on the next monday, it was a friday when I broke down. Then I started to get treated. That one day turned my life upside down for the better. A was also scared to talk honestly with the doctor, afraid of what she might think, so I didn't tell her the whole truth, which I can say was probably one of the more stupidier ideas of my life. When you go in for treatment be that tomorrow, a month from now or a year from now, tell the doctor everything, do not hold back, it only makes it worse in the end, well more time consuming at least. Another thing that I can say is that there are a lot more people out there with depression than you might think, right there in your very school. Once I got comfortable enough to talk about the depression and started asking around people would open up and tell me that they went through the same thing, these were people who I had thought had the perfect lives and never cried at home or were depressed. I had to go through many different medicines and therapy, but the greatest trick to my recovery has been talking about depression and to be able to tell people, hey I have depression, I'm dealing with it and it's not the center of my life, I am. I know that your really afraid to let your parents know or to let the people at school know, I was there and even when I stood up infront of the entire class and told them that I had depression, nobody thought I was a freak, no one made fun, although mine was a pretty small class compared to some about a hundred people. That by accepting myself, I forced them to accept me.
poster:cj249
thread:275855
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031121/msgs/283446.html