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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by anks on November 10, 2003, at 21:46:46
This game started for me about six years ago and the last four have been extreamly painful, i cycle up and down on almost a weekly basis, at the moment im on aurorix, considering etc, and against lithium, huge issues with weight gain, have had anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating through out all of this. The depression and anxiety completely isolates me, i cant bear the thought of people, family or friends seeing me, nothing that i have tried, theorpy, medication, hospital has made a significant or standing difference. Im on a desperate search for hope, for success stories, advice and inspiration.
Posted by Elle2021 on November 11, 2003, at 5:22:21
In reply to dont know where to go from here, posted by anks on November 10, 2003, at 21:46:46
Wow, sounds like you have been through the ringer eh? I'm really sorry to hear about all the things you have been through. BUT, look at it this way, you did pull through! And, just the fact that you wrote what you did on this board shows you aren't going to give up easily. My advice, stay on your meds, stay in therapy. You sound like a really strong person. Keep perservering! Keep me updated! God bless you!
You asked for inspiration:
Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."Psalm 33:20 "Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield."
Elle
Posted by anks on November 11, 2003, at 16:45:16
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here » anks, posted by Elle2021 on November 11, 2003, at 5:22:21
> Wow, sounds like you have been through the ringer eh? I'm really sorry to hear about all the things you have been through. BUT, look at it this way, you did pull through! And, just the fact that you wrote what you did on this board shows you aren't going to give up easily. My advice, stay on your meds, stay in therapy. You sound like a really strong person. Keep perservering! Keep me updated! God bless you!
>
> You asked for inspiration:
> Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
>
> Psalm 33:20 "Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield."
>
> Elle
Thank you, what religion are you? I went to a catholic primary school but thats as far as my religious education goes. I have a cousin who is a witness and she often sends me stuff, but it really is a field that i know little about.
Not doing to badly today, just saw one of my dr's, wonts me to do another stint in hospital, undecided.Enjoy your day, and thanks again.
Posted by MelD on November 11, 2003, at 20:10:54
In reply to dont know where to go from here, posted by anks on November 10, 2003, at 21:46:46
I am bipolarII, although not a rapid cycler like you. I also have never suffered an eating disorder, but have some understanding because my sister in law is the same as you, only schizophrenic. She has been suicidal and hospitalized, i have not. Now, with all that info out of the way, i just want to say to you that what Elle said is so true. You must be a survivor or you would not still be with us and posting to this board. Something in you wants to live and get well, even though you have been living in hell for a long time. I can tell you that i spent over 15 years living depressed and wondering how i could stand living another day, let alone the rest of my life. I also isolated myself. What i had going for me was a supportive husband and a very good pdoc who is savvy about meds and treatments. I tried one thing after another and finally, finally, finally found the magic. For me it happens to be an maoi, Parnate, augmented with Topamax. I could try to describe the joy and wonder of feeling "normal", but i dont think it does any good until you feel it yourself, WHICH YOU WILL. I can honestly tell you that it was worth all the crap of trying new things, all the disappointments, washouts, side effects, everything to get where i am today. At age 54 i am truly depression free for the first time. It is never too late. My heart goes out to you that you still have to go through it to find your magic, but please just cooperate with your doc, do both therapy and meds and keep telling yourself you are worth it even when you dont believe it. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Melodie
Posted by anks on November 11, 2003, at 23:50:51
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here, posted by MelD on November 11, 2003, at 20:10:54
> I am bipolarII, although not a rapid cycler like you. I also have never suffered an eating disorder, but have some understanding because my sister in law is the same as you, only schizophrenic. She has been suicidal and hospitalized, i have not. Now, with all that info out of the way, i just want to say to you that what Elle said is so true. You must be a survivor or you would not still be with us and posting to this board. Something in you wants to live and get well, even though you have been living in hell for a long time. I can tell you that i spent over 15 years living depressed and wondering how i could stand living another day, let alone the rest of my life. I also isolated myself. What i had going for me was a supportive husband and a very good pdoc who is savvy about meds and treatments. I tried one thing after another and finally, finally, finally found the magic. For me it happens to be an maoi, Parnate, augmented with Topamax. I could try to describe the joy and wonder of feeling "normal", but i dont think it does any good until you feel it yourself, WHICH YOU WILL. I can honestly tell you that it was worth all the crap of trying new things, all the disappointments, washouts, side effects, everything to get where i am today. At age 54 i am truly depression free for the first time. It is never too late. My heart goes out to you that you still have to go through it to find your magic, but please just cooperate with your doc, do both therapy and meds and keep telling yourself you are worth it even when you dont believe it. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Melodie
Wow, thank you so much, great to hear success stories. Your strength is inspirational, 15years must have been unimaginable difficult. I'm now on aurorix, is that like parnate? and the mood stabiliser you mentioned would be my next step, so it gives my hope when i know what it has done for you. I haven't been on a stabiliser before and am a bit worried about the effects, did you have some negative experiences? It's funny that you should comment on the joy of normality, i often think that people who have been through such events have a deeper happiness for the simplicity of a day. Keep posting, i would really like to know how you are going and more about you. Thank you.
Posted by Elle2021 on November 12, 2003, at 0:28:15
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here » Elle2021, posted by anks on November 11, 2003, at 16:45:16
Hi again, good to hear from you! I am a Christian. I go to the Church of Christ (conservative, which is not a denomination), which is non-denominational. We don't have a creed, only the Bible. I really believe it is the one true church. If your interested, go to http://www.bible.ca/seek-about.htm
I encourage you to find one near you and give it a chance. God has helped me through a lot of rough times, and having my faith has been an encouragement and given me lots of strength.I'm glad hear you felt better today. I know how thankful I am when I have a good day. How do you feel about having another stay in the hospital? Do you think it would be beneficial to you? You doctor seems to think it would help you, but the decision is up to you in the end. Let me know what you decide. God bless you.
Elle> > Elle
> Thank you, what religion are you? I went to a catholic primary school but thats as far as my religious education goes. I have a cousin who is a witness and she often sends me stuff, but it really is a field that i know little about.
> Not doing to badly today, just saw one of my dr's, wonts me to do another stint in hospital, undecided.Enjoy your day, and thanks again.
Posted by MelD on November 12, 2003, at 18:06:08
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here » MelD, posted by anks on November 11, 2003, at 23:50:51
I am not at all familiar with aurorix and the topamax i take was presicribed for weight control. I didnt mean to recommend the combo for you, just wanted you to know that there is a right med or combo out there that will be your very own magic. Again, i beg you not to give up, even though it is so tempting just to say "forget it, im in too much pain." Please remember that you can and will get better - many,many people have. Rely on your pdoc (hope he is good and that you have a good open relationship with him/her), do continue with talk therapy and most of all, have faith in yourself and the strength you must somehow know you have. You sound like a very special person, so keep in touch, ok? Love and Luck, Melodie
Posted by anks on November 12, 2003, at 20:29:26
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here, posted by MelD on November 12, 2003, at 18:06:08
> I am not at all familiar with aurorix and the topamax i take was presicribed for weight control. I didnt mean to recommend the combo for you, just wanted you to know that there is a right med or combo out there that will be your very own magic. Again, i beg you not to give up, even though it is so tempting just to say "forget it, im in too much pain." Please remember that you can and will get better - many,many people have. Rely on your pdoc (hope he is good and that you have a good open relationship with him/her), do continue with talk therapy and most of all, have faith in yourself and the strength you must somehow know you have. You sound like a very special person, so keep in touch, ok? Love and Luck, Melodie
I didnt think that you were recommending the combo so dont worry bout that. I'm quite good today, weathers great. Saw a new pdoc today, previous guy, been seeing him for about 4-5months really pushes hospital and i feel as though im getting no where else with him. Today went well, i conected with her so thats a start, also trying out a guy next week, so hopefully one of them will be of help to me. When im up there is a constant fear of losing control, of falling again, once i overcome this i think i will feel much stronger, and have more faith in myself. Thank you very much for your reply, i hope you are going well today, how long have you been 'free'for? Anyhow, enjoy, hope to hear from you soon.
Posted by anks on November 12, 2003, at 21:03:10
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here » anks, posted by Elle2021 on November 12, 2003, at 0:28:15
> Hi again, good to hear from you! I am a Christian. I go to the Church of Christ (conservative, which is not a denomination), which is non-denominational. We don't have a creed, only the Bible. I really believe it is the one true church. If your interested, go to http://www.bible.ca/seek-about.htm
> I encourage you to find one near you and give it a chance. God has helped me through a lot of rough times, and having my faith has been an encouragement and given me lots of strength.
>
> I'm glad hear you felt better today. I know how thankful I am when I have a good day. How do you feel about having another stay in the hospital? Do you think it would be beneficial to you? You doctor seems to think it would help you, but the decision is up to you in the end. Let me know what you decide. God bless you.
> Elle
>
> > > Elle
> > Thank you, what religion are you? I went to a catholic primary school but thats as far as my religious education goes. I have a cousin who is a witness and she often sends me stuff, but it really is a field that i know little about.
> > Not doing to badly today, just saw one of my dr's, wonts me to do another stint in hospital, undecided.Enjoy your day, and thanks again.
>
> Still undecided bout the hos. thing, will wait and see how i go, sounds terrible but boredom tortures me, rediculous reason, theres people out there who genuinely need hos. maybe i am one of them, but i dont like the place, it's miserable, the days are long, not allowed off the ward, and to be honest i dont see what controlling my eating for two weeks will achieve, ok, i can what i will achieve but i dont feel that anything longstanding would come from it. Anyhow, if i fall again i will most likely do it. One of my friends thinks im crazy cos everytime im up i think that i might be leaving it all behind, you may be thinking that i'm cranky to, but thats fine, i think that if i simply dont believe it is possible then i will stay stuck, so I'm not quite so consumed by it all today, and i will be even less so tomorrow. Enjoy.
Posted by Stavros on November 12, 2003, at 21:56:29
In reply to dont know where to go from here, posted by anks on November 10, 2003, at 21:46:46
Anks, I read your story and burst into tears. I also read the womans response after being in her own hell for 15 yrs. I have suffered for 9 yrs and it's encouraging that people do come out of the medication hell etc. I need you to keep going so i can keep going too. I have isolated myself too. hang in there
sg
> This game started for me about six years ago and the last four have been extreamly painful, i cycle up and down on almost a weekly basis, at the moment im on aurorix, considering etc, and against lithium, huge issues with weight gain, have had anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating through out all of this. The depression and anxiety completely isolates me, i cant bear the thought of people, family or friends seeing me, nothing that i have tried, theorpy, medication, hospital has made a significant or standing difference. Im on a desperate search for hope, for success stories, advice and inspiration.
Posted by Elle2021 on November 13, 2003, at 1:47:27
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here » Elle2021, posted by anks on November 12, 2003, at 21:03:10
You have a right to feel cranky, your going through a lot of things right now. I know how you feel because when I was at my lowest point, I was just impossible to get along with. Fortunately my family put up with me. Like I said before don't get discouraged. How did your app. go with your new pdoc?
Elle
> Hi again, good to hear from you! I am a Christian. I go to the Church of Christ (conservative, which is not a denomination), which is non-denominational. We don't have a creed, only the Bible. I really believe it is the one true church. If your interested, go to http://www.bible.ca/seek-about.htm
> > I encourage you to find one near you and give it a chance. God has helped me through a lot of rough times, and having my faith has been an encouragement and given me lots of strength.
> >
> > I'm glad hear you felt better today. I know how thankful I am when I have a good day. How do you feel about having another stay in the hospital? Do you think it would be beneficial to you? You doctor seems to think it would help you, but the decision is up to you in the end. Let me know what you decide. God bless you.
> > Elle
> >
> > > > Elle
> > > Thank you, what religion are you? I went to a catholic primary school but thats as far as my religious education goes. I have a cousin who is a witness and she often sends me stuff, but it really is a field that i know little about.
> > > Not doing to badly today, just saw one of my dr's, wonts me to do another stint in hospital, undecided.Enjoy your day, and thanks again.
> >
> > Still undecided bout the hos. thing, will wait and see how i go, sounds terrible but boredom tortures me, rediculous reason, theres people out there who genuinely need hos. maybe i am one of them, but i dont like the place, it's miserable, the days are long, not allowed off the ward, and to be honest i dont see what controlling my eating for two weeks will achieve, ok, i can what i will achieve but i dont feel that anything longstanding would come from it. Anyhow, if i fall again i will most likely do it. One of my friends thinks im crazy cos everytime im up i think that i might be leaving it all behind, you may be thinking that i'm cranky to, but thats fine, i think that if i simply dont believe it is possible then i will stay stuck, so I'm not quite so consumed by it all today, and i will be even less so tomorrow. Enjoy.
>
>
Posted by octiigon on November 13, 2003, at 6:44:14
In reply to dont know where to go from here, posted by anks on November 10, 2003, at 21:46:46
I may only be 19.... but from the beginning my life started off "bumpy and rigid".
I've always been isolated from everyone else as well..... Due to the fact I've been abused in some way by every single person I've let close to me.
Yes I do get lonely, I don't even know how I do it. I have no friends, rarely family contacts me, and the roommates I have think I'm just a nutcase. Days just seem to pass by at light speed... and I wait for a day when I can finally return to society and have continual social contact with someone and establish a new relationship(hopefully...).
Well, In my case my therapist/psychologist never really figured out what was/is wrong with me. I have such huge mood swings that I constantly shifted (i'm more stable now) from a huge "high" to ultimate "low". I suggested that it was bipolar but they changed so often it couldn't be classified.... Anyway my point is that the fact that your here writing shows that you truly do want to live... We're all survivors, with different methods/strategies of surviving. I am actually quite surprised i've lasted this long to be honest, but when I think about it... it wasn't all that hard.
I had to learn to cope with my self, as i'm my biggest critic. I also had to learn to let go of my past.... I can tell you one thing... if I'd had more faith in God back then, it would have been a whole lot easier...
Posted by MelD on November 13, 2003, at 14:46:01
In reply to Re: dont know where to go from here, posted by octiigon on November 13, 2003, at 6:44:14
Isnt this board great? It gives you the knowledge about meds you need plus lets you know that others feel the same way you do. Its a good start for someone who isolates, too, dont you think? Im so glad you connected with a doc - its so important to trust and be able to really communicate with them. If you would like to write me, my email address is MelD609@yahoo.com. I sure dont have all the answers, but im a good listener, lol. Take care and keep feeling better, Melodie
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