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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mr.scott on January 17, 2002, at 13:20:50
Sorry...This long so please skip if you haven't the time..
Today I awoke feeling pretty good, I went to work, and everything seemed okay. I noticed I was in a good mood, and immediately became suspicious that I was hypomanic as I always watch out for. I did have music and random disorganized thoughts Zooming around my head, but I had also skipped a dose of Klonpin the night before and chalked it up to rebound anxiety. So this morning I took .5mg of Klonopin and 75mg of Effexor and had my cup of coffee, and went about my merry way. Then out of nowhere I remembered a comment my doctor had dropped about Klonopin. He said it was anti-potentcy with regard to sexual functioning. This began to worry me a great deal, and while I was physically involved in other projects and with other peopl, my mind was spinning an anxious web and I started thinking my sexual perfromance might be negatively impacted, and was there another drug that I could take instead of Klonopin to treat mild dysphoric mania or anxiety (I'm not really sure which it is!)
I was actually disappointed that I couldn't at that very moment test to see if indeed my sexual potency had been affected!
Then I began surfing the net for research on Klonopin impacting sexual potency, and other research that might help clarify whether or not I am manic or anxious or have OCD, because nobody seems to know!
Then I noticed how common weight gain was listed as a side effect of Depakote even though it would technically be the prefered drug for my kind of bipolar disorder assuming that is what I have, and that upset me even more.
By now feeling tired and physically ill with worry, I decided to pose the following question to the PB group.
What in the name of F___ is wrong with me!!!!!!!!
Is this mind spinning mania, OCD, or Anxiety.
Thanks for posting your thoughts,
Mr.Scott
Posted by TSA West on January 17, 2002, at 21:11:29
In reply to Long...but posts are much appreciated, posted by mr.scott on January 17, 2002, at 13:20:50
I'm thinking that a decent dose of Zyprexa will crush the anxiety, mania, and sexual side-effects--while also providing more restful sleep (http://www.vh.org/Providers/Conferences/CPS/04.html#OLANZAPINE). It killed my anxiety. ChrisK on here especially likes it...
-----------------TSA West------------------
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 21:38:58
In reply to I read it all » mr.scott, posted by TSA West on January 17, 2002, at 21:11:29
not the best time for me to be posting - going through a breakdown of sorts, but your symptoms remind me of me - I was taking Depakote with marginal success. Did gain some weight, but Zyprexa will do that too. I have also heard that Zyprexa helps as well.
I just stopped Depakote about a week ago - I have been a mess, shifting between irritable hypomania and now horrific depression. Just popped my Depakote at my husband's request - for me it works very quickly, perhaps why it is so good for rapid cycling.
Re: OCD, etc. - I don't know. I defnitely have OCD symptoms - checking things, ruminating, subversive thoughts. Depakote helped me with this.
Posted by mr.scott on January 18, 2002, at 12:49:36
In reply to Long...but posts are much appreciated, posted by mr.scott on January 17, 2002, at 13:20:50
I expected a few more posts, Wheres the love and support?
> Sorry...This long so please skip if you haven't the time..
>
> Today I awoke feeling pretty good, I went to work, and everything seemed okay. I noticed I was in a good mood, and immediately became suspicious that I was hypomanic as I always watch out for. I did have music and random disorganized thoughts Zooming around my head, but I had also skipped a dose of Klonpin the night before and chalked it up to rebound anxiety. So this morning I took .5mg of Klonopin and 75mg of Effexor and had my cup of coffee, and went about my merry way. Then out of nowhere I remembered a comment my doctor had dropped about Klonopin. He said it was anti-potentcy with regard to sexual functioning. This began to worry me a great deal, and while I was physically involved in other projects and with other peopl, my mind was spinning an anxious web and I started thinking my sexual perfromance might be negatively impacted, and was there another drug that I could take instead of Klonopin to treat mild dysphoric mania or anxiety (I'm not really sure which it is!)
>
> I was actually disappointed that I couldn't at that very moment test to see if indeed my sexual potency had been affected!
>
> Then I began surfing the net for research on Klonopin impacting sexual potency, and other research that might help clarify whether or not I am manic or anxious or have OCD, because nobody seems to know!
>
> Then I noticed how common weight gain was listed as a side effect of Depakote even though it would technically be the prefered drug for my kind of bipolar disorder assuming that is what I have, and that upset me even more.
>
> By now feeling tired and physically ill with worry, I decided to pose the following question to the PB group.
>
> What in the name of F___ is wrong with me!!!!!!!!
>
> Is this mind spinning mania, OCD, or Anxiety.
>
> Thanks for posting your thoughts,
>
> Mr.Scott
Posted by IsoM on January 18, 2002, at 13:23:33
In reply to Awe..Come on Now?, posted by mr.scott on January 18, 2002, at 12:49:36
Scott, it's not like I don't won't to give you support, but the anxiety I've felt when depressed is different. Reading over your previous post, all I could think was "the poor guy" & I have no suggestions or ideas.
I'm sure there's more of us that feel that way - how empathise with you but have nothing to offer otherwise. I wouldn't have a clue what to term it either. Sorry.
> I expected a few more posts, Wheres the love and support?
>
>
> > Sorry...This long so please skip if you haven't the time..
> >
> > Today I awoke feeling pretty good, I went to work, and everything seemed okay. I noticed I was in a good mood, and immediately became suspicious that I was hypomanic as I always watch out for. I did have music and random disorganized thoughts Zooming around my head, but I had also skipped a dose of Klonpin the night before and chalked it up to rebound anxiety. So this morning I took .5mg of Klonopin and 75mg of Effexor and had my cup of coffee, and went about my merry way. Then out of nowhere I remembered a comment my doctor had dropped about Klonopin. He said it was anti-potentcy with regard to sexual functioning. This began to worry me a great deal, and while I was physically involved in other projects and with other peopl, my mind was spinning an anxious web and I started thinking my sexual perfromance might be negatively impacted, and was there another drug that I could take instead of Klonopin to treat mild dysphoric mania or anxiety (I'm not really sure which it is!)
> >
> > I was actually disappointed that I couldn't at that very moment test to see if indeed my sexual potency had been affected!
> >
> > Then I began surfing the net for research on Klonopin impacting sexual potency, and other research that might help clarify whether or not I am manic or anxious or have OCD, because nobody seems to know!
> >
> > Then I noticed how common weight gain was listed as a side effect of Depakote even though it would technically be the prefered drug for my kind of bipolar disorder assuming that is what I have, and that upset me even more.
> >
> > By now feeling tired and physically ill with worry, I decided to pose the following question to the PB group.
> >
> > What in the name of F___ is wrong with me!!!!!!!!
> >
> > Is this mind spinning mania, OCD, or Anxiety.
> >
> > Thanks for posting your thoughts,
> >
> > Mr.Scott
Posted by mr.scott on January 18, 2002, at 15:16:25
In reply to Re: Awe..Come on Now? » mr.scott, posted by IsoM on January 18, 2002, at 13:23:33
I appreciate anything I can get at this point...Even your uncertainty is better than nothing at all... Maybe One day It will be clearer..Thanks!
Scott
Posted by Seamus2 on January 18, 2002, at 22:24:38
In reply to Thanks for trying ISOM! » IsoM, posted by mr.scott on January 18, 2002, at 15:16:25
> >What in the name of F___ is wrong with me!!!!!!!!< <
You have too much time to spend on hypochondriasis, navel-staring and obsessing on your "condition".
I can sympathize because I've "been there, done that" and know the obsessive quality it takes on.
Go out and DO something, instead. Make a list of three things you like to do way from the computer, pick any one, and go do it instead.
Seamus
Posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 22:48:55
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response, posted by Seamus2 on January 18, 2002, at 22:24:38
Seamus:
Why don't You:
"Go out and DO something, instead. Make a list of three things you like to do way from the computer, pick any one, and go do it instead."- KK
Posted by Seamus2 on January 19, 2002, at 1:24:22
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response » Seamus2, posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 22:48:55
> Seamus:
>
> Why don't You:
> "Go out and DO something, instead. Make a list of three things you like to do way from the computer, pick any one, and go do it instead."
>
> - KKIn the words of Shaw, "He who can, does. He who cannot teaches." < g >
Seamus
Posted by Mr. Scott on January 19, 2002, at 1:42:37
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response, posted by Seamus2 on January 19, 2002, at 1:24:22
In the words of Shaw, "He who can, does. He who cannot teaches."I think your teachings are sound. And I will in fact put them to practice (at least try). I also take it that your impression is that my "condition" is anxiety based.
I manage to accomplish a lot in between obsessing, but in truth it has demanded much of my time that could be better spent.
Just can't seem to stop thinking about why and exactly how I'm F___ up. Somehow I believe that If I know the answers I'll be able to change.
as a side bar Seamus was the name of a song written about a dog by Pink Floyd.
Scott
Posted by IsoM on January 19, 2002, at 2:10:31
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response » Seamus2, posted by Mr. Scott on January 19, 2002, at 1:42:37
Scott, I do understand I think, how you feel, just not to that extent. A person gets desperate to put a label on what/how/why they feel a certain way. As humans, we naturally want to categorise & label everything to understand it better.
I've always thought of myself in terms of a handful of little "gems" - no bragging, but no false modesty either. I have some wonderful outstanding qualites, BUT... I never seem to be able to really do anything with these very good qualities I have, as I also have some very lame qualities. Lots of little "gems", but I can't put it together to make a nice "necklace", so to speak. Very, very frustrating.
So I keep thinking, if there was only some way I could overcome my bad qualities. Why do I act that way? Why is it so hard to stop doing the same stupid things I do? (or more like - why don't I do the positive things needed? I'm more of a non-doer than I bad doer.) Then I get thinking, if I can put a name to it, maybe I'd know how to treat it!! And I can go around in circles thinking like this.
So I think to myself "stop obsessing about what to call it & just do something, dummy!" Round & round it goes. Sounds familiar, right? It's hard to shake it off sometimes, but you need to keep trying.
I've come to realise that I can't always help thinking like this at times, but I'll be damned if I'll give in & wallow in the mood. It's not like I can just make a decision one day to stop thinking foolishly & never think that way again. I know I will. It's a matter of whenever I catch myself falling into those thought patterns, to say "okay, enough thinking. Get up & do something instead" - just like Seamus suggested!
I'll be fine for awhile, then start up again. I know my analogy is a little overdone, but it's like the war is only won by many little battles. Each time you start thinking wrong, go DO something else to derail that train of thought.
Actually, on the adrafinil, I haven't been so pessimistic thinking lately. Who knows? Maybe one day I will make that "necklace" after all!
>
>
> Just can't seem to stop thinking about why and exactly how I'm F___ up. Somehow I believe that If I know the answers I'll be able to change.
> Scott
Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2002, at 8:38:15
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response » Seamus2, posted by Mr. Scott on January 19, 2002, at 1:42:37
> Just can't seem to stop thinking about why and exactly how I'm F___ up. Somehow I believe that If I know the answers I'll be able to change.
>
> ScottI know exactly what you mean. I too have been obsessed with the quest for a diagnosis. Why do I do the things I do? I am just now beginning to realize what a quixotic quest it is. Psychiatric diagnosis as it stands in the DSM-IV just isn't up to diagnosing any but the simplest real-life conditions.
I have been to a psychologist for a battery of personality tests. Results? Nothing I didn't know and nothing that explained why I do the things I do.
I have read books on "personality disorders" and looked for that "ah-hah" sense of recognition. Results? I have a fair amount of a few disorders but don't meet the DSM-IV criteria for any.
Well, at least I have a firm diagnosis of OCD, right? Nope. My latest psychiatrist thinks that while I'm certainly obsessive, I don't actually have OCD, but just obsessive features that accompany my cyclothemia. I think he's wrong on that one. I've come to terms with my OCD and I just don't mention it much to him, so he doesn't see the full extent of it.
I wish that SPECT analysis could pin it down, but the technology doesn't yet appear to be worth the investment of time and money.
So I am left with "What is wrong with me? Why do I do the things I do?", and the answer is "Who knows?" Diagnostically I am a little bit of a lot of things and nothing completely. Will I stop tilting at windmills and give up the quest for diagnosis? No, probably not. A diagnosis would be so organizing, a way to think about myself that would tie things together and provide a map to the tangle of my thoughts.
Too much navel gazing? Perhaps. But the reason behind it is sound. Currently I have no idea what my reaction will be to any given situation. I have no idea why I do the things I do. I have this sense that analyzing these things will provide the key to changing them.
Posted by Mr.Scott on January 19, 2002, at 15:24:33
In reply to Re: another try and encouragement » Mr. Scott, posted by IsoM on January 19, 2002, at 2:10:31
Iso,
I thank you again! And I agree you and Seamus are right about derailing the thought process and actually just doing something! I'd like to perhaps only revisit my problems and how they are labeled and hence treated once every 6 months instead of 25 times a day. I want so bad to know why and what because I cant tolerate the uncertainty about what it is that is actually standing between me and true happiness. But I know this is more important as a whole than any one pill or diagnosis. Sometimes I need reminding, and i thank you for the push in the right direction.
Scott
Posted by cindylou on January 19, 2002, at 20:19:34
In reply to Awe..Come on Now?, posted by mr.scott on January 18, 2002, at 12:49:36
Hey Mr. Scott,
I haven't been able to visit the board for a few days, so this is the first time I've read your message -- what a bummer! I have had days like yours ... where one worry leads into another and then another ... it snowballs until I am so encompassed by worry and fear and anxiety I get frozen. It sucks!It does pass, though. And I think for me it's mostly anxiety, although I have been diagnosed with OCD too since I tend to obsess over things --I'd say it's probably a combination of things.
Have you tried Lamictal yet? My anxiety and obsessions have reduced dramatically, although it's taken a few months for the Lamictal to kick in -- it is quite a pain going through the "titrating process" with the Lamictal and I almost gave up on it several times. My pdoc kept telling me that I looked and acted a lot better since I started it, and encouraged me to stick with it. Now I'm glad she did -- just in the past week or so I've noticed a difference.
For the most part, I hope that you are feeling better now -- I have noticed that those spiraling bouts of anxiety and obsessions do pass. Sometimes just vegging out in front of the TV (if I'm in a place/time where I can do that) helps me escape and regroup.
Hang in there, and keep us posted!
-cindy> I expected a few more posts, Wheres the love and support?
>
>
> > Sorry...This long so please skip if you haven't the time..
> >
> > Today I awoke feeling pretty good, I went to work, and everything seemed okay. I noticed I was in a good mood, and immediately became suspicious that I was hypomanic as I always watch out for. I did have music and random disorganized thoughts Zooming around my head, but I had also skipped a dose of Klonpin the night before and chalked it up to rebound anxiety. So this morning I took .5mg of Klonopin and 75mg of Effexor and had my cup of coffee, and went about my merry way. Then out of nowhere I remembered a comment my doctor had dropped about Klonopin. He said it was anti-potentcy with regard to sexual functioning. This began to worry me a great deal, and while I was physically involved in other projects and with other peopl, my mind was spinning an anxious web and I started thinking my sexual perfromance might be negatively impacted, and was there another drug that I could take instead of Klonopin to treat mild dysphoric mania or anxiety (I'm not really sure which it is!)
> >
> > I was actually disappointed that I couldn't at that very moment test to see if indeed my sexual potency had been affected!
> >
> > Then I began surfing the net for research on Klonopin impacting sexual potency, and other research that might help clarify whether or not I am manic or anxious or have OCD, because nobody seems to know!
> >
> > Then I noticed how common weight gain was listed as a side effect of Depakote even though it would technically be the prefered drug for my kind of bipolar disorder assuming that is what I have, and that upset me even more.
> >
> > By now feeling tired and physically ill with worry, I decided to pose the following question to the PB group.
> >
> > What in the name of F___ is wrong with me!!!!!!!!
> >
> > Is this mind spinning mania, OCD, or Anxiety.
> >
> > Thanks for posting your thoughts,
> >
> > Mr.Scott
Posted by cindylou on January 19, 2002, at 20:25:00
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response, posted by Seamus2 on January 18, 2002, at 22:24:38
Seamus,
If you've "been there done that" I suppose your response would be less harsh and more understanding. If you've really "been there," then you should know that when a person gets in such a spiraling state of anxiety they are paralyzed by it.Mr. Scott did got out and DO something -- he got himself onto the computer and reached out for help. That takes A LOT OF EFFORT when he is feeling the way he does.
-cindy
>
> I can sympathize because I've "been there, done that" and know the obsessive quality it takes on.
>
> Go out and DO something, instead. Make a list of three things you like to do way from the computer, pick any one, and go do it instead.
>
> Seamus
Posted by Mr. Scott on January 20, 2002, at 16:14:02
In reply to Re: Awe..Come on Now? » mr.scott, posted by cindylou on January 19, 2002, at 20:19:34
Thank You Cindy!!
I think you're right about anxiety and obsessiveness being the problem, and i sincerely appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post!!!!
I tried Lamictal but got a rash on my wrist :(!!
Scott
Posted by noa on January 23, 2002, at 18:15:57
In reply to Re: Awe..Come on Now? » cindylou, posted by Mr. Scott on January 20, 2002, at 16:14:02
Scott, it does sound like an awful, escalating anxiety spin that day. How are you now?
Posted by Mr. Scott on January 23, 2002, at 21:33:44
In reply to Re: Mr. Scott, posted by noa on January 23, 2002, at 18:15:57
Hi Noa,
I've been better for the most part. Perhaps stressed, fatigued, or mildly depressed, but too busy at work to think of anything but work. This will pass eventually though. I still obsess daily about whether I've got an anxiety disorder or bipolar II? When I was younger I obsessed about having ADD. I don't know why I just can't leave myself alone sometimes...
Thanks for asking!Scott
This is the end of the thread.
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