Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2002, at 8:38:15
In reply to Re: Thanks for trying ISOM! blunt response » Seamus2, posted by Mr. Scott on January 19, 2002, at 1:42:37
> Just can't seem to stop thinking about why and exactly how I'm F___ up. Somehow I believe that If I know the answers I'll be able to change.
>
> ScottI know exactly what you mean. I too have been obsessed with the quest for a diagnosis. Why do I do the things I do? I am just now beginning to realize what a quixotic quest it is. Psychiatric diagnosis as it stands in the DSM-IV just isn't up to diagnosing any but the simplest real-life conditions.
I have been to a psychologist for a battery of personality tests. Results? Nothing I didn't know and nothing that explained why I do the things I do.
I have read books on "personality disorders" and looked for that "ah-hah" sense of recognition. Results? I have a fair amount of a few disorders but don't meet the DSM-IV criteria for any.
Well, at least I have a firm diagnosis of OCD, right? Nope. My latest psychiatrist thinks that while I'm certainly obsessive, I don't actually have OCD, but just obsessive features that accompany my cyclothemia. I think he's wrong on that one. I've come to terms with my OCD and I just don't mention it much to him, so he doesn't see the full extent of it.
I wish that SPECT analysis could pin it down, but the technology doesn't yet appear to be worth the investment of time and money.
So I am left with "What is wrong with me? Why do I do the things I do?", and the answer is "Who knows?" Diagnostically I am a little bit of a lot of things and nothing completely. Will I stop tilting at windmills and give up the quest for diagnosis? No, probably not. A diagnosis would be so organizing, a way to think about myself that would tie things together and provide a map to the tangle of my thoughts.
Too much navel gazing? Perhaps. But the reason behind it is sound. Currently I have no idea what my reaction will be to any given situation. I have no idea why I do the things I do. I have this sense that analyzing these things will provide the key to changing them.
poster:Dinah
thread:90605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020116/msgs/90755.html