![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 5 to 29 of 29. Go back in thread:
Posted by EricJ on June 20, 2001, at 12:24:53
In reply to Re: ADs and love » Joe Schmoe, posted by Wendy B. on June 20, 2001, at 10:20:19
Wow... this is very similar to what I have just experienced... met this great guy in February when I was on Effexor... He's somewhat "unavailable" as well, but I was dealing with the situation just fine - keeping things casual, enjoying my life, enjoying my other friends, etc... I went off the Effexor and about a month later the obsessive thoughts started about him... "what is he doing?" "is he with someone else right now?" I literally would think about him first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and started waking up at 3 a.m. EVERY morning thinking about him... It was hell.
I became depressed again, went on Wellbutrin which kicked in about 2 weeks ago... and guess what? NO OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS! I'm able to look at the relationship (or lack thereof) objectively now and I'm enjoying my life again.
hmmm... are obsessive thoughts a result of the depression or is the depression a result of the obsessive thoughts?
I've been in and out of therapy and on and off anti-depressants for 12 years now... I've done my best to change my "self-talk" and work through my feelings, etc... and I've definitely learned some skills which help my relationships with myself and others. I've gone to therapy thinking that if I just worked hard enough and found the right books to read, etc, then my self-esteem would be high, I'd be able to maintain healthy relationships, and life would be all good...
I'm beginning to realize, however, that (for me, at least) I'm going to need the help of ADs in order to get the life that I want. This is a big change for me. I'd always looked at ADs as a way to bring me up out of the depths of depression to make me "normal" again... Once I wasn't depressed anymore, I felt I "should" go off of them... Their job was done.
Well, at this point, I'm beginning to look at ADs as being a permanent part of my life, much as a diabetic would look at insulin as part of his life. Has anyone else had a reckoning like this? I'd love to hear people's thoughts on ADs as temporary treatment vs. permanent life-long therapy.
And Joe, I sincerely sympathize with your situation... I also felt like I was back in high school. I hope it gets better for you. Take care.
Posted by kid_A on June 20, 2001, at 12:34:20
In reply to ADs and love, posted by Joe Schmoe on June 19, 2001, at 17:45:04
I'm going to agree w/ Dana on this one. I am in a very similar situation that you are in, except my object of affection just happens to be my best friends girlfriend...It doesnt really matter who it is or what, I had similar paterns with other girls... Things were broken inside of me that did not let me progress beyond the loss. Any loss. I could not come to grips w/ the facts of a situation, and it seemed like I couldnt go on...
The one important thing, and my crush who is actually a good friend, convinced me of this, is to seek some form of councelling. I dont think that just taking a pill is going to solve all of our problems... It can be tremendously helpfull if you can find someone to talk to who understands how you feel and can give you some insite as to how you can learn to grow as a person...
I mean thats what this is all about, right? Hopefully some of us out there grow as individuals so that we can look at ourselves in a new aspect and see starlight, not a black hole.
Posted by dnuk on June 20, 2001, at 18:44:50
In reply to Re: ADs and love » Joe Schmoe, posted by kid_A on June 20, 2001, at 12:34:20
Yes, yes, yes.
While on Paxil I dated a girl who I SHOULD have felt something for. She met every requirement of my "dating grocery list." I tried to MAKE myself fall for her. Didn't work. And, I'll admit to being one historically critical of women who chase complete losers relentlessly, gripe about these guys, but won't give the proverbial "nice guy" (don't read awkward or a doormat) a second look.
Still not sure what it was..a) not the right "chemistry"; b) being burned in the past & being jaded; or c) the paxil. Maybe a combination of all 3. Regardless, I'm not convinced the paxil, & resulting plummet of sex-drive wasn't the cause.
Posted by Wendy B. on June 20, 2001, at 18:56:31
In reply to Re: ADs and love » Joe Schmoe, posted by kid_A on June 20, 2001, at 12:34:20
>
> I'm going to agree w/ Dana on this one. I am in a very similar situation that you are in, except my object of affection just happens to be my best friends girlfriend...
>
> It doesnt really matter who it is or what, I had similar paterns with other girls... Things were broken inside of me that did not let me progress beyond the loss. Any loss. I could not come to grips w/ the facts of a situation, and it seemed like I couldnt go on...
>
> The one important thing, and my crush who is actually a good friend, convinced me of this, is to seek some form of councelling. I dont think that just taking a pill is going to solve all of our problems... It can be tremendously helpfull if you can find someone to talk to who understands how you feel and can give you some insite as to how you can learn to grow as a person...
>
> I mean thats what this is all about, right? Hopefully some of us out there grow as individuals so that we can look at ourselves in a new aspect and see starlight, not a black hole.
Hi there Kid_A and others,Ugh, your best friend's girlfriend. What could be more difficult? When I have been in situations like this, I always get other people/friends/family telling me to "find a new group of friends," which I find SO un-helpful... Why do I expect them to understand? I'd much rather go to the PsyBabble Boards, and get some real empathy, from the "friends" I've never met, but who really do understand.
Anyway, I hope what I was saying about trying the Serzone together with the Paxil wasn't taken in the wrong way. I do think that what EricJ and I are saying is that the meds are definitely helpful, they break the cycle of those brain patterns & synapses sparking off in the same old ways they always did. And they can, if you're lucky, bring some relief, as Joe has found.
But I didn't mean that one should just take meds. I am a firm believer in finding the kind of therapist who understands, and who has empathy, and who can help you break out of repetitive patterns. Yeah, that IS what it's all about. You have to talk it out, it doesn't just disappear by itself.
As for what Eric says: yes, I have days where I look at the pill bottles, and try to remember if I took 2nd doses of the wellbutrin or the neurontin, and sometimes I forget because forgetfulness or short-term memory loss seems to be a problem lately. And I think, shit, do I really have to take these >for the rest of my life< ??? It's kind of mind-bending, you know? But I remind myself of the insulin/diabetes analogy, too, or the person with high blood pressure who has to take meds for that. What's the diff? Really. There is no difference. It's just the stigma of being labeled crazy, or depressed, or whatever.
So I take the meds, and I resign myself to it. But I also thank god that there are drugs that can help me feel so much better, and know it's the right thing.Signing off for now,
Wendy
Posted by kid_A on June 20, 2001, at 19:56:47
In reply to Re: ADs and love, meds vs. self-talk » kid_A, posted by Wendy B. on June 20, 2001, at 18:56:31
> Ugh, your best friend's girlfriend. What could be more difficult? When I have been in situations like this, I always get other people/friends/family telling me to "find a new group of friends," which I find SO un-helpful
Refering to my twisted emotions, someone once told me, "just don't think that way"... well we know this is just like saying, "Just Say No"... for a myriad of reasons, this just doesnt work.
My post by no means was meant to infer condemnation of anyones post as meds being a 'cure all', by all means, certainly meds are probably the bigest catalyst for my own growth, and I don't think I would be able to handle the tough road ahead without some chemical assistance.
...but it is also great to know that there are people out there who do understand suffering, and who maybe can share a moment of clarity with one another... Meds, counseling, talking... connection... whatever gets you out of a daze and through your day.
Posted by PuraVida on June 21, 2001, at 2:05:25
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by EricJ on June 20, 2001, at 12:24:53
Eric -
I totally identify - I go through the same cycle you do - thinking I'm OK and wanting to go off meds, and, if I do, finding out painfully that I shouldn't have. Sometimes I think that, if everything in my life were fairly stable, I could try to go off meds. But, when in the world will that be ever????
To me, there is an in between to what you say. Depressed or not, obsessive "are they seeing someone else" thoughts will surface. The choice is in whether you label them irrational, or real. AD's help me to realize they are just mormal, irrational thoughts, that everyone has. Then we think through them and throw them away.I am expecting to be on AD's all my life - for 5 years I haven't been successful going of them, and I've had a lot of poop outs. If that is what it takes, I'll do it. I think, maybe if i go through a spell of a few years where I really, really can't remember what depression is like, maybe I'll try to taper down, but ever so slowly - like years. I never, never want to relapse again, so I'll take the meds as needed as amn insurance policy...
Liz
> Wow... this is very similar to what I have just experienced... met this great guy in February when I was on Effexor... He's somewhat "unavailable" as well, but I was dealing with the situation just fine - keeping things casual, enjoying my life, enjoying my other friends, etc... I went off the Effexor and about a month later the obsessive thoughts started about him... "what is he doing?" "is he with someone else right now?" I literally would think about him first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and started waking up at 3 a.m. EVERY morning thinking about him... It was hell.
>
> I became depressed again, went on Wellbutrin which kicked in about 2 weeks ago... and guess what? NO OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS! I'm able to look at the relationship (or lack thereof) objectively now and I'm enjoying my life again.
>
> hmmm... are obsessive thoughts a result of the depression or is the depression a result of the obsessive thoughts?
>
> I've been in and out of therapy and on and off anti-depressants for 12 years now... I've done my best to change my "self-talk" and work through my feelings, etc... and I've definitely learned some skills which help my relationships with myself and others. I've gone to therapy thinking that if I just worked hard enough and found the right books to read, etc, then my self-esteem would be high, I'd be able to maintain healthy relationships, and life would be all good...
>
> I'm beginning to realize, however, that (for me, at least) I'm going to need the help of ADs in order to get the life that I want. This is a big change for me. I'd always looked at ADs as a way to bring me up out of the depths of depression to make me "normal" again... Once I wasn't depressed anymore, I felt I "should" go off of them... Their job was done.
>
> Well, at this point, I'm beginning to look at ADs as being a permanent part of my life, much as a diabetic would look at insulin as part of his life. Has anyone else had a reckoning like this? I'd love to hear people's thoughts on ADs as temporary treatment vs. permanent life-long therapy.
>
> And Joe, I sincerely sympathize with your situation... I also felt like I was back in high school. I hope it gets better for you. Take care.
Posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 10:33:21
In reply to Re: ADs and love » EricJ, posted by PuraVida on June 21, 2001, at 2:05:25
All I can say to the above posts is "ditto". But what should I do if the crush is on pdoc? Change doctors? I've never had such thoughts. Could it be the medication? Wellbutrin was added to counteract Celexa tiredness and wow. I feel alive again. But now I am afraid of my thoughts. Self talk isn't working. The empathy of pdoc to my situation is great but I'm obsessing. I've been on WB for 2 weeks. What should I expect? or do? Thanks, JaneB
>
>
Posted by AMenz on June 21, 2001, at 11:15:32
In reply to Re: What if the crush is on pdoc?, posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 10:33:21
It's called transference. It is common. Do not act on it.
> All I can say to the above posts is "ditto". But what should I do if the crush is on pdoc? Change doctors? I've never had such thoughts. Could it be the medication? Wellbutrin was added to counteract Celexa tiredness and wow. I feel alive again. But now I am afraid of my thoughts. Self talk isn't working. The empathy of pdoc to my situation is great but I'm obsessing. I've been on WB for 2 weeks. What should I expect? or do? Thanks, JaneB
> >
> >
Posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 11:22:51
In reply to Re: What if the crush is on pdoc?, posted by AMenz on June 21, 2001, at 11:15:32
> It's called transference. It is common. Do not act on it.
>
Does transference go away? If not, I would think I would have to change doctors because just the thoughts bring guilt.
Posted by Willow on June 21, 2001, at 12:05:26
In reply to Re: transference, posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 11:22:51
Have you mentioned it to the doctor? Are you in a relationship?
Willow
Posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 13:13:12
In reply to Re: transference, posted by Willow on June 21, 2001, at 12:05:26
> Have you mentioned it to the doctor?
No, I haven't mentioned it to him. And I won't.
>Are you in a relationship?
Yes, I am married. It's either something pdoc said or the Wellbutrin. This isn't like me. Can WB cause transference? JaneB
Posted by Willow on June 21, 2001, at 16:29:37
In reply to Re: transference, posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 13:13:12
I see how it can make you feel guilty. When I started the effexor, and everytime I increase the dose I notice the opposite sex more.
My psych's voice over the phone. My gp looks charming. On and on ...
It fades with time.
Perhaps you should talk to the psych about it. Is it a psychologist or psychiatrist?
An Understanding Willow
ps on the social board someone mentioned that in your early 30's you go through these angst.
Posted by Wendy B. on June 21, 2001, at 17:28:51
In reply to Re: transference, posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 13:13:12
> > Have you mentioned it to the doctor?
> No, I haven't mentioned it to him. And I won't.
Hi Jane,
I know this is a difficult feeling to talk about. But you should definitely talk to your therapist about how you feel. He is a _professional_, and has had this discussion with many of his patients/clients, believe me. He is trained to work with you on just these issues. The transference is the "meat," so to speak, of every therapeutic relationship.
As I understand it, we project onto the therapist alot of qualities that they may or may not have, but what we need them to represent to us. For example, my therapist represented to me the empathetic mother I never had. It's different for everybody, but mostly has to do with childhood events or needs or traumas, etc.So please do say something, even if it's hard to talk about, even if it makes you cry during the session... I think we owe it to ourselves to get the most out of every session, and that means telling the truth and not hiding stuff.
I know people hate Freud (I don't, but there you go...), but he was the first to discuss the transference issue in a scholarly way. There is also the "counter-transference," which is the therapist's love for the patient, which is also totally normal, and what the therapist talks about when he goes to his sessions with _his_ therapist. Which most of them do, at least in the beginning of their work as pdocs. It's called the training analysis. So take heart! they have to discuss difficult stuff, too.
> >Are you in a relationship?
> Yes, I am married. It's either something pdoc said or the Wellbutrin. This isn't like me. Can WB cause transference? JaneBAs for the meds, this is precisely another reason to talk to the therapist about the issue... He may be able to offer insight on the wellbutrin, too. But the discomfort you're feeling is coming from you, not the drug, it's allowing you to get in touch with something, I believe.
Anyway, just my opinions. If it's too tough, you might want to switch therapists and go to a woman. There have been some interesting discussions on the Babble Boards about men vs. women therapists, do a search for them if it interests you.
I wish you luck, and courage!
Wendy
Posted by AMenz on June 21, 2001, at 18:06:34
In reply to Re: transference, posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 13:13:12
JaneB,
Having read the various posts in reply to your dr. crush, I fall on the side of not mentioning it *unless* your doctor is a talk therapist. Is a psychopharmacologist in the business of assessing symptoms and prescribing meds equiped to discuss transference. Je ne le croit pas!
It will pass, and if you like the guy silently there's no harm in that.
I remember over the years having crushes on doctors and never being all that upset about it. So you are not alone. It's also OK, isn't it to find others attractive while married, if you keep your commitment to your spouse.
I have found while on AD's that I am more attractive to the opposite sex than when off them. Lower anxiety level? But not that my own libido is up. Usually on AD's it down.
> > Have you mentioned it to the doctor?
> No, I haven't mentioned it to him. And I won't.
>
> >Are you in a relationship?
> Yes, I am married. It's either something pdoc said or the Wellbutrin. This isn't like me. Can WB cause transference? JaneB
>
Posted by JaneB on June 21, 2001, at 21:26:48
In reply to Re: transference, posted by AMenz on June 21, 2001, at 18:06:34
You've all been very helpful. Thanks.
Posted by JennyR on June 21, 2001, at 22:58:31
In reply to ADs and love, posted by Joe Schmoe on June 19, 2001, at 17:45:04
I really have a thing for my therapist too, but it doesn't get in the way. I guess a question to ask is does it get in the way of the work? I'm crazy about mine because of how incredibly in tune with me he can be, and how good the connection feels. So that's a good thing. I'm a little obsessed with him, but in my own mind, I don't stalk him or anything. So if it makes me feel wonderful that someone really listens and really helps me figure things out, and really remembers my stuff, and acts very caring - that's all great.
I have talked about it to some degree, about how his praise means a lot, which lead to fruitful discussions of how I didn't get it as a kid. Or how I really appreciate that this is the one place where my perspective really matters and I'm greatful, and then will talk about what it was like in my family and how what I felt never mattered. So this stuff can be a good springboard for discussion. And I am totally clear on the boundaries, and actually really like the boundaries because they make me feel safe, so there's no issue of any false hopes of anything more than it is. But what it is is great and I wouldn't want to change it.
Good feelings for a therapist a "positive therapeutic alliance" is a good thing, unless you feel yourself hopelessly wanting more from him, in which case it is getting in the way. Then it should definitely be addressed.
Also, we tend to endow them with almost superhuman qualities, see them as these perfect beings. In real life, they have their problems too. We just tend to idealize them. It's normal.
Posted by JaneB on June 22, 2001, at 6:59:40
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by JennyR on June 21, 2001, at 22:58:31
> I really have a thing for my therapist too, but it doesn't get in the way. I guess a question to ask is does it get in the way of the work?
I don't consider him a therapist. Just a pdoc who sees me for med checkups. I felt he was offering more intimate services that are missing in my marriage. I could have been wrong and acted naive. But then the "what ifs" started plagueing me. Or the Wellbutrin kicked in and gave me fantasy thoughts. Or the depression has me ruminating. I don't think he has therapy skills so I won't mention it. But I will be cautious.
Why don't pdocs have therapy skills? How can we trust their medication advice if we can't talk openly?
Does Wellbutrin cause a heightened sexual arousal effect when first taken? Or could it have been what seemed like an offer of other services? I feel like I have to change docs as I write my thoughts. Thanks for listening. I know I sound confused. I'm losing sleep over this.
Posted by EricJ on June 22, 2001, at 8:24:15
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by JaneB on June 22, 2001, at 6:59:40
Hi Jane -
I've been on Wellbutrin for 4 weeks (today)... definitely had increased sexual arousal... but, it actually seemed to level out this week. So, I'd suggest hanging in there a couple more weeks to see how the Wellbutrin levels off for you.
Something you said, though, has me concerned... am I right in understanding that you believe your doctor offered sexual services to you or made a sexual/romantic advance? If that is the case, and the next time you see him you get the same impression, I would immediately change to another physician. While the great majority of physicians and therapists would NEVER put a patient or client in that position, unfortunately there are those who do. If you are uncomfortable in the situation, you have a right to change, regardless of whether you are "reading into" or "correctly reading" his actions.
Also, do you have a therapist you can talk to? One thing that I addressed in therapy the past couple years was my ability to trust my impressions of others and to trust my ability to make the correct decisions for myself.
Take care of yourself - and remember, you have the power to make a change in this situation if you need to.
> Does Wellbutrin cause a heightened sexual arousal effect when first taken? Or could it have been what seemed like an offer of other services? I feel like I have to change docs as I write my thoughts. Thanks for listening. I know I sound confused. I'm losing sleep over this.
Posted by JaneB on June 22, 2001, at 9:44:09
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by EricJ on June 22, 2001, at 8:24:15
> Hi Jane -
>
> I've been on Wellbutrin for 4 weeks (today)... definitely had increased sexual arousal... but, it actually seemed to level out this week. So, I'd suggest hanging in there a couple more weeks to see how the Wellbutrin levels off for you.EricJ: If Wellbutrin increases sexual arousal--why is it not prescribed as an intermittent augmentation to drugs that have adverse sexual side effects (like Celexa?) Why not take W for one day a week or as often as desired? Why is Periactin prescribed this way and not Wellbutrin?
>
> Something you said, though, has me concerned... am I right in understanding that you believe your doctor offered sexual services to you or made a sexual/romantic advance?Yes, you are right.
> If that is the case, and the next time you see him you get the same impression, I would immediately change to another physician. While the great majority of physicians and therapists would NEVER put a patient or client in that position, unfortunately there are those who do. If you are uncomfortable in the situation, you have a right to change, regardless of whether you are "reading into" or "correctly reading" his actions.
>
> Also, do you have a therapist you can talk to?No, but I wish I did have someone I could talk to.
>Take care of yourself - and remember, you have the power to make a change in this situation if you need to.Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
JaneB
Posted by Willow on June 22, 2001, at 13:18:12
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by JaneB on June 22, 2001, at 9:44:09
*If Wellbutrin increases sexual arousal--why is it not prescribed as an intermittent augmentation to drugs that have adverse sexual side effects (like Celexa?) Why not take W for one day a week or as often as desired? Why is Periactin prescribed this way and not Wellbutrin?
Jane, everytime I raise my dosage of effexor I turn into a live radar. I think Wellbutrin can be stimulating too. You hear a lot of people complaining about lowered sex drive on effexor. Maybe the effect only happens to a few people, not enough to make it standard practise.
Willow
Posted by Wendy B. on June 22, 2001, at 17:32:49
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by JaneB on June 22, 2001, at 9:44:09
> Hi Jane -
> >
> > I've been on Wellbutrin for 4 weeks (today)... definitely had increased sexual arousal... but, it actually seemed to level out this week. So, I'd suggest hanging in there a couple more weeks to see how the Wellbutrin levels off for you.
>
> EricJ: If Wellbutrin increases sexual arousal--why is it not prescribed as an intermittent augmentation to drugs that have adverse sexual side effects (like Celexa?) Why not take W for one day a week or as often as desired? Why is Periactin prescribed this way and not Wellbutrin?
I don't know, but I think it is sometimes prescribed for this, but Cam or SalArmy might know. I am on it too, for about 7 months, and it makes me feel more alive and gives me energy - maybe things we need to be atrractive to others and feel good about ourselves...?> >
> > Something you said, though, has me concerned... am I right in understanding that you believe your doctor offered sexual services to you or made a sexual/romantic advance?
>
> Yes, you are right.Sorry, Jane, if I had known he was just a pdoc, AND that he was making an unwanted sexual advance toward you, I would not have written the long diatribe about discussing it in therapy & transference, etc. We didn't have the whole story, so I'm afraid I said the wrong things, my apologies.
>
> > If that is the case, and the next time you see him you get the same impression, I would immediately change to another physician. While the great majority of physicians and therapists would NEVER put a patient or client in that position, unfortunately there are those who do. If you are uncomfortable in the situation, you have a right to change, regardless of whether you are "reading into" or "correctly reading" his actions.
> >
> > Also, do you have a therapist you can talk to?
>
> No, but I wish I did have someone I could talk to.
Jane, you really need to find another pdoc and a also a therapist who can help you, sometimes they can be the same person (I go to a nurse practitioner who does psychotherapy and can prescribe meds, so I get two in one). In any case, you have to get away from this guy, and if it were me, I would report him to the liscensing board... His actions were very wrong and abusive.>
> >Take care of yourself - and remember, you have the power to make a change in this situation if you need to.
>
> Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
> JaneB
>I hope Eric's comments have helped, and I hope you can feel better about all this soon. Please let us know how it works out.
A concerned,
Wendy
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 22, 2001, at 22:50:47
In reply to ADs and love, posted by Joe Schmoe on June 19, 2001, at 17:45:04
> Well, I am having a strange experience.
>
> A few months ago I went on Serzone, mostly for social anxiety, but also for minor depression. One of the reasons I have been depressed is a crush I have on a woman who, for various reasons, is not available to me for a possible relationship. This crush has been very unpleasant, since it is such a hopeless situation, it basically makes me feel like a high schooler mooning over some girl who would never go out with him. It has ruined many weekends and taken the pleasure out of most activities.
>
> The Serzone, while worthless for the social anxiety, did weaken the crush to the point where it was almost gone and I could see this woman as a regular person with flaws. Lately I have been tapering off the Serzone in preparation for trying Paxil - I am down to 250 mg/day now from 550 mg/day - and the crush is returning! For the first time in months I am mooning over this woman again. It is most distressing! I am hoping the Paxil will banish these feelings again when I go on it.
>
> Anyone else have surges/drops of romantic feelings while going on/off antidepressants?Hi Joe,
Have you ever thought of trying Seroquel
or Zyprexa for your romantic crush?
Unrequited love is painful; what makes you
think the situation is hopeless??Glenn
Posted by Joe Schmoe on June 23, 2001, at 9:29:45
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 22, 2001, at 22:50:47
Thanks to everyone for their comments in this thread.
> Have you ever thought of trying Seroquel
> or Zyprexa for your romantic crush?I don't know what those are. I have never considered the idea of taking something for my crush because I did not think of crushes as something that could be medicated - until my experience with the Serzone, which is making me think this is no ordinary crush, but rather a mental health problem. My main concern is social anxiety, and to a lesser extent, depression. I am hoping the Paxil will help me with all these problems.
> Unrequited love is painful; what makes you
> think the situation is hopeless??Trust me, it is hopeless. This crush is unwanted. I am already in a successful relationship, and so is she, among other reasons. Looking at it objectively she is also not my type and I would be miserable with her in the long run. I am intellectual, she is materialistic, etc. For the first time I have been attracted to someone totally inappropriate. There is a total disconnect between what I feel for her and what I think of her. It is very weird. I have never understood those women who seem attracted to men who are bad for them, but I understand that better now! It sucks to be attracted to someone who you know would be bad for you.
Tapering off the Serzone is taking forever but I am down to my last week on the stuff, can't wait to try the Paxil.
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 24, 2001, at 1:07:17
In reply to Re: ADs and love » Glenn Fagelson, posted by Joe Schmoe on June 23, 2001, at 9:29:45
> Thanks to everyone for their comments in this thread.
>
> > Have you ever thought of trying Seroquel
> > or Zyprexa for your romantic crush?
>
> I don't know what those are. I have never considered the idea of taking something for my crush because I did not think of crushes as something that could be medicated - until my experience with the Serzone, which is making me think this is no ordinary crush, but rather a mental health problem. My main concern is social anxiety, and to a lesser extent, depression. I am hoping the Paxil will help me with all these problems.
>
> > Unrequited love is painful; what makes you
> > think the situation is hopeless??
>
> Trust me, it is hopeless. This crush is unwanted. I am already in a successful relationship, and so is she, among other reasons. Looking at it objectively she is also not my type and I would be miserable with her in the long run. I am intellectual, she is materialistic, etc. For the first time I have been attracted to someone totally inappropriate. There is a total disconnect between what I feel for her and what I think of her. It is very weird. I have never understood those women who seem attracted to men who are bad for them, but I understand that better now! It sucks to be attracted to someone who you know would be bad for you.
>
> Tapering off the Serzone is taking forever but I am down to my last week on the stuff, can't wait to try the Paxil.Hi Joe,
It sounds like you've got a touch of
lust and infatuation. I have been through
that and I hope I never have to go through
it again. Seroquel and Zyprexa are atypical
major tranquilizers that are good for sleep,
social anxiety, paranoia and refractory
depression. I take Zyprexa and it is also
good for obsessive or fixated thinking.
I hope you get over the "bug" pretty
soon.
Keep me posted!Good luck, Glenn
Posted by Else on June 24, 2001, at 12:23:21
In reply to ADs and love, posted by Joe Schmoe on June 19, 2001, at 17:45:04
I see things in a completely different way. I used to get these major crushes all the time and they
were mostly unrequited (and even if they had been, I was to busy staring at my shoes). I started
taking Zoloft two years ago and noticed that my libido had completely vanished. I would never even
notice attractive men as I had before, and even when I did I didn't feel the "enthusiasm" I once
felt. I did not go on one single date for the whole time I was on it. But I also noticed I was no longer
driven to do anything in other aspects of my life as well. I became pretty much indifferent to everything
which does have its advatages: you can make rationnal judgements, but I love being obsessive, I love feeling
possesed by an idea (or the idea of a person). I felt I was no longer myself so I stopped. Maybe this is just
me but I feel these drugs take away as much as they give. Now I only take Rivotril (Klonopin) and Wellbutrin and I feel like I am back. I don't like this state of mind ADs put you in. It's like renouncing joy so that you can renounce pain. Sometimes the pain warrants this but sometimes it doesn't.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.