![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyR. on May 25, 2000, at 15:52:31
I can't stop crying all i can think about is killing myself, I saw my dr. today & after talking to me he wanted to see me again this tuesday but i told him no. I don't want to be a bother to him & plus i see my new psychiatrist that day. He was mad that i stop taking my meds,I didn't stop because i didn't want to take them anymore,i ran out & i was afraid to call my gp,i have a hard time calling people on the phone,i have panic attacks when i have to make a phone call,or anything to do w/ people.
My husband scared that i'm going to kill myself & he keeps asking me not too,but w/ all the shite he puts on me,yelling & talking to me like i'm a kid.there's more but i don't want to be a bother to anyone.sorry for being me.
Posted by boBB on May 25, 2000, at 17:45:45
In reply to feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 25, 2000, at 15:52:31
Sorry, i replied, but i typed into the wrong box, starting a new thread named "feelings," one thread down from this one. Anyway, here's to you!
Posted by Tina1 on May 25, 2000, at 18:01:24
In reply to look down there /, posted by boBB on May 25, 2000, at 17:45:45
Never think you are bothering any of us. It's what we are all here for, we help eachother. When I can't get in to see my doc and I'm scared I get on the net and talk to babble. No matter what time of day it is, there's always someone listening somewhere. You aren't bothering your doctor either and if you are-so what? That's what they are paid for-by you I might add. If your doc makes you feel like you are bothering him/her ditch 'em and find a new one. Please don't stop the meds, withdrawal can be worse than your initial problems, you have to get more. I don't mean to get up on a soapbox here but I'm very worried and I always seem to lecture when I worry, sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I'm here if you want to talk and you aren't going to bother anyone. Don't give up on yourself or your doctor, there IS help out there. Just demand it and don't stop til you get it, it's your right.---Hugs, Tina
> Sorry, i replied, but i typed into the wrong box, starting a new thread named "feelings," one thread down from this one. Anyway, here's to you!
Posted by Noa on May 25, 2000, at 18:46:01
In reply to Kelly, you're not a bother, posted by Tina1 on May 25, 2000, at 18:01:24
Kelly, how awful for you.
I hate to see you suffer.
First order of business: get back on meds. Who can help you do this?
Then: need to make a plan for who can help you in situations like running out of meds. Need to have a back-up system, because of the panic problem.
Posted by jbird on May 25, 2000, at 20:55:04
In reply to Re: Kelly, you're not a bother, posted by Noa on May 25, 2000, at 18:46:01
> Kelly-
Don't ever give up! Don't give in to the suicidal feelings. Do whatever you have to to feel better. You are never a bother to people who care about you and want to help you - let them do what they can to help you. Just take one day at a time.
What helps me sometimes when I feel suicidal is to remember the movie It's a Wonderful Life. Yes, it's sentimental and cliched, but you just never know how many lives are affected by your own.
Posted by z on May 26, 2000, at 8:46:21
In reply to feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 25, 2000, at 15:52:31
kelly,
i totally agree with the others--DON'T GIVE UP ON
THE MEDS!!!! for what it's worth, i went through
a long period of death ideation. i'd wake up each
morning with horrible feelings of despondency. i
felt like i could not face the challenges that the
day would provide me with. when i started taking
paroxetine however, these feelings went away. i
always knew that my perspective on life was
irrational; i knew that i was just as capable of
accomplishing things as anyone else. the paxil
just helped me believe this even more; it made my
body and mind react accordingly.
have you tried paxil or any other ssri's?
do not give up! if your husband isn't being
supportive, find someone who will be. do you
attend a church? there are always helpful, caring
people to be found there.take care,
-z
Posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 15:58:35
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by z on May 26, 2000, at 8:46:21
> kelly,
>
> i totally agree with the others--DON'T GIVE UP ON
> THE MEDS!!!! for what it's worth, i went through
> a long period of death ideation. i'd wake up each
> morning with horrible feelings of despondency. i
> felt like i could not face the challenges that the
> day would provide me with. when i started taking
> paroxetine however, these feelings went away. i
> always knew that my perspective on life was
> irrational; i knew that i was just as capable of
> accomplishing things as anyone else. the paxil
> just helped me believe this even more; it made my
> body and mind react accordingly.
> have you tried paxil or any other ssri's?
> do not give up! if your husband isn't being
> supportive, find someone who will be. do you
> attend a church? there are always helpful, caring
> people to be found there.
>
> take care,
> -zI didn't give up on meds,I ran out & don't have a dr. appt. til tuesday.I would of called but haveing panic attacks when i tried & call.Still not doing good everyone at work kept asking what was wronge w/ me,I just told them that i was tired.My husband said he had a dream that he found me dead,I didn't know what to say to him after he said that.I don't want to have anyone worry about me.thank you all for caring so much it helps alote.
Posted by Noa on May 26, 2000, at 16:12:52
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 15:58:35
Kelly, since the panic symptoms get in the way of the telephone calls, could someone else do this for you? Could you make a deal with your husband or someone else that at those times, they would call for you? It seems a shame to let the panic get in the way of getting your medication if the medication is helping. It kind of sets up a catch-22.
Posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 16:39:38
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by Noa on May 26, 2000, at 16:12:52
> Kelly, since the panic symptoms get in the way of the telephone calls, could someone else do this for you? Could you make a deal with your husband or someone else that at those times, they would call for you? It seems a shame to let the panic get in the way of getting your medication if the medication is helping. It kind of sets up a catch-22.
Noa,
MY husband wouldn't call for me he said that the only way to get over this is to do it myself.He us to call for me when i couldn't.That seems like it would work but it doesn't help me in times like this.Your right catch-22
Posted by Noa on May 26, 2000, at 16:46:02
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 16:39:38
I think he is right about the GOAL of getting you to do it yourself. But the catch is that not having a safety net is likely to make the panic symtpoms worse.
Would he agree to be such a safety net if you were to commit to doing some therapy work specifically aimed at the phone fears--ie, a different kind of therapy, something more behavioral.
Posted by Abby on May 26, 2000, at 16:48:14
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 16:39:38
Kelly,
Not much in the way of ideas to offer, but you have my warmest sympathies. Do you have any relatives or close friends who could help you. Could you have the pharmacy call you when it's time to refill?
Abby
Posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 17:22:14
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by Noa on May 26, 2000, at 16:46:02
> I think he is right about the GOAL of getting you to do it yourself. But the catch is that not having a safety net is likely to make the panic symtpoms worse.
>
> Would he agree to be such a safety net if you were to commit to doing some therapy work specifically aimed at the phone fears--ie, a different kind of therapy, something more behavioral.Noa, It's not just phone fears it's more social phobias,I have a hard time just being in large group of people,like the stores,work,outside,things like that.My therapiest has been working w/ me on this matter for 4yrs now & slowly but surely it's getting bettter,can work now & get my own gas for my car.
Posted by Archangel on May 26, 2000, at 17:30:51
In reply to feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 25, 2000, at 15:52:31
Kelly,
Please, please, **PLEASE** do not resort to a permanent solution for your temporary problem. Hang in there. Until you can get back on the meds, rely on this board to help you get through your temporary problem. You are not a bother to anyone here. Many people have reached out to you. I'm glad to see you reaching back. Don't let go. Kelly, please don’t be sorry for being you. The good people here *DO* sincerely care about you. You’re in my prayers...
Michael
> I can't stop crying all i can think about is killing myself, I saw my dr. today & after talking to me he wanted to see me again this tuesday but i told him no. I don't want to be a bother to him & plus i see my new psychiatrist that day. He was mad that i stop taking my meds,I didn't stop because i didn't want to take them anymore,i ran out & i was afraid to call my gp,i have a hard time calling people on the phone,i have panic attacks when i have to make a phone call,or anything to do w/ people.
> My husband scared that i'm going to kill myself & he keeps asking me not too,but w/ all the shite he puts on me,yelling & talking to me like i'm a kid.there's more but i don't want to be a bother to anyone.sorry for being me.
Posted by Carol on May 27, 2000, at 0:50:26
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by Archangel on May 26, 2000, at 17:30:51
Kelly,
Whenever the thought of suicide comes into my mind
I remind myself of the devistation a suicide can
cause for those who are left. Last summer my daughter's
boyfriend's brother committed suicide and when I saw
what it did to that family I vowed I would never
do it. I will just have to be strong and know that
others had got past this point. The last three months
have been very hard for me with changing meds and
thoughts of dying certainly go through my mind but
then I think of how my daughter was affected by that
suicide last summer and I know I must struggle on.Keep writing for support here. I am glad I found
Psycho-babble.
Thinking of you.
Carol
Posted by medlib on May 27, 2000, at 0:54:41
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by Archangel on May 26, 2000, at 17:30:51
Kelly--
I know that feeling of worthlessness that comes from being unable to take care of basic needs; I ofen have trouble leaving my house. I take several meds which would be scary or dangerous to be without (among them Effexor XR and BP drugs), and I have had to devise ways to avoid running out. Maybe one or two of these will help you as well:
--I have an emergency stash--I put a 3-day supply of all daily prescription meds in a marked empty pill bottle in my dresser. If I have to dip into the stash, I leave the bottle out until it can be replenished with the new rx.
--I use a 7-day pill case refilled every Sun morning. That way I can't avoid noticing when I have less than a week's supply left. I leave the near-empty bottle next to the phone until it gets called in for refill.
--I use a pharmacy which has a 24-hour voice mail refill line. That way, I can call it in whenever I think of it and don't have to speak to a real person--just leave my name, phone no. and prescription no. (If no refills remain, all pharmacists will call the doc's office for you.)
--I have no insurance, so must shop for the lowest price locally. If you have prescription insurance, many more options are available to you. You may be able to find a pharmacy that takes your ins. plan and will deliver. Many pharmacies which deliver allow charge accounts, so the co-pay amount can be charged to your card automatically and the slip delivered with your meds. Perhaps your therapist could help you set up such a plan, if you research it first.
--Once your med needs are stable, an online pharmacy is a possibility. If your ins. plan will allow it, you can ask your pdoc for a 10 day-2 week emergency supply to be filled locally and get them to fax the main (renewable) rx to the drug site of your choice. I intend to use this option.
--I keep a 1-day supply of meds in a bottle in my purse, along with prn (as needed) meds like migraine rx and antacids.
When you teeter on the brink like I do, meds are the one thing I can't afford to screw up; an automatic, no decision routine can help prevent a really bad situation from becoming disastrous.
Tuesday is a fresh page for you with a new pdoc! I hope s/he is both knowledgeable and caring. I hope also that you go with an intention to tell it like it is and a determination to get the quality care you *do* deserve. We'll be waiting to hear how it goes!
Well wishes---medlib
Posted by ChrisK on May 27, 2000, at 6:56:35
In reply to Re: Meds--Kelly (longish), posted by medlib on May 27, 2000, at 0:54:41
Kelly,
I know it's saturday morning and you have to wait til tuesday but my pharmacy was always willing to give me a five day emergency supply for meds that I was already taking if I ran into a problem. They would just make sure that I refilled things on time after that.
Are you still taking the Zyprexa or did you completely give up on that? I know you had some problems with it but it has been great for me and suicidal thoughts. You just need to get through that first two weeks of sedation even though it's tough.
You'll be in my prayers this weekend,
Chris
Posted by CarolAnn on May 27, 2000, at 8:18:55
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by kellyR. on May 26, 2000, at 17:22:14
Kelly, Where do you live? Anywhere near Orlando, FL?(I can't remember if you posted this). I would like to actively help you. Please just concentrate on getting thru the weekend. When you see the new Dr. ask about joint counseling for you and your husband. If your husband won't do it, tell him you need this to happen if he wants you to get well! He really needs to have a professional explain your problems and give him options to helping you in the bad times.
You are in my prayers, please don't stop posting, we have all been where you are and we all want to participate in helping you feel better! Sending you love! CarolAnn
Posted by Noa on May 27, 2000, at 10:24:44
In reply to Re: Meds--Kelly (longish), posted by medlib on May 27, 2000, at 0:54:41
I cannot tell you how impressed I am that you have organized this emergency preparedness system. I am in awe. I need to do something like this too, because one of the things my pdoc does very poorly is respond promptly to requests for prescription refills. The voice mail message says to give them 24 hours to process it, but even after 48 hours, I still have to hunt them down and be a pest to get it done. It is not the staff's problem, it is my pdoc. Apparently, they nudge him and remind him, but he just doesn't get it done. I think he simply has too many patients, on top of being a highly disorganized person (I think he has a bad case of ADHD--seriously). The next time I see him (a week from today), I am going to be very straightforward with him about the way he runs his practice. He is a smart guy and knows his stuff and all, but he needs to hire a practice administrator to run the operations. I have talked about this before on this board--I don't want to change docs, but I might have to if things don't change.
Posted by Noa on May 27, 2000, at 10:25:20
In reply to Re: to kellyR, posted by CarolAnn on May 27, 2000, at 8:18:55
Kelly, how are you doing today?
Posted by kellyR. on May 27, 2000, at 14:54:01
In reply to Re: to kellyR, posted by Noa on May 27, 2000, at 10:25:20
> Kelly, how are you doing today?
Still not doing good, but i went to work today after having a hard time waking up,I was a little late for work but i talked to the head nurse on my wing & told her what was going on,she then went on how dangerest it is to stop meds & me almost passing out during the week could for been the reason why.
I'm so sick of beening like this can't stop cring,cutting myself,sleeping all the time,thinking & planing of a way to do myself in.If i had my husbands guns i would of used it aready,but the cops took them away under dr's order last year still can't get them back.sorry for saying that.It's starting to rain here in nj & the kids are outside so i geuss i should go get them in.3 more days
Posted by Noa on May 27, 2000, at 15:21:10
In reply to Re: to kellyR, posted by kellyR. on May 27, 2000, at 14:54:01
Kelly, I am impressed that you managed to get yourself to work despite how depressed you are. This adds to my image of you as an incredible caregiver--dedicated, warm, gentle and respectful of the patients' dignity. That you can overcome the despair you feel right now to go to work and give to others, well, that is truly a gift.
Posted by Kellie on May 28, 2000, at 11:04:42
In reply to Re: feeling very down(suicidal), posted by Carol on May 27, 2000, at 0:50:26
Kelly, get your pharmacist to make deliveries. Most pharmacists are very understanding about medical problems and yours can deliver your meds when it's time for a refill. Don't go without them, one of the symptoms of depression is that you think your meds aren't doing any good when they are actually helping. Has your husband ever talked to your doctors? They can explain to him that your illness causes these problems and his support in crises is essential. Don't ever let go. Kellie
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.