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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Colleen on February 27, 2000, at 1:52:02
I'm really lonely. I have been isolating myself, afraid to make contact with other people. I'm even making excuses to not be with my husband and daughter. I'm having a terrible time letting people get close to me. I have always been very shy and uncomfortable around people, especially since I suffer from schizoid affective disorder. I take meds for my depression and obsesive thoughts but I wish there is some thing that would help me open up to people and allow people into my life. I have been reading this site for several months now and I have found it to be informative and interesting. I wanted to respond to some of the items that I saw but was afraid. You all seem so close to each other. It's late, cold, raining and I'm siting here with tears feeling sorry for myself. I don't know what to do. I'm really depressed. If no one answers this I understand. I guess I'm trying to reach out.
Posted by JohnL on February 27, 2000, at 4:47:19
In reply to Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Colleen on February 27, 2000, at 1:52:02
> I'm really lonely. I have been isolating myself, afraid to make contact with other people. I'm even making excuses to not be with my husband and daughter. I'm having a terrible time letting people get close to me. I have always been very shy and uncomfortable around people, especially since I suffer from schizoid affective disorder. I take meds for my depression and obsesive thoughts but I wish there is some thing that would help me open up to people and allow people into my life. I have been reading this site for several months now and I have found it to be informative and interesting. I wanted to respond to some of the items that I saw but was afraid. You all seem so close to each other. It's late, cold, raining and I'm siting here with tears feeling sorry for myself. I don't know what to do. I'm really depressed. If no one answers this I understand. I guess I'm trying to reach out.
Colleen,
I'm so sorry for the way you are feeling. I can sure relate. Sometimes I think being stuck in a wheelchair would be less of a handicap, yeah?
What you describe fits into the symptom category of schizophrenia called negative symptoms. It is also common in depression, anxiety, and social phobias. What meds are you taking? Your symptoms will respond nicely to the correct meds, so I am wondering what your current meds are...??? Thanks. JohnL
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 6:09:29
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by JohnL on February 27, 2000, at 4:47:19
Colleen,
Welcome. I'm glad you took the plunge to chime in.
I agree with John about needing to find the right med combo.
Also, group therapy can help, too, once you feel a bit more stable. In a way, this is kind of my group therapy.
It is interesting that you look at us and feel like an outsider. We are all outsiders. It is just by communicating with each other here that we have come to know each other a bit.
Glad you spoke up.
Posted by ChrisK on February 27, 2000, at 6:23:29
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 6:09:29
I'm glad you finally felt comfortable and spoke up. There are a lot of times I feel isolated and I feel like nothing can help. Most of that is gone now because I was able to find the right meds for me. Two years ago I was so lost that I attempted suicide twice. It was a terrible time but I got through it. Now I don't even consider that an option. What I'm trying to say is that there is hope. If it can happen to me who has been depressed the better part of the last 20 years then it can happen for you.
There is a lot of help available to you. Don't be afraid to speak up around here. There are a lot of good people here.
Welcome to this community and let us know how you are doing.
Chris
Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 6:54:57
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by ChrisK on February 27, 2000, at 6:23:29
Chris, I have read some of your posts about different meds, but am interested in knowing what your total cocktail is. Do you mind sharing? Also, was two years ago the first time you started meds in all those twenty years? How did you get through all those years? Was there a cyclical pattern to your depression?
I think I have struggled with depression since around age 10, at which time it was only minor. In adolescence it got worse, and I was extremely shy and lonely. It was cyclical, and I would have some good times especially in certain settings (summer camp, for example), and in college it came and went. In my early twenties in intensified and I became suicidal. Then I got into therapy and after a couple of years, started to improve, with fluctuating moods, but improving coping skills and social confidence. By my late twenties, I thought I was done with it, although I did have small bouts of mood problems, but my social confidence and confidence in my working skills was bolstering me a lot. At around thirty, I did have some more problems with depression, and took Prozac for about 8 months, and again a year later for about 6 months. Again, I felt better and thought it had been "corrected" and I was done with it. Then, a couple of years later, after a major move to another city, and after the breakup of a shortlived but very intense romantic relationship, I started having problems again. I saw a therapist who presented the idea of me having a lifelong struggle with depression, which I bristled at, because I had invested so much in the idea of being "done" with my depression. Her point was that I needed medication. I decided to give it a try again, but it was less effective this time around, and I needed higher and higher doses, but didn't tolerate the side effects at higher doses, etc. I also had developed apnea, which made the depression even more resistant to treatment. It has been an ordeal, finding the right meds, because it seems my depression became more cyclical, with more frequent cycles, and more resistant to medications.
When I'm depressed, I tend to isolate myself, too. I hide in my very messy apartment, and don't want too much stimulation. Noises seem louder. I feel like I can't process as well, noises, sights, any input to my brain.
What do you do, Colleen, when you isolate yourself? How do you fill time?
Posted by Carolyn on February 27, 2000, at 16:16:38
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 6:54:57
I, too struggle with isolation. I think it is a pretty common thing with depression. Sadly I failed to recognize that my meds really weren't working for quite a while this time. I stopped talking at work (unless absolutely necessary). I transferred my calls to someone else's phone. When my phone rang I would get up and leave my desk. I spent a lot of time in the ladies room.
I did somewhat better at home...though I wanted to isolate, I really fought it because of the 15 year old we are hoping to adopt. Now I am short term disability from work, which was a tremendous relief. I make myself get up, shower and dress at least by 10 a.m. I try to take a walk every day. I read engrossing fiction which can hold my attention. I set a goal to accomplish cleaning one room, or at least a part of one room of my house each day. I spend lots of time right here, or playing solitaire. And I hold on to the hope that new meds will work any day now.
Posted by Colleen on February 27, 2000, at 18:14:20
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 6:54:57
I've been battlelingthis disorder since my childhood. When I want to isolate myself I hide in a room or on a corner of my couch and read. I ignore everyone. I wake up and all I want to do is read. I find that I can go into another dimension and not deal with what is around me. But unfortunatly I have to work to support my familiy. I feel lucky that I have a office where I can shut the door and just zone out.
The meds I'm on are 300mg Effexor, 400mg Wellbutrin, 2mg Risperdal.
Noa -- I also have problems with noises. At times it seams as if everything has been amplified. I makes me very nervous and upset. I have a habit of trying to find where the noises are comming from and getting very frustrated.
I'm very touched from the response from everyone. I'm afraid though that this will not last. I seem to not be able to keep people around me. Maybe I'll approach this with caution. But all of you are very kind and decent.
Colleen
Posted by Renee N on February 27, 2000, at 23:42:59
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Colleen on February 27, 2000, at 18:14:20
When I want to isolate myself I hide in a room or on a corner of my couch and read. I ignore everyone. I wake up and all I want to do is read. I find that I can go into another dimension and not deal with what is around me.
Coleen,
Welcome! I'm glad you came. I have had no real friends since reaching adulthood. I love my family, but it's not enough. My husband has always been a homebody, and kind of a hermit. I used to be very outgoing. At work I am very friendly and believe that most people there enjoy my company, and think I'm good at my job. But I don't seem to know how to get past the acquaintance stage to the do things together, call eachother, etc. stage. I feel like a social failure. I know some of my problem has been that I'm not a great housekeeper, but part of me is a perfectionist. I fear I will look less than perfect if people see my home. No one ever invites me or my husband and I as a couple to do anything. I never invite others. I always think that they will think I am weird for thinking that we were close enough for acting like friends instead of acquaintances. I feel very close to tears as I write this. I hide this part of myself from whoever I can. I don't even understand what is "normal" for adults as far as social life goes. I have done lots of things with my kids. My husband doesn't do much with us outside our home. I can't depend on them for my social support. I am very glad to at least have my cyber friends here. Coleen, these are the most caring and intelligent people you could ever hope to befriend. Just pop in on any thread you want. Everyone will make you feel welcome and appreciated.
I don't think what I have described is social anxiety, is it? I am very friendly and have no problem talking to people wherever I am. I start conversations with strangers quite often. Any advise or comments would be appreciated from anyone. If I've already written about this, please excuse me. I have trouble keeping track of whom I tell what...ADD, remember? ;)
> The meds I'm on are 300mg Effexor, 400mg Wellbutrin, 2mg Risperdal.
I'm on 225 Effexor XR, 150 Wellbutrin SR, and 30 ADDerall. My pdoc said I could only go up to 225 Effexor XR. Is this because the regular and XR forms have different limits. I believe I've read of people taking much more. I wonder if I got up to 300, would I feel less sleepy?
Posted by Cindy W on February 28, 2000, at 9:30:11
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Renee N on February 27, 2000, at 23:42:59
> > The meds I'm on are 300mg Effexor, 400mg Wellbutrin, 2mg Risperdal.
>
> I'm on 225 Effexor XR, 150 Wellbutrin SR, and 30 ADDerall. My pdoc said I could only go up to 225 Effexor XR. Is this because the regular and XR forms have different limits. I believe I've read of people taking much more. I wonder if I got up to 300, would I feel less sleepy?Renee, I'm taking 300 mg/day Effexor-XR, and I feel more energetic and less sleepy.--Cindy W
Posted by Carolyn on February 28, 2000, at 9:53:45
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Cindy W on February 28, 2000, at 9:30:11
Are you sure we are not twins separated at birth? My husband and I rarely do anything with friends, either. I have some good friends, but don't see them too often. I chalk this up to...we both work at pretty good distances from home, and when we do get home we're just happy to be together. And people are so busy these days, they just don't have time to form strong bonds.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. But why not try and make the first overture towards friendship with one of your acquaintances?
You might be surprised to find out they were looking for a friend, too!
Posted by Renee N on February 28, 2000, at 22:28:57
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by Cindy W on February 28, 2000, at 9:30:11
>
>
> > > The meds I'm on are 300mg Effexor, 400mg Wellbutrin, 2mg Risperdal.
> >
> > I'm on 225 Effexor XR, 150 Wellbutrin SR, and 30 ADDerall. My pdoc said I could only go up to 225 Effexor XR. Is this because the regular and XR forms have different limits. I believe I've read of people taking much more. I wonder if I got up to 300, would I feel less sleepy?
>
> Renee, I'm taking 300 mg/day Effexor-XR, and I feel more energetic and less sleepy.--Cindy WCindy, Did you feel sleepy on a lower dose? I find myself consistantly staying up way too late during the week, which certainly doesn't help matters. I need you guys to tell me to go to bed! I f you catch me on here on a weeknight after midnight central time, tell me to get to bed and then don't answer my posts! Maybe I need to rent a mom, or something...
Posted by Renee N on February 28, 2000, at 22:37:51
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, to Renee, posted by Carolyn on February 28, 2000, at 9:53:45
> Are you sure we are not twins separated at birth? My husband and I rarely do anything with friends, either. I have some good friends, but don't see them too often. I chalk this up to...we both work at pretty good distances from home, and when we do get home we're just happy to be together. And people are so busy these days, they just don't have time to form strong bonds.
> I don't think there's anything wrong with you. But why not try and make the first overture towards friendship with one of your acquaintances?
> You might be surprised to find out they were looking for a friend, too!Thank you for the pep talk. I will try. There are two people I have in mind to ask if they'd like to go out for coffee, or a walk by the river, or maybe play tennis. I'll let you know ...
Earlier you were talking about isolating yourself at work. How do you feel when you do that? You don't want to talk about work? You don't want to try to make small talk? Do you feel good about the work you do?
I am always pretty peppy at work. Sometimes I use up all my energy there and don't have any left for my family. I come home and read the paper in my bed, and often it is very hard to get up and do anything else. I wish I could just lay around and read or rest for a few hours.
What meds have you tried? Are you saying your current dose of effexor isn't working, or were you feeling like isolating yourself in the past and are better now?
Posted by Cindy W on February 29, 2000, at 9:11:10
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, to Cindy, posted by Renee N on February 28, 2000, at 22:37:51
> I am always pretty peppy at work. Sometimes I use up all my energy there and don't have any left for my family. I come home and read the paper in my bed, and often it is very hard to get up and do anything else. I wish I could just lay around and read or rest for a few hours.
> What meds have you tried? Are you saying your current dose of effexor isn't working, or were you feeling like isolating yourself in the past and are better now?Renee, I have that same "peppiness" I think at work, and use up all my energy there, and when I get home, it's all I can do to feed my pets (which takes hours, due to OCD) and call a friend, answer email, then read until I crash. The current Effexor-XR (300) helps but I think I need to exercise more. I try to talk to people at work, but mostly have acquaintances, only a few friends there, and we don't really socialize outside of work. I live in a very isolated location so work is the only time I see people.--Cindy W
Posted by Cindy W on February 29, 2000, at 9:13:59
In reply to Re: Cindy--meds, posted by Renee N on February 28, 2000, at 22:28:57
> >
> >
> > > > The meds I'm on are 300mg Effexor, 400mg Wellbutrin, 2mg Risperdal.
> > >
> > > I'm on 225 Effexor XR, 150 Wellbutrin SR, and 30 ADDerall. My pdoc said I could only go up to 225 Effexor XR. Is this because the regular and XR forms have different limits. I believe I've read of people taking much more. I wonder if I got up to 300, would I feel less sleepy?
> >
> > Renee, I'm taking 300 mg/day Effexor-XR, and I feel more energetic and less sleepy.--Cindy W
>
> Cindy, Did you feel sleepy on a lower dose? I find myself consistantly staying up way too late during the week, which certainly doesn't help matters. I need you guys to tell me to go to bed! I f you catch me on here on a weeknight after midnight central time, tell me to get to bed and then don't answer my posts! Maybe I need to rent a mom, or something...
Renee, I felt sleepy during the day at a lower dose but had some trouble sleeping at night, at first. Now I can sleep fine and don't feel sleepy during the day, but don't think the depression (or OCD) is quite cured by any means yet.--Cindy
P.S. if it's midnight, please turn off the computer and go to bed, dear!
This is the end of the thread.
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