Posted by Noa on February 27, 2000, at 6:54:57
In reply to Re: Social Isolation - lonely, posted by ChrisK on February 27, 2000, at 6:23:29
Chris, I have read some of your posts about different meds, but am interested in knowing what your total cocktail is. Do you mind sharing? Also, was two years ago the first time you started meds in all those twenty years? How did you get through all those years? Was there a cyclical pattern to your depression?
I think I have struggled with depression since around age 10, at which time it was only minor. In adolescence it got worse, and I was extremely shy and lonely. It was cyclical, and I would have some good times especially in certain settings (summer camp, for example), and in college it came and went. In my early twenties in intensified and I became suicidal. Then I got into therapy and after a couple of years, started to improve, with fluctuating moods, but improving coping skills and social confidence. By my late twenties, I thought I was done with it, although I did have small bouts of mood problems, but my social confidence and confidence in my working skills was bolstering me a lot. At around thirty, I did have some more problems with depression, and took Prozac for about 8 months, and again a year later for about 6 months. Again, I felt better and thought it had been "corrected" and I was done with it. Then, a couple of years later, after a major move to another city, and after the breakup of a shortlived but very intense romantic relationship, I started having problems again. I saw a therapist who presented the idea of me having a lifelong struggle with depression, which I bristled at, because I had invested so much in the idea of being "done" with my depression. Her point was that I needed medication. I decided to give it a try again, but it was less effective this time around, and I needed higher and higher doses, but didn't tolerate the side effects at higher doses, etc. I also had developed apnea, which made the depression even more resistant to treatment. It has been an ordeal, finding the right meds, because it seems my depression became more cyclical, with more frequent cycles, and more resistant to medications.
When I'm depressed, I tend to isolate myself, too. I hide in my very messy apartment, and don't want too much stimulation. Noises seem louder. I feel like I can't process as well, noises, sights, any input to my brain.
What do you do, Colleen, when you isolate yourself? How do you fill time?
poster:Noa
thread:24225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000220/msgs/24245.html