![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 32. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Noa on February 2, 2000, at 23:08:53
When I got home today, and opened my apartment door, I was greeted by the lovely sound of...........nothing. Ahhhhh, that sounded great. No more running water to irk me. Of course, it isn't over, though because the guy apparently turned the hot water off altogether (the leaky faucet was the cold water).
This evening, I was enjoying the experience of *walking* from the living room through the front hallway to the bathroom, and even into the kitchen a bit. I say *walking* with emphasis, because what I previously had to do was more like navigating along craggy rocks in a stream, with thick vegetation in the way. A real obstacle course.
Even though there is still so much to clear out, it already seems like so much space is freed up. It almost makes me giddy. At the same time, there is this feeling of too much openness, not knowing what to make of the space. It is kind of like the anxiety of having options to choose from. Despite the restrictiveness, it can actually feel safer and more comfortable to not have choices. That is what the space issue is like for me. Being restricted in space by all the mess, left me having to live in a limited sphere, both literally and figuratively. Now, I both love the more open space, but am afraid of it. It beckons for me to move around in it, to occupy all the space, but it is scary for some reason.
Can anyone relate?
Posted by Cindy W on February 3, 2000, at 9:25:46
In reply to Lair Update, posted by Noa on February 2, 2000, at 23:08:53
> When I got home today, and opened my apartment door, I was greeted by the lovely sound of...........nothing. Ahhhhh, that sounded great. No more running water to irk me. Of course, it isn't over, though because the guy apparently turned the hot water off altogether (the leaky faucet was the cold water).
>
> This evening, I was enjoying the experience of *walking* from the living room through the front hallway to the bathroom, and even into the kitchen a bit. I say *walking* with emphasis, because what I previously had to do was more like navigating along craggy rocks in a stream, with thick vegetation in the way. A real obstacle course.
>
> Even though there is still so much to clear out, it already seems like so much space is freed up. It almost makes me giddy. At the same time, there is this feeling of too much openness, not knowing what to make of the space. It is kind of like the anxiety of having options to choose from. Despite the restrictiveness, it can actually feel safer and more comfortable to not have choices. That is what the space issue is like for me. Being restricted in space by all the mess, left me having to live in a limited sphere, both literally and figuratively. Now, I both love the more open space, but am afraid of it. It beckons for me to move around in it, to occupy all the space, but it is scary for some reason.
>
> Can anyone relate?Noa, I'm a hoarder/clutterer and can relate to what you say. It feels more "comfy" to me when a space is cluttered, although it is nice to be able to walk around the room and not knock things over . Did your space get that way just from fatigue/depression, or might you have a little OCD?--Cindy W
Posted by Noa on February 3, 2000, at 13:24:41
In reply to Re: Lair Update, posted by Cindy W on February 3, 2000, at 9:25:46
>Did your space get that way just from fatigue/depression, or might you have a little OCD?--Cindy W
Definitely from depression and fatigue. I don't know if there is an OCD-ish quality to it, but certainly not in the sense described by someone above, whose mother had a need to hoard all kinds of things.
I do get anxious about throwing some things away, feeling like I MIGHT need it someday, even though it hasn't been needed at all yet. But I can let go a lot easier than many people.
I think there is also the unattainable perfectionist ideals thing that I talked about above--why bother cleaning/trying to maintain neatness, when I can't even get it clean enough anyway.
But deep down, I think it is a total giving up, feeling like "why bother" at all. It is akin to not taking very good care of myself while I am depressed.
There is a touch of hoarder, though. I just remembered--I have things like a box full of empty cardboard 1" ring binders that I used during graduate school. I used to think I should keep everything, because if I needed it, then I wouldn't have to buy it again. But at this point, I am ready to give all that stuff away. In fact, recently I gave away a lot of that kind of thing--stuff I never use, but kept because I "might" need it someday--gave it to the fire department who was collecting for a family burned out of house and home.
Posted by Cindy W on February 3, 2000, at 20:54:29
In reply to Re: Lair Update, posted by Noa on February 3, 2000, at 13:24:41
> >Did your space get that way just from fatigue/depression, or might you have a little OCD?--Cindy W
>
> Definitely from depression and fatigue. I don't know if there is an OCD-ish quality to it, but certainly not in the sense described by someone above, whose mother had a need to hoard all kinds of things.
>
> I do get anxious about throwing some things away, feeling like I MIGHT need it someday, even though it hasn't been needed at all yet. But I can let go a lot easier than many people.
>
> I think there is also the unattainable perfectionist ideals thing that I talked about above--why bother cleaning/trying to maintain neatness, when I can't even get it clean enough anyway.
>
> But deep down, I think it is a total giving up, feeling like "why bother" at all. It is akin to not taking very good care of myself while I am depressed.
>
> There is a touch of hoarder, though. I just remembered--I have things like a box full of empty cardboard 1" ring binders that I used during graduate school. I used to think I should keep everything, because if I needed it, then I wouldn't have to buy it again. But at this point, I am ready to give all that stuff away. In fact, recently I gave away a lot of that kind of thing--stuff I never use, but kept because I "might" need it someday--gave it to the fire department who was collecting for a family burned out of house and home.Noa, I'm glad you can give things away. That's very hard for me, since I have to save everything in case it's needed some day. I understand the feeling of why bother, I can't get it clean anyway, too. Glad you were able to get things in shape and get the plumbing fixed!--Cindy W
Posted by Noa on February 3, 2000, at 21:07:08
In reply to Re: Lair Update, posted by Cindy W on February 3, 2000, at 20:54:29
Thanks, Cindy.
I can give things away now, but it has been easy for me all along. I also have that anxiety about "what if I need it someday?" But I guess there is a difference in degree. In some ways, getting so fed up with myself and how awful I let my place get, has given me this new perspective of wanting to be free of stuff and clutter, and of how absurd my previous "what if" holding on to stuff was, especially since my "lifestyle" of the past few years has cost me extra money because of stuff I couldn't find, stuff that broke in the mess, stuff I couldn't do "normally", like regular old cooking in the kitchen and therefore resorting to buying take out food, etc. So all those things I saved in case I needed them didn't save any money at all because of the waste created by the messiness. So this leaves me with the feeling of wanting to keep everything as simple as possible. Since life is hard for me to manage, I need to keep the stuff to a minimum. Less to manage. Let's see if I can put that into practice.
I still have a ton more to do to get this place together. What I cleaned so far is just the minimum for the plumber to be able to get in the door and to the bathroom.
Posted by Noa on February 4, 2000, at 3:26:56
In reply to Re: Lair Update, posted by Cindy W on February 3, 2000, at 20:54:29
Cindy, I had another thought about why it is hard for me to get rid of some things even though I know I haven't used them and am unlikely to need them.
I think a lot (not all, but a lot) of the stuff I hold on to represents some kind of failure I feel about myself, like something I failed to complete, or some way I did not meet expectations. For example, any kind of reading material started but not completed, whether for pleasure, for professional purposes, or for a class I started but stopped attending. Or little "projects" started and left undone, or incomplete. Anything from crafts to things I clipped to send to friends, to half written letters never finished or sent, etc. Or, barely worn clothes that don't fit because of gained weight.
I think that by holding on to stuff, I am postponing facing the fact that I "failed" in each of these ways. Failed to meet an expectation I set for myself. For me, this means Failed with the captial F, confirming that inner sense of being a Failure, no good, rotten, etc. So, holding on to stuff, for me, is an avoidance mechanishm. It both helps to avoid being conscious of the "schema" (core belief)of being a Failure, and I think it also helps to maintain that "schema".
Cindy, thanks for this dialogue about holding on to stuff--it helped me make this connection.
Posted by Cindy W on February 4, 2000, at 9:07:13
In reply to Re: Lair Update, posted by Noa on February 4, 2000, at 3:26:56
> Cindy, I had another thought about why it is hard for me to get rid of some things even though I know I haven't used them and am unlikely to need them.
>
> I think a lot (not all, but a lot) of the stuff I hold on to represents some kind of failure I feel about myself, like something I failed to complete, or some way I did not meet expectations. For example, any kind of reading material started but not completed, whether for pleasure, for professional purposes, or for a class I started but stopped attending. Or little "projects" started and left undone, or incomplete. Anything from crafts to things I clipped to send to friends, to half written letters never finished or sent, etc. Or, barely worn clothes that don't fit because of gained weight.
>
> I think that by holding on to stuff, I am postponing facing the fact that I "failed" in each of these ways. Failed to meet an expectation I set for myself. For me, this means Failed with the captial F, confirming that inner sense of being a Failure, no good, rotten, etc. So, holding on to stuff, for me, is an avoidance mechanishm. It both helps to avoid being conscious of the "schema" (core belief)of being a Failure, and I think it also helps to maintain that "schema".
>
> Cindy, thanks for this dialogue about holding on to stuff--it helped me make this connection.
Noa, I've enjoyed talking with you about holding onto stuff too. For me, holding onto stuff also represents not having to feel like a failure (unread books, clothes that don't fit)...I keep thinking eventually I'll read everything and lose weight. I've bagged up some old clothes and am trying to get up the courage to take them back to the Goodwill. Good luck cleaning the rest of your place (I think it would take me a decade!).--Cindy W
Posted by CarolAnn on February 4, 2000, at 9:31:35
In reply to Re: Lair Update, posted by Noa on February 4, 2000, at 3:26:56
Here's my thing:
I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff that other people can use. My thing is getting rid of stuff that really needs to go in the trash. I have tons of plasic bags and plastic containers and other stuff which I can't bring myself to throw away because...Okay, here it is...I am obsessed with recycling. I just feel this tremendous guilt if I throw away anything that should be recyclable, but *isn't* where I live. I feel guilty about sending anything "non-biodegradable" to the landfill. Although, I must admit I do use disposable diapers, but I feel really bad about it! Anyway, There it is, anyone else have anything even remotely similar going on? Probably not, you're all probably thinking, "geez, that is weird!". CarolAnn
Posted by Noa on February 4, 2000, at 12:36:13
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by CarolAnn on February 4, 2000, at 9:31:35
Not at all wierd. I feel that too, maybe not as intensely as you. I think I deal with it by using the defense called "denial" which we humans are good at: just don't think about the impact of your everyday actions on our world.
You would go NUTS here at the school I work at! The cafeteria uses a lot of polystyrene that doesn't get recycled.
Posted by Cindy W on February 4, 2000, at 22:01:45
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by Noa on February 4, 2000, at 12:36:13
> Not at all wierd. I feel that too, maybe not as intensely as you. I think I deal with it by using the defense called "denial" which we humans are good at: just don't think about the impact of your everyday actions on our world.
>
> You would go NUTS here at the school I work at! The cafeteria uses a lot of polystyrene that doesn't get recycled.
CarolAnn, part of my OCD is saving things that I intend to recycle but never do (tons of plastic bags, plastic containers, old batteries, pens that don't work, etc. etc.). This is part of my OCD (feeling responsible for everything, animate and inanimate). You might want to read up on OCD and see if that might be why it's so hard to throw things away.--Cindy W
Posted by torchgrl on February 4, 2000, at 22:33:09
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by Cindy W on February 4, 2000, at 22:01:45
> > Not at all wierd. I feel that too, maybe not as intensely as you. I think I deal with it by using the defense called "denial" which we humans are good at: just don't think about the impact of your everyday actions on our world.
> >
> > You would go NUTS here at the school I work at! The cafeteria uses a lot of polystyrene that doesn't get recycled.
> CarolAnn, part of my OCD is saving things that I intend to recycle but never do (tons of plastic bags, plastic containers, old batteries, pens that don't work, etc. etc.). This is part of my OCD (feeling responsible for everything, animate and inanimate). You might want to read up on OCD and see if that might be why it's so hard to throw things away.--Cindy WEeks--reading this thread is definitely reminding me of myself. I'm always saving things that I should recycle, or that I feel should have some useful function (empty boxes etc.), or that I may come up for a use for some day. As well as the whole unfinished business/failure aspect. Periodically, I find myself in Noa's position, and get rid of a ton of stuff in order to simplify, but it's never enough, and it always builds up again. I don't think I'm bonafide OCD, but there are definitely some aspects there... As I sit here tonight, I'm surrounded by stacks of magazines and newspapers that I either feel I need to read (regardless of their age), or I've read and I don't think I'll remember the useful info, so I need to keep (like I'm going to remember that there IS useful info)--when I decide I should throw them away, I can't do it without looking through to make sure I'm not throwing away something useful, then I find something and I'm right back where I started... AAAGH! I should just eliminate periodicals from my life :)
Posted by CarolAnn on February 5, 2000, at 9:42:31
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by torchgrl on February 4, 2000, at 22:33:09
I am a magazine fanatic! I get quite a few monthly and also buy interesting looking ones in stores. I have always had the same problem of having stacks of them from months and months ago lying around, because I either thought their was or knew their was something in them that I wanted to save. Finally, in a rare instance of extreme clutter clearance, I not only got rid of them all(donated them to the library), but came up with a plan to keep them from piling up. Here it is:
I made a rule that when I pick up a new magazine, as I read it, I immediately tear out any article, recipe, ect. that I think I want to keep. If I can't finish the magazine in one sitting, I mark my place, so that I will not go thru pages already read(I am quite capable of forgetting I've read something and wasting time on it.). Anyway, the pages I tear out go in a file, and the finished magazine immediately goes in a designated "donate to library bag", never to be picked up again. About every other month I go thru the file of magazine clippings, and anything that has not been used or had an actual planned time of use, is thrown away. This might all sound like a lot of trouble, but it's really not. I have found that a lot of things that I might have saved a magazine for, become less compelling, if I start to decide whether or not to actually tear the page out. Well, it works for me, and I like not having whole magazines to make "get rid of or keep" decisions about. Hope some of you find this helpful.CarolAnn
Posted by Renee N on February 5, 2000, at 18:44:07
In reply to Re: the thing with magazines..., posted by CarolAnn on February 5, 2000, at 9:42:31
> I am a magazine fanatic! I get quite a few monthly and also buy interesting looking ones in stores. I have always had the same problem of having stacks of them from months and months ago lying around, because I either thought their was or knew their was something in them that I wanted to save. Finally, in a rare instance of extreme clutter clearance, I not only got rid of them all(donated them to the library), but came up with a plan to keep them from piling up. Here it is:
> I made a rule that when I pick up a new magazine, as I read it, I immediately tear out any article, recipe, ect. that I think I want to keep. If I can't finish the magazine in one sitting, I mark my place, so that I will not go thru pages already read(I am quite capable of forgetting I've read something and wasting time on it.). Anyway, the pages I tear out go in a file, and the finished magazine immediately goes in a designated "donate to library bag", never to be picked up again. About every other month I go thru the file of magazine clippings, and anything that has not been used or had an actual planned time of use, is thrown away. This might all sound like a lot of trouble, but it's really not. I have found that a lot of things that I might have saved a magazine for, become less compelling, if I start to decide whether or not to actually tear the page out. Well, it works for me, and I like not having whole magazines to make "get rid of or keep" decisions about. Hope some of you find this helpful.CarolAnnGreat idea, Carol Ann! I didn't think I had this problem, but then my daughter started in on me about my reading material being all over the house. I also get many more books from the library tahn anyone could possibly read. Well, I do read at least parts of most of them. At least on here everything is saved for us and doesn't take up any physical space in our homes!
Posted by sandi on February 6, 2000, at 18:22:39
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by CarolAnn on February 4, 2000, at 9:31:35
> Here's my thing:
> I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff that other people can use. My thing is getting rid of stuff that really needs to go in the trash. I have tons of plasic bags and plastic containers and other stuff which I can't bring myself to throw away because...Okay, here it is...I am obsessed with recycling. I just feel this tremendous guilt if I throw away anything that should be recyclable, but *isn't* where I live. I feel guilty about sending anything "non-biodegradable" to the landfill. Although, I must admit I do use disposable diapers, but I feel really bad about it! Anyway, There it is, anyone else have anything even remotely similar going on? Probably not, you're all probably thinking, "geez, that is weird!". CarolAnn
CarolAnn-Honey, I do the same thing and have done it for years!!!!! It drives my parents crazy!! I moved to a new house in 1998 and they took it upon themselves to do things like organize my garage and attic while I was at work. I begged them not to throw out anything so they put it in boxes and put it in the attic. Get this, I live alone (except for my dog) in a three bedroom, three bath house with a very large bonus room and garage and EVERY closet, EVERY cabinet, EVERY shelf, EVERYTHING is filled to capacity. I have stacks of magazines, catalogs, plastic containers, and PLASTIC GROCERY SACKS. I currently have 2 33-gal. Hefty sacks full of plastic grocery sacks!!!! My dad begged me when I moved to not collect the things but I could not stop myself from sticking them in my pantry. It got so full that I could no longer see the food stored there and I would open the door just long enough to fling them in there then slam it before any escaped. My garage is now filling up and I only have a space just large enough to pull my truck in. So, you're not alone. If you think of a solution, let me know. Otherwise, I will remain forever--Full Of It.------sandi
Posted by mary on February 6, 2000, at 19:00:55
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by sandi on February 6, 2000, at 18:22:39
My car doesn't fit any more. At least there is still room for lawn mower.
Mary
> > Here's my thing:
> > I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff that other people can use. My thing is getting rid of stuff that really needs to go in the trash. I have tons of plasic bags and plastic containers and other stuff which I can't bring myself to throw away because...Okay, here it is...I am obsessed with recycling. I just feel this tremendous guilt if I throw away anything that should be recyclable, but *isn't* where I live. I feel guilty about sending anything "non-biodegradable" to the landfill. Although, I must admit I do use disposable diapers, but I feel really bad about it! Anyway, There it is, anyone else have anything even remotely similar going on? Probably not, you're all probably thinking, "geez, that is weird!". CarolAnn
>
>
> CarolAnn-Honey, I do the same thing and have done it for years!!!!! It drives my parents crazy!! I moved to a new house in 1998 and they took it upon themselves to do things like organize my garage and attic while I was at work. I begged them not to throw out anything so they put it in boxes and put it in the attic. Get this, I live alone (except for my dog) in a three bedroom, three bath house with a very large bonus room and garage and EVERY closet, EVERY cabinet, EVERY shelf, EVERYTHING is filled to capacity. I have stacks of magazines, catalogs, plastic containers, and PLASTIC GROCERY SACKS. I currently have 2 33-gal. Hefty sacks full of plastic grocery sacks!!!! My dad begged me when I moved to not collect the things but I could not stop myself from sticking them in my pantry. It got so full that I could no longer see the food stored there and I would open the door just long enough to fling them in there then slam it before any escaped. My garage is now filling up and I only have a space just large enough to pull my truck in. So, you're not alone. If you think of a solution, let me know. Otherwise, I will remain forever--Full Of It.------sandi
Posted by Noa on February 6, 2000, at 22:15:33
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by mary on February 6, 2000, at 19:00:55
If someone were to send a recycling truck tomorrow to take all that plastic and paper away, would you get rid of the stuff? What would it feel like if it were gone (to a proper recycling plant)?
Posted by CarolAnn on February 7, 2000, at 9:56:28
In reply to Re: question for the recyclers, posted by Noa on February 6, 2000, at 22:15:33
>>> If someone were to send a recycling truck tomorrow to take all that plastic and paper away, would you get rid of the stuff? What would it feel like if it were gone (to a proper recycling plant)? >>>
Noa, good question. I, for one, would feel totally cleansed. I would have no problem at all, as long as I knew that all the stuff was going to be recycled. And if there were a regular, once a week, truck like that, I would be able to shed a lot of guilt feelings, which I have everytime I purchase something that comes in such packaging. CarolAnn
Posted by Quilter on February 8, 2000, at 0:58:53
In reply to Re: my answer, posted by CarolAnn on February 7, 2000, at 9:56:28
> >>> If someone were to send a recycling truck tomorrow to take all that plastic and paper away, would you get rid of the stuff? What would it feel like if it were gone (to a proper recycling plant)? >>>
>
> Noa, good question. I, for one, would feel totally cleansed. I would have no problem at all, as long as I knew that all the stuff was going to be recycled. And if there were a regular, once a week, truck like that, I would be able to shed a lot of guilt feelings, which I have everytime I purchase something that comes in such packaging. CarolAnnHave any of you recyclers tried checking the recycling programs in nearby communities to see if they handle materials your community doesn't? This might involve transportation and perhaps fee payment but might be a feasible option.
Posted by Kim on February 8, 2000, at 20:37:04
In reply to Re: my answer, posted by Quilter on February 8, 2000, at 0:58:53
Hoarding--does anyone else save stuff that might be valuable someday? I make my husband nuts with all the fast food toys, etc, that I've got.
Second problem is saving every bit of paper that has anything to do with my or the rest of the family's life because SOMEDAY I'm going to organize it all and make wonderful scrapbooks.
Kim
Posted by Cindy W on February 8, 2000, at 21:52:18
In reply to "It might be worth something someday", posted by Kim on February 8, 2000, at 20:37:04
> Hoarding--does anyone else save stuff that might be valuable someday? I make my husband nuts with all the fast food toys, etc, that I've got.
>
> Second problem is saving every bit of paper that has anything to do with my or the rest of the family's life because SOMEDAY I'm going to organize it all and make wonderful scrapbooks.
>
> KimKim, I wouldn't save things that were totally worthless. Not only might they be valuable someday, I might run out of something and wish I hadn't thrown it away. (Wish I had all my childhood treasures, which would be worth a fortune now, like Mad Magazines!).--Cindy W
Posted by torchgrl on February 9, 2000, at 0:42:55
In reply to "It might be worth something someday", posted by Kim on February 8, 2000, at 20:37:04
> Hoarding--does anyone else save stuff that might be valuable someday? I make my husband nuts with all the fast food toys, etc, that I've got.
>
> Second problem is saving every bit of paper that has anything to do with my or the rest of the family's life because SOMEDAY I'm going to organize it all and make wonderful scrapbooks.
>
> KimI'm very guilty of this too. A box of random X-Files stuff--sure to be worth something, right?:) Maybe even more the longer I keep it...meanwhile, it's just taking up room in my bedroom, but there's NO way I can get rid of it. And my mother had to store a bunch of shoeboxes full of "mementos" from my high-school years when she moved a few years back. I think there are *several* different reasons I'm plagued with so much clutter, some better than others!
Posted by eleanor on April 13, 2000, at 13:31:14
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by mary on February 6, 2000, at 19:00:55
> My car doesn't fit any more. At least there is still room for lawn mower.
>
> Mary
>
> > > Here's my thing:
> > > I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff that other people can use. My thing is getting rid of stuff that really needs to go in the trash. I have tons of plasic bags and plastic containers and other stuff which I can't bring myself to throw away because...Okay, here it is...I am obsessed with recycling. I just feel this tremendous guilt if I throw away anything that should be recyclable, but *isn't* where I live. I feel guilty about sending anything "non-biodegradable" to the landfill. Although, I must admit I do use disposable diapers, but I feel really bad about it! Anyway, There it is, anyone else have anything even remotely similar going on? Probably not, you're all probably thinking, "geez, that is weird!". CarolAnn
> >
> >
> > CarolAnn-Honey, I do the same thing and have done it for years!!!!! It drives my parents crazy!! I moved to a new house in 1998 and they took it upon themselves to do things like organize my garage and attic while I was at work. I begged them not to throw out anything so they put it in boxes and put it in the attic. Get this, I live alone (except for my dog) in a three bedroom, three bath house with a very large bonus room and garage and EVERY closet, EVERY cabinet, EVERY shelf, EVERYTHING is filled to capacity. I have stacks of magazines, catalogs, plastic containers, and PLASTIC GROCERY SACKS. I currently have 2 33-gal. Hefty sacks full of plastic grocery sacks!!!! My dad begged me when I moved to not collect the things but I could not stop myself from sticking them in my pantry. It got so full that I could no longer see the food stored there and I would open the door just long enough to fling them in there then slam it before any escaped. My garage is now filling up and I only have a space just large enough to pull my truck in. So, you're not alone. If you think of a solution, let me know. Otherwise, I will remain forever--Full Of It.------sandiif your friends and family are concerned about your hoarding it might be a good idea to see a psychiatrist. You might have obsessive compulsive disease. There is medication that could possible free you from this compulsion to save.
Posted by Cindy W on April 13, 2000, at 21:22:04
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by eleanor on April 13, 2000, at 13:31:14
> > My car doesn't fit any more. At least there is still room for lawn mower.
> >
> > Mary
> >
> > > > Here's my thing:
> > > > I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff that other people can use. My thing is getting rid of stuff that really needs to go in the trash. I have tons of plasic bags and plastic containers and other stuff which I can't bring myself to throw away because...Okay, here it is...I am obsessed with recycling. I just feel this tremendous guilt if I throw away anything that should be recyclable, but *isn't* where I live. I feel guilty about sending anything "non-biodegradable" to the landfill. Although, I must admit I do use disposable diapers, but I feel really bad about it! Anyway, There it is, anyone else have anything even remotely similar going on? Probably not, you're all probably thinking, "geez, that is weird!". CarolAnn
> > >
> > >
> > > CarolAnn-Honey, I do the same thing and have done it for years!!!!! It drives my parents crazy!! I moved to a new house in 1998 and they took it upon themselves to do things like organize my garage and attic while I was at work. I begged them not to throw out anything so they put it in boxes and put it in the attic. Get this, I live alone (except for my dog) in a three bedroom, three bath house with a very large bonus room and garage and EVERY closet, EVERY cabinet, EVERY shelf, EVERYTHING is filled to capacity. I have stacks of magazines, catalogs, plastic containers, and PLASTIC GROCERY SACKS. I currently have 2 33-gal. Hefty sacks full of plastic grocery sacks!!!! My dad begged me when I moved to not collect the things but I could not stop myself from sticking them in my pantry. It got so full that I could no longer see the food stored there and I would open the door just long enough to fling them in there then slam it before any escaped. My garage is now filling up and I only have a space just large enough to pull my truck in. So, you're not alone. If you think of a solution, let me know. Otherwise, I will remain forever--Full Of It.------sandi
>
> if your friends and family are concerned about your hoarding it might be a good idea to see a psychiatrist. You might have obsessive compulsive disease. There is medication that could possible free you from this compulsion to save.CarolAnn and Eleanor, I'm a hoarder too! I have finally been able to throw away most of my plastic bags and plastic containers and stuff like that, but can't (so far) part with zillions of thrift store clothes that don't fit. I've been taking Effexor-XR, which helps with the guilty thinking/obsessions, and am trying to set goals for myself. Check out the H-C List at www.onelist.com; it is an email list for hoarders/clutters, and people are very nice, sharing their goals and reinforcing each other when they meet them and giving suggestions. They have helped me a lot! My car has improved, but I have a long ways to go (still have thrown out only half the magazines). Best wishes to you!
Posted by KarenB on April 14, 2000, at 10:30:49
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by Cindy W on April 13, 2000, at 21:22:04
You guys,
I have been accused of having the opposite problem - I LOVE to get rid of things. It's fun to decide who may have use of whatever it is and give it away. If I am not wearing an item of clothing on a regular basis, IT'S OUTTA HERE! Fortunately for my family, I don't get crazy with anyone else's things, just my own and the things I am responsible for. It's great. There is a lot to be said for minimalism. The more "stuff" you have, as far as I am concerned, the more it is a liability. Harder to move if you want to, that sort of thing. Geez, I even threw away my high school yearbook several years back. It only brought back bad memories (drug use, drinking, getting in trouble, unhealthy relationships) so out it went. I'm glad I did it.
I do keep photographs forever, though and every single craft or drawing my children have done.
In late '93, we sold everything we owned and took off for the Philippines, where we started a Christian leadership school for Filipino adults. We were there for five years. Owning nothing but our clothes was the best feeling I have ever had. What freedom!
Anybody relate to this or am I the weird one?
Karen
Posted by Cindy W on April 15, 2000, at 10:36:16
In reply to Re: a different kind of hoarding..., posted by KarenB on April 14, 2000, at 10:30:49
> You guys,
>
> I have been accused of having the opposite problem - I LOVE to get rid of things. It's fun to decide who may have use of whatever it is and give it away. If I am not wearing an item of clothing on a regular basis, IT'S OUTTA HERE! Fortunately for my family, I don't get crazy with anyone else's things, just my own and the things I am responsible for. It's great. There is a lot to be said for minimalism. The more "stuff" you have, as far as I am concerned, the more it is a liability. Harder to move if you want to, that sort of thing. Geez, I even threw away my high school yearbook several years back. It only brought back bad memories (drug use, drinking, getting in trouble, unhealthy relationships) so out it went. I'm glad I did it.
>
> I do keep photographs forever, though and every single craft or drawing my children have done.
>
> In late '93, we sold everything we owned and took off for the Philippines, where we started a Christian leadership school for Filipino adults. We were there for five years. Owning nothing but our clothes was the best feeling I have ever had. What freedom!
>
> Anybody relate to this or am I the weird one?
>
> KarenKaren, sounds like a wonderful way to be! I'm very envious. Would you please come to my home and throw things away? 8) Best wishes!
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