![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 233 to 257 of 299. Go back in thread:
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 21:53:25
In reply to Re: to Shar - huh?????, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 18:49:59
I perform at Renaissance Fairs with a music group (and it is a hassle for me to lug my couch around!). Anon was used then (1550's ) to mean later (we will meet anon) and anent means right now (we must go anent).
I have promised to stop innuendoing anent--right now. This is of course deeply disappointing to the HC. I may have to locate different Lumptonian quarters on the wrong side of the tracks. I have often been disapproved of for being too frisky.
TRHHCAHPR
> Dear Herstorical Curator, moderator of murky mysteries and mediator sublime, what the hell is an "anent" and how do you stop it??? As the keeper of the archives, language is your specialty but I am highly intelligent, well educated and can speak and write using more than one syllable per word .... except when in my purest Lump form. Does an "anent" have any connection to the innuendoes that are flying around? (Is flying allowed by Lumps???)
> Is the rumor true that ole Puppy Paws has been digging up a bone?
>
> CPE (confused person extraordaire) Ain't acronyms great? They can mean sooooooo many things!!!!
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 22:13:01
In reply to Down with innuendos UP with metaphors!, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 19:24:14
The office of Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research is now open to whomever wishes to take on the responsibility.
We have covered much Lumptonian history in just a few days, and had fun, and now we are apparently going to calm down for a while, which is a good time for a break.
Being now G rated, it won't take much to archive whatever remains.
I salute my fellow Lumptonians and wish them fun forever, creativity, and copious amounts of laughter. It has been a fun and unique experience for me. I must say that the most hilarious item I archived was the Lumptonian walk, and found the Labassador a consistent source of hilarity, as well. And many others brought smiles and laughs out loud. Thanks!!
> ...forward to G rating, back to Lumping!
>
> The intervention has worked and the Ambassador is thrilled to announce that a miracle has occurred. He is cured!
>
> This is not a trick!
>
> The Ambassador regrets he had to take the sordid discussion so far in order to get you guys to stop talking about all that stuff.
>
> The Ambassador was kidding just then!
>
> ...but the Ambassador was not funny, was he?
>
> Once again your Ambassodor will attempt to stand partially upright on his hind legs and shuffle along using the nationally approved form of Lumptonian bipedal locomotion.
>
> Additionally, the Ambassador has decided to lay off of health food for a while in that he suspects it may have contributed to his recent chemical imbalance.
>
> Long Live Lumptonia and Praise Be To Her!
>
> His Ol' Self,
>
> Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 22:17:02
In reply to Re: Down with innuendos UP with metaphors!GOL » B Day, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:38:10
Our Czarness,
Using her X-ray, MRI and PET vision, Sterling, the Couch Person Extraordinaire has determined that the Ambassador has possibly not quite recovered from his recent malady 100%. The Ambassador takes her assessment with greeeeeeat seriousness and will be listening with cocked ears (I swear I'm jes' talkin' about ears here. Sometimes ears are just ears :-/) if she has any other such helpful information for him.
This is because of the Ambassador's affection for her which in part due to the near telepathic link which seems to exist between the The CPE and himself. It is in part because they are so well aligned Lumposophically. Mostly, it is because he thinks she is jes' so coooool!
Knowing she would never purposely do anything to agitate the Ambassador's delicate "condition" or (shudder) cause him to "relapse", it grieves the Ambassador to bring the following matter to the attention of the Innuendo Enforcement Agency. (short paws) ...and I quote:
Re: Up and down...up and down....
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 19:49:01Your Czarness, is this or is it not an instance of unconscious innuendo? Surely not, but on the other hand ...is she at it again? Is it possible that via their telepathic link the Ambassador was overly "agitated" by the CPE's couchly endeavors. The Ambassador is very confused. It's good to feel sort my ol' self again.
On his knees and little puppy knuckles,
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 23:57:50
In reply to Right Honorable Herstorical Curator Steps Down, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 22:13:01
Dear Heart Shar,
I miss you already, but it's ok. I know that you'll be around and we'll see you here and there. You have been a blessing to me and I know all the Lumptonians feel the same as I.
I think your decision carries considerations for us all to make. Maybe indeed it is time for a bit of a break for us. Not that we need to stop the thread we have started, but we have been fairly well bingeing on it for about a week now. It has been rather addicting.
With the limited amount of time we have, the business of Lumptonia has grown to a level where it may encroach on other necessities. I know this is true in my case to the point where I've recently found it difficult to even experience other goings-on on the boards here much less the necessities and wonders of this other world where I am.
I'll be around Lumptonia for anyone who else may be there. Lumptonia will be around for a long time in some form or another. Sincerely, it will be in my heart forever.
As a parting gift to you, I would like to share with you some thought I had after reading of your retirement:
For the first time since Coral's post "Our Significant Others", I took a quick count of the number of messages in this thread. If my reckoning is correct, this is the 221st post.
In our nation's brief history we have witnessed a coming-together, national self-determination, the organization of a democratic national government that is based on rule of law by the people and which has had international influence and hands outstretched to the world.
We've seen the establishment of institutions in education, science, commerce, industry and law enforcement. We've seen the development of a unique culture with a unique language and collection of customs.
We've seen the establishment of a national faith that is based on freedom of interpretation and method of worship.
We've seen hard work, struggle, friendship, affection, romance, anger, frustration, anxiety, humor, intelligence, mutual dependence, mutual destruction and mutual support. We've seen loving chastisement and just good old love.
We've seen the expressing of values and of beliefs. We've seen discrimination and protestation. We've eschewed differences and embraced them. We seen seen sensitivity and indifference. We've seen embarrassment, hurt and sorrow. We've seen loss. We've seen how each other feels.
We've seen things which are great about us. We've seen things we can do. We have lifted up each other. We have seen how wonderful each other is. We have laughed with and at each other. We have laughed and laughed and laughed.
We know each other better and I think ourselves as well. We know again that it can be ok sometimes. We know we can hope. We know we can win. We know we are alive.
And we know that Coral fucks on the couch.
Not bad for a bunch of lumps, huh?
Love,
Ambassador Bob
---------------------------
> The office of Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research is now open to whomever wishes to take on the responsibility.
>
> We have covered much Lumptonian history in just a few days, and had fun, and now we are apparently going to calm down for a while, which is a good time for a break.
>
> Being now G rated, it won't take much to archive whatever remains.
>
> I salute my fellow Lumptonians and wish them fun forever, creativity, and copious amounts of laughter. It has been a fun and unique experience for me. I must say that the most hilarious item I archived was the Lumptonian walk, and found the Labassador a consistent source of hilarity, as well. And many others brought smiles and laughs out loud. Thanks!!
>
Posted by Emmanuela on November 10, 2000, at 1:23:30
In reply to Gone, but not forgotten: For Shar The People, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 23:57:50
Dearest Ambassador - You said it all almost as well as your Prime Ministress could have...and the famous Lumptonian juxtaposition of heartfelt sentiment with exceptionally loud guffawing (the comment about Coral's conjugal responsibilities taking place on the couch brought such laughter that my WH came in to see how a depressed person could make such a sound)-
It's true - it has become addicting, and I've loved every minute of it. And I've found myself rushing home from some dreaded foray to see how many little yellow 'new's would be there. As your National Choreographer, I have steps yet to be created, and as your Prime Ministress, I have many Prime activities about which to comment: Time, Numbers, etc. etc. I cannot say goodbye to our beloved Land, so I too will be in our sacrosanct Haven for anyone who might need a two-step developed, or a political matter resolved.
Blessings on all Lumptonians,
Your Prime M. and N. Choreographer
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 4:59:57
In reply to Re: Gone, but not forgotten: For Shar The People, posted by Emmanuela on November 10, 2000, at 1:23:30
To all,
Mercury is going direct today after being retrograde for awhile. I think this planetary influence may be the culprit for any nefariousness that may have occurred. Of course Lumptonia is addictive because in the blighted land of depression, we found an oasis of laughter. For me, it's finding a cool glass of water for a very parched throat.
What I know about astrology wouldn't fill a thimble, but I do know that Lumptonia is a vital, viable connection and, as with all human interaction, waxes and wanes as does the moon. WHAT is it with me and astrology today???
Maybe we're mimicking what's happening with the national election . . .???
I really have no idea what I'm trying to say with this post so I'm going back to bed....
CPE
Posted by noa on November 10, 2000, at 6:31:02
In reply to Gone, but not forgotten: For Shar The People, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 23:57:50
I hereby nominate the Ambassador for the post of Elder Statesman, for his eloquence, as waxed in the previous post.
Posted by noa on November 10, 2000, at 6:34:47
In reply to Re: Mercury going direct, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 4:59:57
we are moving toward adjournment of this national assembly?
I concur with the eloquently waxed statements about the unique pleasure this treasure has been.
Long live the Lumps. (Saluting with a Guffaw)
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 8:15:47
In reply to Re: Sounds like...., posted by noa on November 10, 2000, at 6:34:47
Dear Czar Noa,
> we are moving toward adjournment of this national assembly? I certainly hope not!!!
>
> I concur with the eloquently waxed statements about the unique pleasure this treasure has been. Oh, no..... referring to Lumptonia in the past tense? It seems that some wish to take a breather. I'm hoping that Shar will accept the post of Herstorical Curator Emeritus. As an expert in the pupating process (or was that the Messiahian?), is this a natural evolution? I'm presuming that it is - taking Lumptonia to the next stage.Unlike discovering Atlantis, Lumptonia is not limited to geographic confines. It's a state of mind.
Undoubtedly, the flurry of activity has worn out the Lumptonians who are now curled up on their various couches, resting their on their sacred pillows, tucked in their favorite bankies.
As Czar, many responsibilities now fall to you, dear Czar Noa!!!! What shall be your areas of primary interest?
Long live the Lumps. (Saluting with a Guffaw)
Saluting with a Guffaw in return,
CPE
Posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:32:28
In reply to Re: Sounds like...., posted by noa on November 10, 2000, at 6:34:47
I enjoyed reading our dear Labassador's post, and found his analysis and description quite true and even poignant. However, in direct violation of the g-rating given to Lumptonian proclamations, he did use the f-word in his post. This must call for some sort of chastisement or punishment, perhaps we will have to dig a cellar to the dog house so he can be sent to the cellar when he is already in the dog house.
If Lumptonia is G-Rated as the Czar has stated, something must be done!!
Citizen Shar
> we are moving toward adjournment of this national assembly?
>
> I concur with the eloquently waxed statements about the unique pleasure this treasure has been.
>
> Long live the Lumps. (Saluting with a Guffaw)
Posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:39:50
In reply to Re: Sounds like...., posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 8:15:47
Although I am not ready to assume the role of HC Emesis, since I need to nap for approximately 48 hours, I will never forget and always remember that you [censored] on the couch. In all my days of lumping on my current couch, the most activity that I deal with is petting a doggie when they poke me with their long nose to see if I am still alive and will be able to feed them. This of course, exhausts me, and I can barely get my hand back under the blankie before nodding off again.
Citizen Shar (you can call me Rosebud)
> Dear Czar Noa,
> > we are moving toward adjournment of this national assembly? I certainly hope not!!!
> >
> > I concur with the eloquently waxed statements about the unique pleasure this treasure has been. Oh, no..... referring to Lumptonia in the past tense? It seems that some wish to take a breather. I'm hoping that Shar will accept the post of Herstorical Curator Emeritus. As an expert in the pupating process (or was that the Messiahian?), is this a natural evolution? I'm presuming that it is - taking Lumptonia to the next stage.
>
> Unlike discovering Atlantis, Lumptonia is not limited to geographic confines. It's a state of mind.
>
> Undoubtedly, the flurry of activity has worn out the Lumptonians who are now curled up on their various couches, resting their on their sacred pillows, tucked in their favorite bankies.
>
> As Czar, many responsibilities now fall to you, dear Czar Noa!!!! What shall be your areas of primary interest?
>
> Long live the Lumps. (Saluting with a Guffaw)
>
> Saluting with a Guffaw in return,
>
> CPE
Posted by Emmanuela on November 10, 2000, at 12:03:00
In reply to Re: Sounds like.... » coral, posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:39:50
The Prime Ministress, during a State Dinner, had a note passed to her all balled up in a napkin. The note read, to wit, "I don' wanna leave Lumptonya, I don' wanna leave Lumptonya, I don' wannnna go, I don' waaaana go". The P.M. thinks the will of the people is not being carried out here, and I believe only the Czar can direct the Ambassador to take up his Stately Doodies again. I think our Ambassador has fled to a retreat somewhere in the Ozarks, or wherever those hillbillies go for R & R. And I think he needs to be told by the Curator Edema, the Czar, CPE, and other subjects that the will of the people MUST be carried out, lest the entire story be recanted.
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
In reply to Re: Sounds like...., posted by Emmanuela on November 10, 2000, at 12:03:00
(in chorus) ..."Hi, Bob!"
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:07:26
In reply to Re: Sounds like.... » coral, posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:39:50
My dearest Rosebud,
Fully respecting your decision to decline, and with your petly support, too,.... ::::imagining Rosebud declining on decouch::::: I do miss your incredible ability for accuracy in detail.
Concerning the questions of activities on the couch for which I CLEARLY take responsibility for STATING, was interactivity . . . especially as the days grow shorter, and my WH, who craves sunlight, and lacking such, lumps along with me on the couch. HOWEVER, he never uses my sacred pillow (one of the felines does, though), and finds my banky to be too hot. Now, how that got misinterpreted to mean that I f***ed on my couch . . . well, my WH did say that he was hot, and I assumed he meant the banky, and I must confess that I do find my WH to be hot . . . and he does have this touch that is ... shall I say comforting? . . . I can see where this would arouse suspicions but . . . well, we all know the value of chocolate and respect the sticky brown lips . . . sweet-tasting, sticky . . .:::shivers deliciously ::::: I think taking a nap, surely for just sleeping, is in order NOW......
CPE
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:11:40
In reply to Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
Dear Rosebud,
Thank you for clarifying "anent". I thoroughly enjoy the Ren Faire, even though I have to rest up for weeks before attending! Have you pagan interests as well, which are surely Lumptonian, undoubtedly?
Namaste'
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:18
In reply to Czar Noa....Ambassador needs slap on wrist, posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:32:28
Dear Noble Lumptonian People,
Sssssssssiiiiiiigggghhhhhhhhh! ...
ONCE AGAIN, ...well you know the rest. No one was more shocked than the Ambassador to see what his fingers had done again. Ashamed and embarrassed that he may have offended our nation's little lumplings and modest souls, the Ambassador retreated to the farthest reaches of the Ambassadorial Dog House.
The Ambassador owes a special apology to our Couch Person Extradinaire, Sterling. Considering that the reckless actions of my fingers may have harmed you, hurts the Ambassador most of all.
As you so deftly pointed out the Ambassador is obviously not fully recovered from his malady yet. It would seem that there is still some illness remaining in the Ambassador's fingers. This would also explain their preoccupation with the blue discoloration in the Ambassador's private area.
On a positive note though, having protruded from their sockets so many times seems to have permanently reshaped the Ambassador's eyeballs resulting in surprisingly improved vision. Perhaps, ever vigilant and protruding as they now are they will be more able to catch the Ambassador's fingers "in the act".
Your repentant Ambassador,
Puppy Paws
---------------------------------------
> I enjoyed reading our dear Labassador's post, and found his analysis and description quite true and even poignant. However, in direct violation of the g-rating given to Lumptonian proclamations, he did use the f-word in his post. This must call for some sort of chastisement or punishment, perhaps we will have to dig a cellar to the dog house so he can be sent to the cellar when he is already in the dog house.
>
> If Lumptonia is G-Rated as the Czar has stated, something must be done!!
>
> Citizen Shar
>
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:55
In reply to Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
Dear Mr. Ambassador, Mr. Lambrassador, Bob, Puppy Paws, or whatever name you choose, kind Sir . . .
It's been suggested that a cellar in the dog house is appropriate. I shall fight to keep you above ground, Snoopy-style on your back if you like, --- you've made admirable strides.... the admission of your profound desire to remain in Lumptonia will go far with our citizenry .. . . but I may not be successful in averting Obedience School for you, my dear . . . . especially if the Czarina Noa is intent . . . .
CPE (sterling)
Posted by noa on November 10, 2000, at 13:55:45
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:55
I believe that spot over there in the corner of the doghouse is suitable, and yes, you do have to wear the dunce cap!
Mr. Ambassador must have all shovels removed from the premises of his abode because he persists in digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole.
From now on, the Czarina decrees, by fiat even, and if that doesn't work, we'll add an some lanzia beta to the mix, she (that's me) decrees that herftofore and forthwith and hence to boot, the Ambassador shall be forever prohibited from apologizing for anything.
Yes, that's right, you read correctly. Justification for this decree: every time the bombassador attempts to apologize for the errors of his ways, that proverbial shovel reappears and he digs his hole deeper, by reviolating the standards, violation of which was the reason for his apology in the first place.
So, from now on, if and when the ambassador is chastised for violating the innuendo laws of our nation, he must respond with a simple "correction noted, Madame Czarina", and must cease and desist immediately upon such notification.
Such is the Czarina's decree.
BTW, I am also doubling as the entertainment committee couchperson (we have no need of chairs in this realm), so have this announcement to offer my fair fellow citizens:
Entertainment activity of the week: WARNING--the following entertainment activity is raited PG-13 and is unsuitable for children:
Join us for a rollicking good time as we share light drinks and food, and pass around the Ambassador's responses to the Rorshach ink blot test! You are sure to guffaw and chuckle amply as you read these innuendo-laden interpretations. A good time will be had by all (except for, of course, Mr. Ambassador, shadow of his former self, who will be languishing in the corner of the doghouse trying to remember where he hid that last contraband shovel).
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 14:05:15
In reply to Re: Czar Noa....Ambassador needs slap on wrist, posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:18
Dear Puppy Paws,
JUST so the record's straight, your fingers never ONCE hurt me!!!!!!!
CPE
Posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 17:12:16
In reply to Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
Boy, do I have experience here.....
HI BOB!
> (in chorus) ..."Hi, Bob!"
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 17:13:27
In reply to Re: Czar Noa....Ambassador needs slap on wrist, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 14:05:15
> Dear Puppy Paws,
>
> JUST so the record's straight, your fingers never ONCE hurt me!!!!!!!
>
> CPEThank you Sterling, the Ambassador was very much relieved to know that he had not hurt you with his fingers, but he still intends to use them more thoughtfully and tenderly with you in the future.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Even when the Ambassador tries to avoid it, innuendo can be read in his words. It seems the Ambassador CANNOT HELP HIMSELF! The List Of Words To Be Avoided for him will surely come to include better than 90% of the Lumptonian Dictionary!
A Note To The Czarina:
I, the Ambassador, accept full responsibility for my actions so please don't think for a moment that CPE set me up for that one.
Sulking from the Dog House,
Lambrassador B
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 17:36:39
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic... » B Day, posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 17:12:16
> Boy, do I have experience here.....
>
> HI BOB!
>
> > (in chorus) ..."Hi, Bob!"Dear Havenmaster,
The Ambassador was so excited to get your correspondence he actually stepped out of the Ambassadorial Dog House, rose upon his hind legs and danced the Officially Choreographed Lumptonian Shuffle.
The Ambassador has been concerned with the well-being of the Havenmaster the last couple of days, particularly since it was on his "puppy doo" that the poor Havenmaster slipped and hurt himself on.
The Ambassador has been composing an email to the Havenmaster filled with warm words (probably full of innuendo though), but was hesitant in that it would of course be unsolicited.
Once again, it is good to hear from you. The Ambassador hopes you continue to visit Lumptonia and its adjacent realms for a long time to come. You have been most excellent citizen and blessing for all of these diverse peoples.
Wagging his tale from the Dog House,
Ambassador B
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 18:35:03
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic... » B Day, posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 17:12:16
::::embraces the HavenMaster:::::: Ooops.... far too much activity for a Lumptonian..... aw, hell with it..... and hugs the HavenMaster anyway!
CPE Sterling
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 19:22:43
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 18:35:03
To all,
This evening, my WH was attempting to string a cord from the telephone jack to his laptop computer while I passively watched from the couch. As part of this manuveur, a very LARGE bookcase he was attempting to move began rocking dangerously, threatening to spill all of its contents, television, a thousand books, cd player, etc., on the pristine (:::LOL:::) floor..... I suggested that he (we) might consider stringing the cord behind the bookcase in a way that wouldn't require moving the bookcase at all. Realizing the blazing wisdom of my suggestion, he said, "Do you always have to find the simplest and easiest way to do something?" I smiled sweetly. Then, he slapped his forehead and said, "Sure you do that... after all, you ARE a Lumptonian!"
CPE Sterling (and a mite smug)
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 19:33:13
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Victory!!!!!!!, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 19:22:43
> To all,
>
> This evening, my WH was attempting to string a cord from the telephone jack to his laptop computer while I passively watched from the couch. As part of this manuveur, a very LARGE bookcase he was attempting to move began rocking dangerously, threatening to spill all of its contents, television, a thousand books, cd player, etc., on the pristine (:::LOL:::) floor..... I suggested that he (we) might consider stringing the cord behind the bookcase in a way that wouldn't require moving the bookcase at all. Realizing the blazing wisdom of my suggestion, he said, "Do you always have to find the simplest and easiest way to do something?" I smiled sweetly. Then, he slapped his forehead and said, "Sure you do that... after all, you ARE a Lumptonian!"
>
> CPE Sterling (and a mite smug)
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