Posted by liliths on January 18, 2007, at 9:01:32
In reply to (((((( lilliths )))))) » liliths, posted by mell on January 17, 2007, at 10:06:48
Thanks mell.. I don't know if I should post this as a new thread or not... obviously I decided to just add it to this one :)
here's the scoop from yesterday's hearing:
hi all...
sigh... even though I 'knew' the most likely outcome, I was still hoping and prepared for either the worst or the best... despite my arguments, the vote to go with PRN's recommendations was 4 to 1 (at least one person on the board heard me)
Of course I'm now kicking myself wondering what I could have said or done differently to persuade more of them though I knew there was one old lady who would never budge! It didn't even occur to me until the still of morning to wonder if anyone had bothered to read any of the material I provided beforehand. I should've asked them if they had at least read my letter and if not, to please take the time to read it then!!!
and as I was walking out, 2 different people approached me to tell me how hosed they thought I'd been. One was an instructor at a massage school who REALLY prompted me to not sign but take legal action immediately.
The other was an established LMT (over 22 years), also an instructor but also active in the Tampa FSMTA (that's a Florida State Massage therapy Assoc.) chapter. I'm a member of the Daytona Chapter but it expires in a couple of weeks... I was waiting to receive the outcome before renewing... or not. He urged me to take my situation to my local FSMTA chapter (they were who had been holding that Sports Massage team slot for me) and try and get them interested in becoming active against PRN.
but I'm still in the same boat... have to decide IF I'm willing to sign the contract, IF I'm willing to be subjected to random drug tests. I plan on contacting the woman at the board and asking her to send me the actual contract so I can look it over. I 'think' they want to monitor me for 5 years, which to me, seems totally excessive. I honestly don't think I can handle that. Plus the 'drug' tests come out of my pocket as will any documentation they require from any physician... no one will do anything for nothing so I'll just be paying and paying and paying for the privilege of having a license, which I highly doubt I'll ever use, at this point
I've already been unable to find anyone locally so if I do want to find an atty, I'll have to broaden my search... start driving all over the state... probably pay for consultations I can't afford and hope to find someone then willing to take it on a contingency basis as I'm dead broke
I'm also seriously considering not seeing a psychiatrist altogether anymore - wonder how PRN will deal with that as part of the contract calls for quarterly updates? LOL But I plan to see if my primary will write my ADD and klonopin scripts (I honestly don't know if she will) and am looking at drugs not yet available in the US, but legal to purchase from overseas.(which of course I will NOT disclose to PRN) that will cost about $100 per month (for the one I'm initially interested in) but there are others, including herbs etc... so I'm thinking of getting away from the nutland community and only going back as a last resort.
and that's my sh*tty story.. still in a quandary - the only difference being I'm not willing to sit in limbo much longer. Though John did suggest taking today to just chill out as he sees how stressed I still am
To make matters worse, that abscessed root canal has been acting up something fierce the past couple of days... I doubt it'll make it 4 more weeks till the surgery so I should probably call the endodontist about coming in for an x-ray and stronger antibiotics AND pain meds.
Which brings up an interesting question... what if they 'command' me to have my urinalysis while I'm on pain meds for some other reason - even with a legitimate prescription, it might raise flags. And how does the whole random drug test thing work, anyway? Last time they told me I had 24 hours to find a 'monitoring' lab to submit it but what if I'm actually trying to work? Gee, I can just see any prospective employer understanding that you must leave for a piss test - oh yeah, you're not a drug addict but for some reason have to continually prove that.
Oddly enough, (well, maybe not) once I got into the hotel, I never was able to even leave my room though I did get a great night's sleep... LOL took a sleeping pill and without hannah waking me up hourly, I actually managed to get some rest.
I noticed the difference right off this morning and hannah had a pretty good night.. meaning she was cuddly but still woke me throughout the night to gather her in my arms and then let us go back to sleep... for a little while.. until it was time for her to stand on the other side of me and whine to wake me to turn over and again, gather her in my arms. And that's a good night! On the bad night, she whines but doesn't let me go back to sleep, walks all over me, bats me, cries and doesn't calm down.
I woke up last night about 3am and couldn't fall back asleep.. what did I do? Binged of course... sigh.. THAT put me back to sleep but THAT's the WORST thing for me right now
wish I had better news.. Unfortunately it feels like I have no news at all... just more decisions to make and more crap to deal with
THAT's why I didn't write sooner... what to say?
I actually feel like I've let everybody down by not coming back with a victoryso sorry guys... I REALLY wish I had better news
namaste,
vness de VERY psycho> Lilith,
>
> Just sending you good wishes for all you are facing this week. I am sure hoping things are going your way! Take good care of yourself.
>
> Mell
poster:liliths
thread:711363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/723561.html