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inappropriate behavior? *triggers*

Posted by Karolina on July 27, 2006, at 23:03:28 [reposted on July 29, 2006, at 1:08:27 | original URL]

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately and have not responded to posts, I feel really bad and I want to be better about doing that, since you guys are always so nice to take the time and write something to help me out.

My boss at work is making me feel really uncomfortable, but I don't know if I am overreacting to it or not. He asks me questions that are in no way related to work, like 'Do you have a boyfriend, well why not, don't you want somebody to make out with?' And today while I was letting him know that I took a message for him while he was out, he just kept staring a hole through me and finally I just was like 'what!?' because it started creeping me out. He said 'I could stare at you all day, as beautiful as you are'...It made me feel disgusting. I have very low self-esteem and sometimes I wonder if people just give me compliments because they feel sorry for me for how bad I look and can see how ugly I feel. I don't even know if I'm making sense right now...but I am very sensitive to being called beautiful, I think it's too strong of a word to compliment with and I especially have issues with it, because when I was raped... the guy (who was a former good friend of mine) kept telling me over and over again 'you're so beautiful' along with other horrible four-letter words, talking dirty to me and calling me a b*tch. While that was happening, I had never felt so ugly in my life, so now it's like I feel sick whenever someone else has used the word beautiful to describe me.

Anyway my boss also always finds some way to touch me, just walking by or even when he stands next to me - which feels way too close. He'll like rub my shoulders or touch my back and stuff like that. Also today he told me to come into his office and sit with him just one on one to discuss business stuff but instead he ended up avoiding the subject of work and commented on my tan, asking if I was tan 'all over my body'...

Maybe I am just being over-paranoid. But he's married and has a baby at home! I felt so slutty and guilty as I left. I have to dress conservatively for my job, so it wasn't even like I was wearing a mini skirt and a low cut tank top or something. Am I overreacting? Or should I be concerned? Thanks,





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