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Re: Just wanted to share this » rainbowbrite

Posted by TamaraJ on June 1, 2005, at 16:53:07

In reply to Re: Just wanted to share this, posted by rainbowbrite on June 1, 2005, at 16:42:01

Hi Rain,

Here is a list of characteristics of a co-dependent and a list of questions to help a person determine whether they are co-dependent, for your information.

Characteristics of Co-Dependent People Are:

An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.
A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue.
A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time.
A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts.
An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment.
An extreme need for approval and recognition.
A sense of guilt when asserting themselves.
A compelling need to control others.
Lack of trust in self and/or others.
Fear of being abandoned or alone.
Difficulty identifying feelings.
Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change.
Problems with intimacy/boundaries.
Chronic anger.
Lying/dishonesty.
Poor communications
Difficulty making decisions.

Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-Dependency
This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.


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poster:TamaraJ thread:496819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050506/msgs/506394.html