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Re: Are you okay scott? SLS

Posted by baseball55 on July 11, 2018, at 16:42:41

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott? alexandra_k, posted by SLS on July 7, 2018, at 14:05:29

> Until last week, I was planning to get well and get a job in automobile sales. Now, I plan to live out my days trying to keep a roof over my head and avoiding depression and pain. I need to continue to process and accept that I will die while never having lived.
>
> That is a very sad statement. I feel very fortunate in that I did not experience depression until my late 40s, by which time I had raised children. had a long marriage, and established a professional career.

Your problems with mental illness began (I believe) when you were much younger. But to say that you need to accept that "I will die while having never lived," is not a statement that moves you anywhere positive. Maybe a more spiritual approach would help.

Accept that my life was not what I expected or perhaps had hoped for, but I have had the courage and perseverance to face it.

Accept that I do not feel as well much of the time as I would hope, but I can focus on the little joys that come with living - the warmth of the sun, the antics of a dog in a park - whatever.

I don't want to sound like a Pollyanna and nobody was more resistant to this way of approaching life as me. But I have found that a mindful approach to living is more effective in combatting depression than any drugs I have tried. Trying to stay in the moment, cultivate gratitude and nonjudgmental awareness. As my (Buddhist) DBT therapist told me, "there is peace in the moment."

By nonjudgmental awareness, I mean being aware of things without getting angry, despairing, annoyed, frustrated. Just - I feel a sense of despair right now. Where in my body to I feel this? Just watch and be aware of the sensation - what thoughts does this feeling generate. As if you were an outside observer. The biggest danger to your life and health is to respond instead by thoughts (which I fall into periodically) like, I can't stand this anymore, my life is hopeless, I will never feel better, I'll die without ever having lived.

I'm sorry for the long post and maybe I am completely off the wall. I'm not trying to sell you on some philosophy. But my depression had spiraled so completely out of control that my psychiatrist (who was also my therapist) insisted I do DBT to learn to cope with (if not completely stop) despairing thoughts. I fought the DBT therapy and all it's focus on mindfulness at first. I didn't even really understand it. But now I pretty much get it and it really does help.


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poster:baseball55 thread:1099195
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