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social reciprocity

Posted by alexandra_k on December 16, 2013, at 22:39:28

so... i'm not very good at it.

i have a floor-mate. he is nice. we hung out for a bit one evening. he stops by sometimes and knocks lightly which seems to... give me the option to ignore him. which is really nice of him, actually. i did do a bit of a panic at some point that i'd start to feel like i had to be silent and then get the escalation of silence / magnification of noise thing going on... but he seems okay about my not answering the door sometimes. not taking it personally. so... friend.

he keeps giving me stuff. he gave me a few internet cables. he is like 'i've got far too much stuff! trying to get rid of it!' it was great to have a longer cable... but now i've got a few other cables. and of course i get that what i should do with them is pass them on to others who may need / appreciate them. (technically we bring out own cable but some of the rooms have them in there already). but now i feel under social obligation to meet / hang out / see about the cable situation etc... it just... feels like social pressure? but i feel guilty / mean in just having the cables sit there in my room and he won't take them back...

he gave me an electric frypan. like a... roasting one? with a thermostat. i tried making stew... but the thermostat isn't sensitive enough to keep things on a low simmer - so i had to stand over it playing manual thermostat for a couple hours and still the meat was chewy aargh. but mmm... i need a slow cooker to compliment that... or maybe microwave... anyway... i can fry things in my room... at a low heat. i mean... i wouldn't try and sear anything or anything like that. need to be very mindful of setting off the smoke detector... need to be very mindful of preparing everything before hand etc etc because there is no elbow room at all. but it is possible, yeah. which makes me very happy.

but also... like i need to give him something back, yeah. but... ur... what? what sort of thing... i don't understand.

sigh.

he doesn't much drink alcohol. will just sort of accept it to be polite... so that won't work...

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131211/msgs/1056392.html