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Re: PC/SLS back and forth

Posted by Dr. Bob on November 7, 2013, at 18:58:35

In reply to Re: PC/SLS back and forth baseball55, posted by Partlycloudy on November 3, 2013, at 20:53:08

Hi, everyone,

I wish I'd been around when all this was going on. But it looks like you all worked this through yourselves.

I like the idea of being aware of the stories we tell ourselves. PC shared a number of examples:

> Currently I have a story that I half believe in, that is I am being bullied.

> I am dumb as a sack of rocks regarding most intellectual things.

> I will stay out of it.
>
> I know not many will even notice.

> the story I have been making up about babble is that my suggestions are not welcome, and more so, my presence is not welcome.

> I can't even tell my therapist about it. She will only be disappointed I came back.

I wondered how those "stories" got triggered. I agree with Dinah:

> we all are interpreting things in accord with what we each "hear", not what each of us "said".

What Scott posted was:

> > This place used to be a place I felt safe. Now I am ready to bolt.
>
> I'm sorry that you feel Psycho-Babble is no longer a safe place to be. You are probably right.

The story I'm telling myself is what he *said* was he also saw Babble as unsafe, but what PC *heard* was he saw her as weak:

> Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.

> It is called PTSD. It is my main diagnosis. It is triggered by being slighted

PC talked about bolting, but I like how she stayed and reflected on what was going on:

> I have lashed out, because I wasn't able to as a child.

> I recognize a downward spiral when I am having one.

> my illness ... causes me to inflict pain on others before I am really aware I am doing so badly.

What she said about her women's group was interesting:

> I go to my support meetings Sunday evenings. It's the kind of place where, if you ask whether anyone there has ever been told grow thicker skin, all hands go up.
> If you ask whether any of us have suffered from social anxiety, all hands go up.
> If you ask whether any of us have been called cry baby, all hands go up.
>
> Kind of incredible. A room full of PC's.
>
> PC

It sounded like a refuge. Or similarly "unhappy dogs" (no slight intended) in a patch together:

> The ranger (a kind of sheriff for dogs and the homeless) had been round to his place and told him to keep his dog in/on his property.
>
> Each unhappy dog on his own patch. In Cusco people locked their dogs out of the house while they were out, and the dogs just lounged around in the street together.
>
> sigismund

That's not the model for Babble. Now, anyway, Babble is more like the street. And includes male dogs like Scott (and me). Posters can lounge around together -- or bark at each other. I agree with baseball55:

> The more we communicate and keep connected, the better off we all are.

Bob


a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:1053548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131022/msgs/1053965.html