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Re: Snowflakes and a melting community

Posted by baseball55 on November 1, 2013, at 19:42:49

In reply to Re: Snowflakes and a melting community SLS, posted by Dinah on November 1, 2013, at 17:13:10

I belong to a board of like-minded colleagues in my field, which is very heavily moderated. The moderator will sometimes just close down a thread, announcing that it has become unproductive and too personal.

I'm kind of feeling this way about this thread. Things were said. Maybe ill-considered, maybe misunderstood. All the posters have enough history together to sit back and recognize that there is not a lack of good-will generally. None of the participants in this discussion have a history of being cruel or harsh or mean, at least not intentionally.

I want to contrast this with an interchange I had many months ago on the med board.

I take parnate and it causes insomnia. My p-doc prescribes 1mg xanax which I take at bedtime and it helps and I have not built up tolerance or ever mis-used it. Once I ran out four days before my appointment and figured I'd just wait until I saw my p-doc to get more rather than ask him to call in a refill. I didn't sleep for four nights. When I saw him, he said, you should have called me immediately. You are going through xanax withdrawal. I posted this and someone, don't recall who, posted this horrible response that I was a drug addict. When I ignored the post and didn't respond, the poster sent another post crowing that s/he had driven me off the board and that was a good thing.

This poster seems to have disappeared, for which I am grateful. But this is the kind of stuff which can and should really ruffle feathers and drive people away.

And it is very different I think from a misunderstanding between two long-time posters who have consistently shown interest and good-will towards others in the past.

So can we all virtually shake hands and make up? And let it go?

I used to be the most defensive person on earth. I would argue and argue and argue rather than admit that I was wrong, or may have been wrong, or may have over-reacted, or may have been less than diplomatic. All that led to was my nursing endless resentments that cut me off from people.

I find that, today, I am quick to say I'm sorry, even when things aren't really my fault. I want a feeling of peace in my life. I used to be a rageaholic (frighteningly like my abusive father). Now I can't stand losing my temper. When I do, I realize that it eats at me more than it eats at the objects of my anger.


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poster:baseball55 thread:1053395
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131022/msgs/1053565.html