Posted by Dinah on November 1, 2013, at 16:16:12
In reply to Re: Scott » Dinah, posted by Partlycloudy on November 1, 2013, at 15:53:07
What would you tell her about it? Would you show her posts or tell her about it?
PC, I like you and value your input. I'd like you to stay on Babble. I see you hurting and I hate to see that.
I don't know how to say this appropriately, without seeming to bring up prior matters that have already been reconciled. My intention is not to beat you up with something from the past, but an effort to help you maybe bring my words to your therapist and see if they have any resonance.
Sometimes we have patterns that play out over and over again. I know I do. I've experienced this pattern with you in your interactions with me in the past. I'll say something I never intended as a hurt or slight, and the reaction surprises me and confuses me, and yes, angers me to some extent. Instead of asking me if I meant what you thought I meant, which would often have settled the matter right there and then, and giving me a chance to explain, there would be a sudden explosion of anger of a magnitude I just couldn't understand. I would suddenly feel like we were enemies when I had never declared an intention to fight. I didn't understand what happened. It didn't make me dislike you or overlook your valuable contribution to Babble. But it did make me feel wary of interactions with you.
I kind of see that playing out here. I don't think Scott originally had any ill feelings. I'm reasonably sure he now does. The whole dance is playing out again to my dismay and distress.
I expect you to be angry at my saying this and possibly feel that I am siding against you or don't like you. Please understand that it is only said in concern for you. Is this something that you only see in Babble or do you have friends who suddenly turn on you in real life?
I'd like you to be able to feel safe on Babble. I offer this only as an observation to try to help.
poster:Dinah
thread:1053548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131022/msgs/1053554.html