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family matters

Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 29, 2013, at 17:54:18 [reposted on January 29, 2013, at 22:22:57 | original URL]

so....i don't know why i post this stuff here...i hardly get responses and there not that many people on babble...

anyways, so last night i was reading the bible...i know as boring as it seems i ran across a verse that directly said to me that i need to recompese with thy brother...like it stood out...so i shut it, and started reading the book of mormon....the SAME message came up....recomprimise with your brother and forgive i rerember the memories of being excluded out from funtions, god needs to get a reality check, go and forgive the person who made fun of me, mmm mm ill go forgive someone else, if even if its joe blow down the street....i mean seriously, and then let me get slapped around again, gods crazy maybe it didnt mean "brother" maybe it ment "person" not directly my direct brother... thoughts of the past about them, i get mad...its just i don't wnat to have them in my life...because the situation, they always saw me as a dork, laughed at things i did, and you know maybe it wasnt intentionally, but i avoid going back to redo something i know is going to happen again.....but it didnt just happen with them, it moved to diffrent people as i've gone through life....sometimes its worse. i mean...what am i like the lowlife to God who lets me get slapped around....no way, but this verse said "if thou doesnt forgive thy trespasser, thou will not forgive thy sins in the last of judgement" stupid!!! stupid stupid stupid! plays games with my mind, maybe god's in the way of a angelic conspiracy to bring me back into bondage.

but i mean, people do this all the time, they don't like someone, and never talk to them again...love and sentimintal/overly kind sh*t has always made me vunerable and letting people to drive knives inside me and twist....uh uh, no i will turn to hate if its with all my heart, never again will i be left for dead for being kind to people.


r


not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false beliefs

 

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