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I am having the worst inner batlle of my life....

Posted by Jay_Original1 on December 29, 2012, at 19:41:19

I would have never thought I would forget it was Christmas on Xmas morning. Maybe I just really didn't care. It felt more like Xmas didn`t care.

Before you call me Grinch.....somebody stole my Mom and hurt her...that is what it feels like. I mentioned my Mom had a major stroke in late November. Now she has had a second one, and my last image of her is laying in a hospital bed, trembling, both her body and her jaw, unconscious. She had woken up for a few minutes, and saw me (and hopefully heard) tell her how much I love her. She mouthed that she loved me too. She can`t speak because they had a tracheostomy (tracheotomy smaller version) due to a damn breathing tube. It`s all so long and complicated..now she has had a second stroke, 2 infections, one in her brain and one in her lungs...which is if there is anything called Hope, it has showed itself in clearing up the infection in her lungs. I say I may have glimpsed at Hope at sometime, in the fact my dear Mom has so much going for her...especially at 73...in that she doesn`t smoke...eats the most healthy diet...and walked almost 2 miles every day for the past 15 years.

I am also looking after my severely depressed (he is on meds) 75 year old father, who is now disabled, and has a mini-novel length of ailments...including non-working kidneys and is on dialysis.

It is NOT my Mom, nor my Dad`s, time yet....I just absolutely know this. It is often the only thing that keeps me going...and from giving up. Never surrender. &%$! the norm, the odds.

That is all I can write for now....I am sorry. Please, I ask for your prayers...I don`t know what I believe in anymore, but Spirit and Hope are good enough for me! Thank you kindly for the b-day wish SG!

-Jay


"The treasure of a life, Is a measure of Love and Respect..the way you live, the Gifts that you give"
N.P.


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poster:Jay_Original1 thread:1034165
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20120929/msgs/1034165.html