Posted by floatingbridge on July 27, 2011, at 19:53:35
In reply to Re: Dragging... (warning uncheerful post ;-) » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on July 27, 2011, at 18:44:45
> The hitting was less bad than the neglect.
I can see how that would be. Esp. the predictable caning that occurs for talking past bed time. You used the word 'clean'. I guess I become reactive because I have seen and experienced unpredictable hitting of children out of rage. And because that child transgressed some mysterious adult boundary without any awareness.
I never went to boarding school, so much of it is difficult to
imagine. Not seeing a parent for a year. Being without a parent for a year.After thinking about this thread and all the comments of the contributors, there's something else I want to say. When children/adolescents are left to, and therefore tacitly allowed to, harm, ostracize, practice power over, and otherwise bully their peers, where are the adults? Why is it boys will be boys or any other platitude? Why does our society accept the
default position of Lord of the Flies and let it play out over and over like that's a human being's natural baseline?But these are big questions. And obviously they get played out through the minds and bodies of people. Just the ancient idea of needing a scapegoat. Is that like the debasement and ostracism of the vulnerable for, as you said, the edification of
others (was that your word?).I don't understand the reference to Linehan. That her sense of myself exists as you? Can someone explain that to me?
I guess it's been days since that call sigi. I feel you will find
the heart and mind and therefore the way clear to express yourself to this man. I do hope the best.I also think it is possible to love in an unselfish way. There is no shame in receiving nurturance or whatever during the act
or sensation of love for another being. That's something that can make love, when cleansed of drama, very healing. It goes both ways. There is an idea that love is somehow selfish (reflects the needs of the lover) or conversely, it needs
to be selfless in order to be legitimate. Can both ideas be false?
>
> There was a boy from Bahrain in year 7. Which meant that he would not see his parents for almost a year. When they left he howled like and animal being branded.
>
> And like Dinah said, the way the kids treated each other was even more threatening than the way the teachers did.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:991485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110722/msgs/992080.html