Posted by zonked on June 5, 2011, at 17:19:00
Thanks again to the board for being my surrogate therapist.. with the type of insurance I have and on my income, it has proven challenging to find someone to work with me. I don't blame most therapists for not taking Medicare/Medicaid, as I understand reimbursement rates are very low compared to private insurers or people who can afford to pay out of pocket.
Is it wrong of me to want to see someone with experience, rather than an intern at a sliding scale clinic?
SLS, I tagged you specifically because you've struggled a lot longer than I have and seem to be on the mend, but this applies to everyone else too...
I have a huge guilt/shame complex around being on federal disability for depression. I guess what I'm about to say may sound controversial, but I am going to say it anyway: when I am around those sicker than I am, such as in the lobby of my doctor's office, I instantly lump myself in with the group and think .. "I'm one of THEM. DISABLED. An invalid, I'll never work again." I think about days when the world only held promise for me, and wish I could feel that way again...instead, I feel like I'm damaged goods and it's just too late.
It's been so long since I've worked, I am afraid to even try...Who would hire me?
Has anyone been able to successfully get off the disability rolls? What did it take? Do you know of anyone who's done this successfully?
Perhaps this isn't the best place to ask -- as a doctor once told me, folks in remission or asymptomatic (myself included, I confess) don't tend to frequent online support forums...
I just hope I can do it. I can't imagine a lifetime of this--not acceptable.
Sorry to sound negative. :-/
-z
poster:zonked
thread:987235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110517/msgs/987235.html