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Re: redwood

Posted by redwood on May 20, 2011, at 17:36:22

In reply to redwood » redwood, posted by floatingbridge on May 20, 2011, at 9:55:34

Yes, Im new. I have been trying to understand mental illness and what has happened to me by searching the internet, and this site was the best I have found.

Im like you in that I am functional, and I look and mostly behave completely normally BUT it is a huge act and exhausting too. I feel that I am a very different person now, and that is what led to my husband and I separating. The hardest thing is that while depression is widely accepted now, no-one understands this and it is such an isolating experience.

But unlike you, I have no traumatic childhood experiences. Quite the opposite in fact, which is why I have struggled for so long to accept the diagnosis of CPTSD. My initial diagnosis in 2006 was of major depression, possibly with post-partum depression as the trigger. (I dont actually think this was the case, I think it had far more to do with the fact that I was socially isolated with no real support). A series of really stressful events then triggered the CPTSD, including a (not life-threatening) natural disaster.

This does fit with what I have read, as do my symptoms. The main thing I have read about CPTSD is that the illness seems to be significantly worse for people with no social support. My in-laws told me that I was making it all up and all contact has been broken. Friends didnt get it, and so I have found it too difficult to continue socialising. I am withdrawing more and more I feel, although I am trying to resume work. Right now though, it seems to be all I can do to get meals cooked and care for my two children on the days when they are with me.

Re the meds, Epilim is a mood stabiliser, and apparently 700mg daily is a low dose. I was started on it after a drug-induced hypomanic experience on Imipramine. They thought this meant I had bipolar disorder, although this is (I think) no longer the case. It does seem to help me stay more level in mood. The Venlafaxine also seems to have helped, but if I forget to take it I become very agitated and have self-harmed while dissociated. This was terrifying the first time it happened to me. It now seems I have no choice but to stay on the meds until I can get back to work, although I am determined to come off eventually.

I hope this helps you with your experience. Im glad to hear that therapy and meds have helped. I cant speak highly enough of therapy. It has kept me going when things were so black and I was so alone, given some meaning to life, and helped me to be the best mother I can for my children. Like you, they are everything to me.

Thankyou for replying. If I want to find out more about meds, should I also post this under medication? I am unsure about the procedures here.


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