Posted by Deneb on May 4, 2010, at 1:41:35
My lack of academic achievement has me a bit down again. My sister is doing her PhD in biochemistry and here I am without a bachelor's degree.
I just wish I had the personality and intelligence to be a doctor or a scientist or theoretical physicist or something. Actually, theoretical physicist would be way cool!
I think I am capable of getting my Bachelor's of Science, at least intelligence wise, but I don't know about the personality part.
I'm just so unsuccessful that it is not funny. I am unsuccessful in all areas of life. Even my friends who did not go to university are more successful than I. They have good jobs that pay well and families.
How did I get this way? I used to be one of the smartest people in my class (not in English class though, just math and science, I have weak language skills). How did I go from being a straight A student to being nearly 30, living with my parents, having no real life friends and working in a donut shop?
I feel discouraged. I want everyone to be proud of me, not ashamed.
Academic achievement is very important in my family and for people of Chinese descent in general. It's part of our culture. I feel like such a failure.
I wish I had the drive, strength, mental stability and intelligence to succeed academically in university.
Sigh. Everyone had such high hopes for me. Everyone thought I was smart. The only problem was my severe social anxiety that prevented me from doing most things. Then came the horrible depression near the end of high school. That was the beginning of the end. I don't know if one can have an adjustment disorder for years, but I think I did.
poster:Deneb
thread:946229
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100417/msgs/946229.html