Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2009, at 9:37:17
In reply to I think I need many alarm clocks, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 18:11:12
You know your mom doesn't really understand these things. Neither does mine. Members of her family have had bad experiences with psych meds so she's even worse. I found my second pdoc (as an adult) from a recommendation she got, and she'd understood he didn't like to prescribe drugs. She was wrong of course. He was sensible prescribing, and he understood the possibilities of side effects, but he wasn't anti-med.
Did I tell her? No. What's the point in talking to her about things that I know will just end up annoying me and upsetting her? She's never going to understand or agree with me, and she doesn't need to.
Boundaries work for both of you, Deneb. She is Mom, you are Deneb. She stops at the end of her skin, you stop at the end of your skin. She's made her choices in life, you have the same right to make yours. It's natural that she wants to help you, and you can appreciate that without taking in what she says as something you need to do. If you believe in a duty of a daughter to a mother, then you ought to be respectful of her. You can listen to her stories about herself perhaps, and help her around the house, and follow her house rules. But duty doesn't require you let her make your choices for you.
And you might want to consider if any particular discussion will yield information you don't already know, or any positive benefits. You know how your mother feels about school and marriage and mental illness. Are there any positive benefits to discussing those things with her further?
I have three alarms set up. One usually rings *after* I've already started to do what it is ringing for. One is the theme music from Sex and the City, and it's remarkably effective. My phone is usually in the other room, and the alarm is loud enough to wake me up from across the house. I am forced to get up and stagger to the alarm to turn it off, at which time I actually do take my morning meds. However effective it is, though, I may need to change the tune because I don't want to end up hating it. The evening alarm is a problem. It's in the same room I am, usually right next to me, and I turn it off without even noticing I'm doing it. :)
poster:Dinah
thread:911181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090802/msgs/911747.html