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Re: Being a sperm donor » Quintal

Posted by Kath on August 31, 2008, at 21:27:11

In reply to Being a sperm donor, posted by Quintal on August 4, 2008, at 14:56:06

Hi Quintal,

I haven't read the whole thread, but I just want to give a 'pulling no punches' quick-flash reality picture.

We never know WHAT is going to happen when we have a child.

If the child turned out like one of mine, you'd be talking about a child who turns out to be a kind, fun, loving, generous, very intelligent, interesting, artistic, wonderful, sensitive person...

who has ADD, who started drinking, smoking & doing drugs around 13; also started skipping school big-time around then; whose drug use escalated from weed pretty quickly so that by 15 he was doing acid, hash, ketamine, & not that many years later, add in ecstasy, cocaine (including smoking it), crystal meth; by 22 having psychotic episodes, ending up with full-blown life-threatening psychosis; in hosp for a month & various times thereafter; diagnosed with schizophrenia; etc etc.

I am not trying to bad-mouth my child. He is a wonderful PERSON. His essence is. But he has BIG problems.

I am also not trying to throw cold water on the idea of having children.

I am saying that we never know how our children will turn out. I've lived through this with a VERY supportive, loving partner. I am very worn-down by all those years & the ongoing stuff still going on. I dread to even think of how it would be to go through even a part of that with possible other complications added in.

Maybe I'm just being negative & 'jaded' but I did want to mention that I wonder when people are thinking of having a child, how much thought they give to the fact that one just does not know what one is going to be presented with over the years.

Who knows - maybe if people thought about that nobody would have kids!

I am concerned about your well-being in the situation you've described.

I wish you all the best, Kath

 

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