Posted by Kath on July 30, 2008, at 11:06:52
In reply to Re: I don't feel happy anymore » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on July 27, 2008, at 11:20:12
I've included what you said & will comment at the end:
> It always pisses me off (at myself) when I don't feel like doing something but people convince me to anyway. And then I just end up feeling miserable. I guess the lesson is don't let anybody convince you to do something you don't want to. Easier said than done, I know
>
> Try to think of how it would feel if you were the one badgering somebody else to go somewhere with you and they are resisting. What would make you leave them alone? For me if someone said firmly, "No thank you, I appreciate the invitation, maybe next time" would be enough.
>
> But for the really persistent people, I think just repeating that same phrase or some variation over and over would eventually get through to them.
> "Sorry, maybe next time"
> "I appreciate your asking, you guys have fun."
> "No, I'm sure, I have some matters to attend to"
>
> And don't let them distract you by asking "Why?" A simple, "I just don't feel up to it tonight." should suffice. And if they again say, "But why, are you sick?" Again I would repeat, "I just don't feel up to it tonight." You are under no obligation to give anyone details.
>
> If all this fails and you feel completely cornered, I would say, "Look I just don't want to." We're taught to always be polite and not hurt anybody's feelings, but it that doesn't mean you don't have the right to fight back when necessary.
>
> I guess its obvious I writing all this to myself as well as you. Why is it always easier to give advice than take it yourself? Anyway, try to take it easy. Give yourself some alone, quiet, uninterrupted time to get your emotional equilibrium back. I'm going to go do the same.
>
> -T**********THAT was great TC. I am 'blown away' by this post. Thanks for the wisdom & clarity.
luv, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:842289
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080721/msgs/843036.html