Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2008, at 8:19:38
In reply to Re: Slinky, posted by daveuk08 on June 16, 2008, at 2:56:51
I'm sorry, Dave. That really isn't fair, and I'm sure it wouldn't have been what Slinky would have wanted.
What you did, you did for Slinky. And while the sprinkling of her ashes is symbolically important and it would be nice if the people closest to her were unified for that, she's not really in her ashes. There was probably more of who Slinky was in her flat. It might have been convenient for them to let you clean that out, but it did give you a chance to be close to Slinky one more time. I find myself brought close to my father at the most unexpected times. I'll open a book and see that he used it jot down a telephone number, and his writing will bring back an instant of closeness.
Maybe you could come up with a ritual for yourself that would bring a similar sort of closure that scattering ashes would bring? I'm not really good at that sort of thing, but maybe lighting candles, or planting a tree, or maybe you could meditate on the matter and see what comes to mind?
I don't know what you do for a living, but in some strange ways it was healthy for me to be forced to the office after my father's death, and to do the normal everyday things I usually did. It forced me into a world that didn't revolve around his loss. And as angry as that made me, because it didn't seem as if the world *should* go on as usual, I think it helped.
poster:Dinah
thread:834570
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080601/msgs/834857.html