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Re: Moving/not-moving - old feelings arise! » Kath

Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2008, at 16:26:44

In reply to Re: Moving/not-moving - old feelings arise!, posted by Kath on May 18, 2008, at 15:08:03

I can certainly understand that. With some things, if I can work them out myself without involving my husband, life is much smoother. It's not that he doesn't care. It's more that he cares so much, and feels so responsible for more things than he should feel responsible for. If he feels that he let us down in any way, he gets angry with himself. And none of us find that pleasant.

But I guess it's the flip side of having a husband who cares so much and takes his responsibilities seriously.

I think it's probably best to go back to thinking how much you enjoyed yourself with your dear husband, who likes canoing as much as you do. :)

I like to connect with nature in ways that make me feel very small, and God (or nature, or whatever you might believe) seem very big. So mountains, or really vistas of any sort. Or standing in the wind and rain. Or being in a plane with my nose pressed to the window. The closest I've come anywhere near here is being on a very high floor of a resort on the gulf coast and watching the waves come in and out and in and out. Always breaking in the same places, yet never looking the same. I used to try to get to the mountains every couple of years. My family of origin went nearly every year. But my son and husband are less interested.

On the plus side, everything is so lush around here. The trouble is more that everything grows too much than coaxing it to grow. There is so much beauty in the flowers, and so many heady smells from the sweet olives and gardenias and my favorite, the jasmine. Living here isn't half bad. At least when it isn't too darn hot to enjoy it.

My parents had a beautiful enclosed patio, and while I can't hope to replicate that without adding onto the house, I am looking into making our patio as nice as it can be. Maybe a fountain like they had, surrounded by potted plants. And some comfy patio furniture that calls to be curled up in. And some misting fans to keep the heat at bay.

 

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