Posted by ClearSkies on August 22, 2007, at 13:28:30
Which is expected, I suppose. So horrible to feel inhibited where we've all called "home" for so long.
So, I'm going out on my limb. And I'm going to post. To hell with feeling safe - this place is what we make it! Don't let the bad guys win! And all that stuff. Insert your favourite cliche <here>. I know they've been talking about some of this on the Psych board, the feeling safe stuff, but I don't post much there. And I haven't talked about the babble issues in therapy at all.
But there's been things IRL that touch on the safety issue too, and perhaps because this is all happening at the same time, it's just freaking me out. There's a really long construction project going on where I live, and it turns out that you can see in through the skylight to the shower stall in our bathroom. I just happened to get that hinky feeling one morning, that there was a pair of eyes on me, but I was wrong. There were multiple pairs of eyes on me! So at the moment I'm either showering in the guest room bathroom (no windows there) or waiting until the sun goes down and the workmen go home to get myself clean. Cripes. And this project just isn't ending - it's been going on for 6 weeks, and there's probably another 6 weeks' of work ahead. So that's making me feel very jumpy and wishing that I could just check into a hotel for the duration.
The other safety issue has to do with my step daughter, who is thankfully to family therapy with her dad (yay!!!) and is trying to untangle herself from an abusive boyfriend. The abuse has escalated from "merely" emotional and verbal to physical violence, and the young woman is completely at his mercy. Today's been another dramatic day of hectic phone calls, trying to get her to safety and beyond his reach. None of us are well equipped to handle the high levels of emotion and sense of physical danger that prevails; we are all perpetually exhausted.
And then there's Babble, and our issues of safety here. So is it that my bubble has burst and I no longer have this illusion of having a safe place? My home, with my family, with my friends on the internet...? Interesting that this all coincides; I understand that there's an important lesson here that I'm learning quickly, about complacency and feeling lulled by inaction.
I'm not going to keep quiet, though. I found my voice at babble a long time ago, and it's not easily given up.
cs
poster:ClearSkies
thread:777821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070803/msgs/777821.html