Posted by Enigma on July 30, 2007, at 11:02:59
In reply to Where are you supposed to find good friends? » Enigma, posted by Sigismund on July 29, 2007, at 22:56:22
> That is an excellent question, and if I'd found the answer I wouldn't be here, I guess.
>
> >Anyway, I'm a guy, and sorry to say it, but I NEED to hang out socially with other guys (or at least ONE other guy), for my own sanity.
>
> Yeah, I know what you mean. Relations between men could do with improvement (they could exist, for a start).
> Hell, relations all round could do with improvement.
>
> Friendship is the one are in which Jesus was surely right when he said 'to each who has shall more be given, but to him who has not, even that which he has shall be taken away'.
>
> Manchester? Nowhere near me.
> I'm amazed you can work.Actually, I'm no longer with that company and unemployed, but more importantly, disabled (collecting disability) now. I forget how long I've been out of that company now. Maybe 1 to 1 1/2 years now.. I think.
I hear you on the relationships/friendships with men. Unfortunately, all I've met are selfish jerks (I sound like a woman who is dating, don't I?). I could go on and on with the horror stories. The women friends I've had at work were no better, but they acted like they were.
In my life, I've found the following to be true, and it's happened to me more times than I can count, over the past 20 years.
Any single male friend I've had only seems to want to be with you, hang out with you, etc, just up until they meet a woman, then you and every other male friend they have/had are discarded like rotten eggs.
I had friends for years in the past, and they have been unable or simply unwilling to continue their friendships while they were dating/going out with/married to a woman. It's so "high school" it sickens me. As I got older, none of these men changed their ways and/or matured ONE single bit.
Many of the married men were/are pathetic. They would constantly lie to their wives just to spend some time out with the guys, then wonder why their wives didn't "trust" them. Of course, 1/2 would still hit on any girl who showed any interest in them, when they were out with the guys. What's worse, every guys' night out was ruined when any of the guys met a woman that night. They would leave us, and spend the rest of the night with the woman they just met, acting as if the rest of the guys they came there with, weren't even there!!
I'm talking about men in their 30's to 40's, but it sounds like I'm talking about high school kids.
Just for laughs, I should make up some fake names for these guys and give you their personality profiles and the pathetic way each behaved as a friend, as a husband, etc.Why did I even hang around with them? Well, it's simple, beggars can't be choosers!! I tried to make the best of it, until finally, like I said, I had enough. I was killing myself just to remain friends, while they were doing everything in their power to make that impossible, pretty much, unaware and ignorant of their actions and the repercussions of those actions.
It's funny.. I wonder if there are personal pages you can put an ad in to try to find good friends. I'm sure there aren't, as anyone reading them would assume anyone using such a service must be a complete loser.
Men can't really meet other men without one man thinking the other is coming on to them. It's pretty sad. I find trying to find a friend exactly like dating, without the interest in sex of course. If you push too hard or move too fast, you scare the other guy away. If you don't push at all, they think you aren't interested in them.It's so sad that you have to play this complex social game in order to "meet" a guy that your goal is to become friends with.
I tried to find a depression group to go to in my area, but I can't find one, not one close to me anyway. I'm not joining any clubs and such to meet people either, as the odds of gaining a friend there is a shot in the dark at best and I really don't want to waste my time and/or money.
The only people in my IM friends list, all 2 of them, I met in multiplayer video games and are half my age, and live 1/2 way across the world! Sadly, I've talked to these people more in the last few months then I've talked to all of my old coworker/friends combined.
I love the expression, "with friends like these, who needs enemies?"
It's been true so many times in my life, it's, well, very depressing.Oh well, back to my video games...
poster:Enigma
thread:772685
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070707/msgs/772879.html