Posted by snapper on June 20, 2007, at 4:25:19
In reply to sick of the fight, posted by snapper on June 19, 2007, at 23:20:57
Hey you guys ... I wish I did not ruminate soooooooooo much. I feel like such a loser. I think I have been suffering this sh#t for a longer time than I realized. I do not feel loved and accepted. I went through my yearbook (stupidly) and read the good things people said about me and for me and I can not even beleive it was ever even me. I am so sad and lonely ....... I feel like a bottom dwelling loser...yet I think it is the beast lying to me. I am not suicidal but I certainly did not ever think I would entertain it as a way out. I know my drinking does not help but for A period it helps numb my pain...in which there seems to be no end in sight or cure for. Why was I born and dealt this lot. I can NOT even realize the way this illness has altered who I am or was. It lies and steals and destroys. Da*mn it I am just very lonely and regardless of meds and VNS and other things, I just feel like a worthless piece of sh*t. I wish I could sleep for a year and wake up with a different outlook!
snapper
poster:snapper
thread:764322
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070617/msgs/764362.html